if someone you trusted called you white trash to your wife by mistake in an email what would you do?

Question

if someone you trusted called you white trash to your wife by mistake in an email(he inadvertenly sent it to my email adress instead of hers) what would you do. a quick synopsys. my brotherinlaw who i've known for 30yrs has been dissing me for years. my marriage is ready for the dr. phil show. I am a christian man with forgiving tendencies, but I cannot forgive him as a matter of fact I HATE HIM. I took this man and his wife for over 6 months for chemotherapy spent hundreds of dollars on gas and about 20-30 hours a week driving back and forth to the hospital. we vacationed at there home for 2 weeks they have spent many many vacations at our home. I thought this JERK was a friend but I was played big time. What would posess a person to make believe they like you(he should get an accademy award for this) and after all I did for him to bash me to my wife when he knows we are having great difficulty as it is? also my wife has done nothing to defend me should she? your answers are needed

Answer 1

Have you thought of the possibility that it was sent to you on purpose. Whether he was your friend or not, he is her brother first and if you and your wife are having problems then you have no idea what she is telling him. It sounds like her family is circling the wagons. You could try to talk to him about how he has hurt you or you could focus on the more important problem, your marriage. If it doesn't work out between you and your wife does it really matter.

Answer 2

Say nothing and go on with your life without him! It seems as though you have been so wrapped up in him and his wife that you don't have time for you or your wife! Focus on ur marriage...when you get the phone call just politely decline any help or company. You wont even have to tell him that you got the e-mail because after a couple weeks of ignoring him he will know.

Keep it going like this forever! Do not feel bad for him! You are not holding a grudge...you are simply choosing not to deal with a person who would do you harm. And their is nothing wrong with that.

Answer 3

Obviously, you just found you've been being used and manipulated it it hurts. You have every right to be angry.

Is this her brother who sent the email to you by mistake? Chances are, he's being "supportive" of her...and no, she isn't going to defend you..if your marriage is on the rocks.

You need to reply to his email...and tell him that you're very disappointed in him and that you believed you were actually friends. It's a sad thing to realize that he was only using you and taking advantage of you for the last 30 years. You need to point out to him that it says very little about his integrity as a human being that he would speak badly of you to your wife, and still pretend to be a friend. You need to also tell him that you're glad that it's out in the open, and you're certain that he can understand that you want no contact with him or his family.

Be polite. Don't vent your anger. Copy your wife on the email.

Not a good thing to find out, I know. Hang tough.

Answer 4

First off, be thankful for the person YOU are. Don't waste time nor energy on people like this. It sounds like your wife must be talking to him about your marriage. This is WRONG, but.... happens all the time. The thing is, you don't know what your wife has said to him for him to call you "white trash". This is the question you should be asking yourself right now. She had to have said something to him for him to respond this way out of anger. Don't hate though, hate only fuels fire and fire will get you no where. Easier said than done, I know, but wasting precious time on people like him is wasted. Better to confront your wife and ask her what she has been telling him, don't you think?......

Answer 5

I am basically kind hearted and even if I could or couldn't forgive the brother-in-law to offer peace to my spouse I would honor his request by not have any more contact with him. Its a positive thing when she did not agree with her brother. There could be many reasons why she did not say anything and one of them could be that her brother talks way louder that she does. I do hope things will work out.

Answer 6

That's life..The people you expect so much from, tend to disappoint you. I think the brother in law did not mistakenly send that email but wanted you to find out. Maybe you should write back and ask him why he has been calling you names and wait for his reply. Dont write a hate letter but sound like you never expected him to do it to you and your wife. Then end it with,,may God forgive you...LOL..as for your wife, maybe you should ask her why and tell her that it bothered you that she didnt even defend you. Good Luck and God Bless:)

Answer 7

You can't make your BIL change his thoughts of you. He sounds like a ungrateful jerk. You will show high character if you continue to be charitable, but don't let him play you like a sucker and get comfortable. You need to talk to your wife and express your feelings of not being defended by her. Being the bigger man can be difficult, but it's up to you to decide if it's worth it.

Answer 8

i could ensue yet attempt to stay faraway from her the full time. if it rather is important call the bride and groom in basic terms before time and ask if which you are going to be seated a techniques faraway from her because of fact maximum weddings have assigned seating. On genuine of that park your automobile a techniques away possibly even take a cab or in basic terms park a mile or 2 away and walk something of a thank you to the marriage. i does not difficulty too badly because of fact maximum folk could throw somebody out of a church or a marriage in the event that they're battling. regardless of if, i could recommend emailing her in basic terms before time and tell the ex the full fact and say you do in comparison to her, you do not desire to be along with her, and you do not desire to have any touch along with her. She could desire to get the factor regardless of if she is amazingly stupid because of fact it has worked for Jerry Springer instruct travelers.

Answer 9

Life is too short to waste your time worrying about this creep. Write them off...you have done your Christian duty by helping them thru their illness. This is their problem....not yours. I would have a serious talk with my wife about where her loyalty lies. Open the communications gap and good luck.

Answer 10

hey. (dont mind maddog, he has always been mean)

well, that was tough and i sympathize. this is what i would do if i werein your shoe:

1) print the email
2) go see the Judas incarnate
3) shove the paper to his sorry face
4) tell him how much I spent on his chemo (or his wife) so he wouldnt die, which he deserves by the way
5) talk to my wife, talk about his brother
6) decide after the talk.