what will i do to get away from the person i suddenly feel unease with?

Question

i have a companion in school(she's my classmate in all subj.we're in college)and happens to be my highschool mate(she's a girl then)so basically she's the only person i know in our section(this was how we got a littlecloser).I suddenly feel unease w/ her when our classmates teased us that we're dating & that was when it suddenly hit me that she's a tomboy.i was so shocked and i wanted to get away from her.i never really noticed the transition though i noticed slight changes but i never gave any meaning to it until what had happened(the teasings)and the fact that it's just the two of us together(coz my friends are in different section and have different sched)eating lunch,going to d library,etc.this is really the time i give attention to all the changes that happened 2 her and she's really a tomboy(i hate tomboy,i just do,ok!)she acts,talks,dresses like a boy/man and the way she looks at others.how will i tell her how i feel coz it's hard 2 confront her and i don't want to hurt her?

Answer 1

Find out what she/he is bothered most by in a friendship/relationship and become that person or smuther her(not literally)always get in her space.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

Teasings from peers are awkward, this I do understand, even though I'm from the female side. Probably she's also feeling weird too... If she likes you, this will be a good time to establish a relationship.

But since you already decided you dont want her as a gf, why not treat her like a buddy, I mean, like another boy that you enjoy hanging out with...After all, buddies are buddies, just friends that makes life smooth and fun, no stress...

I bet since the 2 of u have similiar schedules in college, there should be a lot of private time together. Find one chance and heart to heart talk with her, and let's try to imagine what ifs:
1) what if she is a true tomboy and has no feeling about you,
--->she'll laugh it off and give you a pat on the shoulder and tell you to relax...things will go fine...
2) what if she is a tomboy and has some feelings for you,
--->she'll try to console you and swallow back her feelings and just fade away from your life...you achieve your initial objective
3) what if she is not really a tomboy, just pretending to prevent you from getting ideas...
---> she'll be very relieved to know you are not interested, probably slowly drifts away from you...world peace....
4) what if she really really likes you,
---> she might try to change herself to suit you...either way both of you gets upset eventually...unless you decide you like her afterall...

To really not "confront and hurt" her...maybe you can find extra activities that she can't join in, to fit into the timings...she'll eventually find other friends and start a new life...

These are just some silly opinions of mine...decide it yourself...yahoo answers cant really help solve real life problems.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with a Tomboy. That is a female who can do just about as much as a male can do, and not have to put up with the crap from the males. They are still feminine and like to wear nice things. A Butch however no run get away, those are the lesbians, if you do not want in that world get out.
I am a Tom Boy, and I have been married 32 years and going strong. I have fun helping him with fixing the car, and lawn work, remodeling etc. A female really needs to know how to do those things, so when she is without a man, she can take care of herself. I hate females who bit*h because they broke a nail, or gezzz I got dirty. Those are the helpless ones with a lost cause.

Answer 5

Hm...Wow tough and harsh. Well the thing that really caught my attention was the line that said "(i hate tomboy,i just do,ok!)". People can't really help how they act. I know I'm one myself, my mom tries to change me and it sucks.And it's wrong to try to change that about someone or suddenly feel uneasy around them for something s trivial as that matter. If you two are friends (true friends not the ones who will drop each other to become popular and etc.) Then you wouldn't want to trade your friendship for the world. Yeah you can talk to her about being uneasy. But how would she feel? If that's "her"....Her true self, then why feel uneasy? She's your mate right? But all I'm pretty much saying is give it a chance, maybe hold off before bringing up the subject. See if after some time you become used to it.

Answer 6

Maybe if you had some self confidence, and a little integrity you wouldnt let it bother you. This is the most blatantly 'superficial and proud of it' attitude ever.

You obviously place a lot of weight on what other people think of you. Why don't you ask them what you should do... seems like you are absolutely weak yourself, and if that is how you are thinking, you don't deserve friends.

Maybe you try should to be a decent and nice person.

You will hurt her feelings, because you are about to do a hurtful thing.

If this was from a 13 year old it would be understandable.

Answer 7

You weren't bothered by this until people teased you and focused your attention on it. Until then, she was your good friend, right? I would ignore the teasing--when they ask if you're dating, just say, "No; we're just friends." Sometimes, there's nothing you can do about rumors; are you going to let jerks ruin anotherwise good friendship?

As for the tomboy thing--I'm not up on all the slang, but I assume you mean the masculing person in a lesbian pair. Can you be "just friends" with a hetero male? Then you can also be friends with a lesbian. . .right?

If that bothers you but you would still be friends with her if you didn't know, then maybe you should address it: "Look, I really like you and want to keep being friends, but this really bothers me. Can we work it out? Even if we can't be friends, I want you to know that I wish you well and will do you no harm."

Answer 8

I hate to be in your situation. I wish i could give you a better answer but i personally think that you should tell her the truth, That hanging out with her is really making you uncomfortable. And that you dont have anything against lesbians but hanging out with them is just not your thing. Tell her that the constant teasing has really affected you and that you cant just handle it right now with school and all. If you cant tell it to her face maybe a letter would be best. Good Luck and Hope you find another friend soon:)

Answer 9

Tke her out on a romantic but not soooo romantic date. See how things go. If you sill want to breakup with this "tomboy" Then gently tell her.... Go to the park or sumthing after your date and tell her KINDLY AND SWEETLY that it just isnt right. If she starts to cry comfort her and say it is ok. But she isnt the one. If she slaps you... Well just say.. Somthing like you bit** I try to b nice and what the hell do i get? Then you have a evn better reason to breakup with her. But DON'T try 2 do this! Best of luck and Wishes! :)

Answer 10

make up a good lie like u dont wanna be in a relationship right now cause u have to focus on school work, or something sad so she wouldnt flip out, her bein a tomboy she might bust ur lip