My neighbor has been hitting on me for months. I am happily married and I told him so. He gave me his cell phone number and I called him and told him to please leave me the hell alone. I didn't tell my husband at first because I knew the reaction that he would have. Last night, I told him everything and he is determined on really hurting the guy. ( he can really do it to). He is also mad at me because he said that he can't trust me now and I should have told him already and I should never have called him, I told him that he was right, but ABSOLUTELY nothing happened with this guy. We are neighbors so I was trying to turn him down without it being some major thing, because we have to live by each other, and he is also married. So now I've got **** coming to me from my husband and if she finds out( which she will) he is going to tell her whatever he can to get the heat off of him. So I am going to get it from her as well. I really do not know what to do.
2006-08-06 01:39:29 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
I agree you should have told your husband sooner, but the fact remains...he should trust you and be by your side. If you did nothing to encourage this, you know in your heart you did nothing wrong. As long as your husband stands at your side, you will be OK, and I doubt that is going to happen with your neighbors. You do need to convince hubby not to seek revenge, that will only make matters worse. I feel the best thing to do is, just leave it alone, if you are confronted, you and hubby need to stand together and he needs to express to them his trust in you, period.
2006-08-06 01:48:07 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although it would have been smarter not to accept the number, phoning him and telling him you're not interested is not something you should be ashamed of. Your husband is naturally going to feel jealous. On the one hand he's got to be proud that you told him. On the other, he's afraid that maybe you did do something and now you're sort of confessing and trying to stop it. He's asking himself why you took the number, why you called him, how come you didn't tell him, why did you let it go on all that time, have you been flirting with him, etc. But the bottom line is that YOU came to your husband and told him. No matter what his fears about your loyalty are, he needs to respect that you didn't do anything and you told him the moment you felt it was something serious. He needs to manage his own insecurities and treat you as his wife, not his property. Tell your husband if he continues to treat you that way that you won't tell him a thing next time. write if you need someone to talk to.
Good luck.
just_a_guy_in_florida@yahoo.com
2006-08-06 08:58:22 · answer #2 · answered by just_a_guy_in_florida 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, while your hubby was right, you shouldn't have called him, he should know you well enough to know that you aren't lying about this. If he won't calm down, act like an adult, and be on your side then you are going to have to fight this alone. Sounds like your neighbor is a gigantic creep. Do you still have whatever he wrote his number down on? If so that could be your proof that he gave you his number, cause right now it's all heresay. The lady will recognize his handwriting and it will be the nail in his coffin. If not then the best you can do is to stick up for yourself no matter what they say. Sounds like you're a pretty good person. Don't let them make you feel otherwise!
2006-08-06 08:53:05 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to tell your husband that you tried to handle the situation the best you know how and it didn't work out, so you turned to your partner for help. I agree you shouldn't have called the pervert, but can understand too why you did. At least you tried to handle it over the phone , instead of in person. Don't let this pervert make you feel like the guilty one. He's the one that needs help! As far as his wife, she probably knows he's this way, just won't except it. You only have to live by them , not with them. You sound like a true partner ,trying to handle the problem, in a mature way
2006-08-06 08:53:39 · answer #4 · answered by 12nanny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men always will try to hit on women they perceive to be "hittable". So dont show any interest in him, such as getting his number, smiling at him, or talking to him, especially if you know already that the guy is into you. The best thing that you could have done is to just avoid him altogether. Some women can be naive as to the intentions of men. I can empathize with you. I dont know how you can resolve this since its already there. If you really havent done anything with him yet, then your husband should believe you or at least give you the benefit of a doubt. But you have to exert extra effort now to convince him, since the trust has somewhat been breached. Just be careful next time.
2006-08-07 18:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by freddy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess you did everything you could now.
You told your husband, a bit late I must admitt, but now just don't do anything else.
Since nothing happenned between you and your neighbor, this situation should be resolved soon. All depends on the maturity of the parties.
Just a little advice, next time something similiar happens, tell your husband as soon as it occurs.
Be nice & have a great day :)
2006-08-06 08:49:17 · answer #6 · answered by Nefertiti 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like it is something you are just going to have to face. There is no way of telling how the wife is going to react but I would see her blaming her husband more then you. You shouldnt have to worry about her to much and who knows maybe she will kick him out of the house and you wont have to worry about him anymore.
Another thing I am on your husbands side when it comes to you keeping it from him. It seems that he is partially mad because it happened and then because you were hiding it from him. Obviously all you can do with it now is take is as a lesson learned and try to regain his trust.
As a last resort is things get out of hand you can get a restraining order.
2006-08-06 08:48:32 · answer #7 · answered by JB 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did you accept his phone number in the first place. It makes you look guilty. If someone is hitting on you tell your husband and don't take any numbers, what ever you have to say, say it in that moment, like aren't you married, leave me alone. If I was your husband I would not trust you either because you accepted the phone number, it makes you look sneaky.
2006-08-06 08:46:46 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have apologised to your husband, so he should be understanding, I suggest you go to the guy's wife and explain to her what happened, tell her her is hitting on you when you have asked him to stop and not speak to you. You shouldn't have called the guy in the first place and should have told your husband straight away, but now the only thing you can do is explain to his wife and i guarantee you, he wont be hitting on you anymore, they might get a bit angry, but thats his problem for hitting on a married woman.
2006-08-06 08:48:03 · answer #9 · answered by Tina 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should of told your husband right away...that you want nothing to do with the guy and that he creeps you out...then i would of had a heart to heart with the neighbour's wife and tell her whats been going on behind her back...You shouldn't of accepted his cell number or called him. If I were you I'd move this guy sounds like a creep.
2006-08-06 08:45:55 · answer #10 · answered by xtcsathena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋