MEN only respond please......Absolutely... no WOMEN?

Question

This is my 2nd time asking..I really need a man's point of view
My wife lied,she told me she could never get pregnant..Now she is three months pregnant?
My wife lied,she told me she could never get pregnant(she said she had a Hysterectomy) ..now she is 3 months pregnant?
Thats one of the reasons i married her She knew I did not want kids ever and she agreed ..now she wont get rid of it.What can i do???????????......can I Sue her to get rid of it
I have three pitbull dog's ,They are my children .they are not too friendly with children .Can you beleve it....My wife has the nerve to ask me to get rid of my boy's(the dogs) What kind of mother would she make if you can just throw out part of your famiy members (the dogs)Should we seperate.or is there any legal action i can take.

How can i ever trust her again?

Answer 1

Ditch the *****!!! and then sue her. If she's lied to you on this what else has she lied about. Sorry bud but you've been done over!

Answer 2

Wow...Sounds like you are really in a bad way here. I can agree that having been lied to by your wife, especially about something like having a hysterectomy is not exactly easy to overcome. Have you asked her why she used this deception? It sounds like a cry of desperation on her part. She wanted you at all costs. How was she going to explain the sudden change from being unable to conceive to her current situation? Sadly, it seems she did not really consider the outcome. Or maybe she felt that when the time came you would be accepting of it.
You have 2 options really. You can stay and work on the reltionship if you truly love your wife. Not going to be an easy road by any means. Go to counseling, go to your pastor/priest. Use all the resources available before making a drastic decision. You apparently loved your wife, you married her. I would hope that the deciding factor in marrying this woman was not just based on the fact that you thought she was "fixed." The dogs would have to be a compromise. Can you build a kennel for them at your home until the child is old enough to understand and can treat them accordingly with the dogs temperment?
Your other option is to seperate. You would have legal grounds for divorce because you married under false pretenses. You were under the assumption that she could not have children and she willingly deceived you on that count.
But as far as having any legal action to make her abort, absolutely not. You cannot force her to abort. And no matter what decision you eventually make, you will be financially responsible for this child. So do not punish the child for the mother's mistakes.
The only words of comfort I can maybe give you is that there are many people out there who felt as you do, that they never wanted to have children. Until they had one themselves. This change does not have to be a tragic end to your world, but can be a wonderful addition.
Give yourself time to overcome the shock, the feeling of betrayal etc... Don't discount your marriage until you can honestly say that you exhausted all possibilities, all avenues in trying to make it work.
Trust is something that has to earned. That takes time. Has she given you any other reason for distrusting her? Don't get me wrong, this is a big one but how has the relationship been before this?
Nothing is insurmountable. You can overcome anything if you truly love someone.

Answer 3

Hmmmmm sounds like a tough one, Also Sounds like you have quite a Manipulator on your hands, Ive known a few women like that and they can make it hard for you to trust anybody. I would bet she probably felt like well he just says that but once the child is born he will come around.
To me there Is nothing more precious than my kids. (the witch of a mother ran off) If the child is born I would hope you could Discover that Joy.
I do Not think you should be forced to give up your beloved pets. I'm sure IF you decide to leave that the courts WILL make you pay dearly just for being the father of that child regardless of the How and Why. It isnt the childs fault and the courts will do what they can to ensure that child Is properly cared for. There Also is NO DOUBT that courts will favor the Mother in 95% of most cases. About the only Chance you would have in court is IF you were to seek getting full custody ( which is opposite of what you are wanting) and even then you'd only have a 10% chance at best :-s
There is a Group to help Men in Divorce Cases called United Fathers of America. should be able to find them through your normal search. I think in most cases they are all about helping men get custody, but IF you are adamant about not wanting kids Hopefully you can find an answer there Also.
My best advice is .... Divorce is Tough.. Try to find a place where You, Your wife, the dogs and the baby can Co Exist. I believe you will find a child of your own to be the most precious Gift you ever received. Believe me its a whole Lot different than being around your brothers kids!. I wouldnt Know what to do with that wife of yours but time does seem to heal most wounds. If this Was On Purpose how can you trust her? However does'nt the woman you love deserve the things she wants? ( sorry your on your own on that one )
Life throws us Curveballs .... I hope you hit yours out of the park!
:-)
Good Luck

Answer 4

Only you can decide what to do. I.E. How much do you love your wife? How important is it to you that you have a trustworthy spouse that won't lie to you? If it was a central issue to your relationship that you did not want children, then you might want to separate because she violated something she knew was essential to your being in a relationship with her. I am female, I have two cats, and they are like my family as well and I would not get rid of them for any man. I've had two men be allergic to them and it was the men, not the cats, that had to go. Take some time to contemplate what you want, what has been violated, get some counseling on your own if you feel that is best, or with your wife if you want to stay with her for now, and then make a decision. It is wrong to stay just because of a child. Children deserve love, care, and family, but there are ways to raise them other than in the traditional cookie-cutter family environment. There also are ways to be a father without being in a sadness-filled, unhappy marriage and you can bet the child would grow up screwed up if it were that way, too.

Answer 5

As far as legal action is concerned, I suppose nothing could help you because society is so much in favor of marriage, family values, protecting and raising children and so on. Some of the other answers here suggested that the love between you and your wife is the most important thing and that it will conquer anything. I am of a completely different opinion. First it seems that this woman took you in, she lied to you. That is no sign of true love. Second, it seems you two are very different persons and therefore in the long run you will have difficulties. So my advice is, although this sounds terribly cold and cynic, get out of this marriage as long as you can divorce at low cost. In a few years she will be in a position to humble you and take everything from you that you possess. I wish you all the best, hope I could help you a bit!

Answer 6

No man! What u and your misses have between you is really special and nothing should make u get separated, not some stupid dogs, or some kid. These are a part of your life, an insignificant part. The love between you and your wife is what matters. The kid is a result of that love. Try to accept this as a natural course.(Don't get rid of the dogs! I love pitbulls! Still this shouldn't interfeers with your judgement, you won't give the dogs up, but u wanna give up a child, to kill him?). You have a problem. Have u been abused when little, or do u come from a disfuntional familly?

Answer 7

I love this modern automatic response to sue when something does not go your way! It is quite amusing! I agree, the situation sucks. Especially if you guys laid things out in detail at the start of your relationship. Thing is, lied or not, you are stuck in this situation, now with a child that is in part created by you (rightly or wrongly). You have to face the fact that you are going to be financially responsible for this child for a long time to come – regards of the circumstances of its conception.
I think that you have two choices – stay married, and compromise – although I would suggest counseling if this is the path you go down, as you have some strong trust issues to resolve. The dogs will probably have to go here, though. Or, the second choice is to get divorced – but this still does not absolve you of responsibilities to your child.

Things went wrong, and unplanned, but that is life, regards of what was said. People have been struggling with unwanted children for as long as time itself (unwanted for whatever reasons – be thankful you don’t live in a time past where the extra child may have meant starvation for your family!).

Sorry to say it, but your life is about to really change, against your wishes maybe, but change nonetheless. Best wishes – I hope things turn out ok for you.

Answer 8

You don't sound very happy about her pregnancy and though I understand your stance on not wanting children,You should get a divorce
if you could ever love an animal more than you would love your own flesh and blood child.
Though, if you had one of your own,those dogs would stay outdoors in the doghouse.

You should "man up" & have the baby with your wife because it's what she wants obviously.In other words,you should be grateful to have someone as a life partner
and be willing to give her the baby.

I don't know how old you are.You sound rather young,so good luck to the both of you.Man up,meet it head on and it will work out!

Answer 9

I know that you said you did not want a woman to answer, but oh well. I don't think that you can sue her for lying. I think that divorce is the only way that you can go on that. It would be no different than if she had cheated on you and gotten pregnant, you could not sue her, just divorce her. She should not have lied to you, that was wrong, but you should not ask her to kill and innocent baby, who has no fault in this what so ever. Please do not hate the baby, if nothing else, hate your wife she did this not the baby... there is always adoption...

Answer 10

You think it is OK to "get rid" of your child but not 3 filthy dogs, you are a sick person. Sounds like your wife is a lying psycho however, and you were not able to see this prior to getting married. You sound incredibly stupid and deserve to be in the spot you are in. Which is f**ked, she will screw with you till you are bleeding from the ears. Try to be a man and be a good Dad, what else is there?

Answer 11

Get rid of it? Dude, it's a child you are talking about here. Grow up. Take some responsibility. Get rid of the dogs and start learning how to be a father. If you can't do that then she needs to divorce your *** and move on. She and your child will be much better off without you.