i am married for 7 years but its not a typical normal marriage.?

Question

i am married for 7 years but its not a typical normal marriage.
We are only married in name. We live together but led separate lives.We can both date other people and that we agreed that no one including our friends or family members should know.We both got married only because some stuff about getting an apartment.
we were strangers when we got married. Currently i'm in a serious relationship with my bf, and both of us wants to settle down but the problem is my "husband" seem to be making this
annoying attitude whenever i bring us the topic about getting an anullment but he just keep avoiding it and he keep insisting that it will be a divorce instead of annulment. Ok it was only 1 time dat we had sex which was like a year ago but both of us were drunk at that time.i noticed that ever since dat day he kind off tone down is "player" ways. he used to bring girls home all the time ..he even cooks me dinner now~

he gets irritated when i bring my bf over. he would just pick a fight with me for whatever reason
sure i have some feelings for him i mean after living 7 years together .. i
its not all that bad. so its like i aint sure if i should be with bf or stay on with my husband.
yes i love my bf but at the same time i afraid if i stay with my husband,
and give my heart to him, he wont feel the same way abt me .. what should i do??

Besides the apartment stuff dere are some other factors on why we decided on this marriage thing ..

Answer 1

this is what you get when you play with fire.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

The rules of the game changed once you had sex. Sex creates a bond, especially if it was good. It seems to me that he wants a real marriage and you aren't sure. Once you have sex, you don't get an annulment. An annulment means that the marriage has not been consummated. He seems to be showing signs of jealousy. There are more advantages for the man to get married. He doesn't have to look around for girls for one. Once you marry, the cooking will probably stop. Anyway, you need to decide what you want and then discuss it with him to see if he wants the same thing. Be aware that people who have lived together for years break up soon after getting "married." Whatever you do, I wish you the best.

Answer 4

You should end the marriage but ask yourself this. Would your bf really want you after you end it. Some guys like that fact that they don't have to commit to someone and you seem to have the the best of both worlds.If your husband is willing to keep up this game why not just stick it out.Why does it have to be an annulment? When I was going threw it, it just seem a lot of work to prove anything and there is no grantee that you will get it and since you have no kids a divorce will be a lot quicker and you really don't need him to agree to anything.

Answer 5

From what I've read, it appears that your "husband" does have feelings for you. After all, you said after the two of you had drunken sex, he stopped "playing". From a man's point of view, he was trying to show you that he was committed to you. His giving you excuses (annulment/divorce) is also a sign that he doesn't want your relationship to end. And his jealousy? A tell tale sign that he wants to be more than just friends. If you're comfortable with him, you should try to work on it and get rid of the boyfriend. If you don't have any feelings for him, do whatever he wants (divorce), but get him out of your life if that's the case.

Answer 6

There are many arranged marriages that starts off like yours (perhaps without the mutual dating agreement) but where the people end up really loving each other, and again it may not work out. But if your husband is a good man and he is showing interest in you, why not go for it? Why not treat him like a man and see where it leads you? Better to know then to always wonder.

Answer 7

It sounds like your husband is beginning to have real feelings for you. It is only natural that you live with someone for 7 years and develop feelings for one another. Maybe you should consider how you truly feel. Then I would get up the nerve to have a serious conversation about your feelings. I bet he will open up to you about how he feels about you. He has even made a move by leaving other women alone and cooking for you. He sounds like a really nice guy. Girl you better snatch him up now before he changes his mind or someone else comes along. Good Luck!

Answer 8

Your excuse of why you got married sucks. I hope your parents didn't pay for your fake marriage, and beside you were making promises under God. You and your husband deserve each other. Become an honest persons and do what is right. Only you can answer that question.

Answer 9

sounds to me honey hes love struck, your one time encounter must have been a doozie, he cant seem to get it outta his mind, after 7 years there is no such thing as an annulment get a divorce and start your own life over not this make beleive world you are in now

Answer 10

Move out to your new boyfriends home and get a divorce before it wrecks the rest of your life

Answer 11

you never should have done that in the first place but sound like your husband likes you and wants you to actually "be" his wife. and it will be a divorce- anulments are through church and you have to give them a pretty good reason as to why it shouldn't have happened