how do i get my (soon to be x-wife) to stop yelling at me and hear me out?

Question

i cant get a word in edge-wise,she doesnt believe a word i say and now she filed a restraining order against me and i cant even see my kids.she is cleaning our house out,stereo,computer,tv's,all the pictures off the walls,etc......she wont answer any phone calls,and when she does all we do is yell at each other.i now live at my shop and really miss my family!!its my fault for cheating to begin with,but i dont think i should loose everything!

Answer 1

She probably feels you should lose lots of things because she lost a husband.

Answer 2

It is unlikely that you will get a sympathetic answer to your question though you deserve it because - from among the millions who would remain secretive about the issue of their being the ones who started the whole thing by going astray - you stated that it was your fault honestly and bravely.
Women will never ever understand either the fact of your having gone astray or that you were honest in acknowledging that it was your fault. Women are focussed on their husbands because the husband is generally the provider and the woman is generally the one who maintains the little family unit by utilizing whatever resources available to the family either from the mans income or the womans income - both clubbed into a single thing because the family is a single UNIT. Seeing another enter the unit is like an agressor crossing the sanctity of the borders of the family unit. A single breach of the walls may be only the beginning of a flood of aggressors. And the man of the house may be led away from his little tribe leaving them defenceless to face the hard brutal world of merciless aggressors.
As such - while there is time - and because you love your family which would include your wife - ask the court to allow a meeting with your wife with a suitable chaperon or an arbitrator - and during the meeting (if you get one) - work out an acceptable settlement keeping the needs of the children foremost in your mind - and leave the rest to destiny ...
All the best
PS - Knowing women - it is unlikely that she will ever stop yelling at you - so do with your ears what Nelson did with his eye - he turned a blind eye to the signal to retreat and you turn a deaf ear to the yellings with a bland smile on your face always ...

Answer 3

It's called "reaping what you sow". Yes it's painful, the future looks bleak right now, but if you truly are reticent, and not just sorry you got caught, you're going to just have to endure this for a while if there's going to be any chance of a future with your family.

But a restraining order? She can't get that just because you cheated, sounds like there's far more to this story than you're saying. If you've tacked on some sort of physical violence against her, then you need to get your insides figured out before even attempting to communicate with your family again. If this is the case and you really do love them, it is in everyone's best interest that you stay out of their lives for a time, until you can get yourself back on track and show your kids the father and parent they need.

Answer 4

You had something good, then you were and idiot and you through it all away... she was looking after your house and kids, and you were off screwing other women...

Give her a while to calm down. She has every right to be mad at you.

If things get too bad, you may need to go to a lawyer and get some sort of visiting rights arranged, so you can still see your kids.

No matter what an a***** you have been, no child should be denied the right to see their father (assuming he is not dangerous!). The judging can come when they are older, not be decided by the other parent.

Answer 5

Some how I don;t think the family court took her say-so on these issues..they require proof. If it's a mental or emotional disability with your daughter she can still function but also be disabled. A driver's lisence and several jobs (sounds like she can't keep a job-why?) is no proof of fraud. My husband is legally disabled (diabetics are considered disabled) however he does work full time. I am functioning but because of an immune system arthritis and osteo-arthritis, Reynauds Syndrome, IBS attacks, bursitis in both hips and shoulders, and require a cane I am unable to work so I retired. You will need to prove your daughter has no health (mental or physical issues) and ditto with the ex-wife.

Answer 6

Dude....Wake up call....

You need to hire yourself and attorney!!! File for the divorce. Get your petition on file and a court order restraining her from moving marital properties etc. This will also give you a temporary order for visitation with your children. (DON"T DISCUSS YOUR CRAP with these children) Your children have been thru enough watching MOM/DAD make a$$'$ out of themselves with their dumba$$ behaviour and name calling!

You say you have an OOP (order of protection) filed against you? DUDE wake up call......you shouldn't be calling this person ....you are harrassing her!!!

The yelling and screaming serve no purpose...What kind of example behavior are you displaying in front the children. ARE YOU NUTS!!!

Let the courts sort out your CRAP. At least this would keep her from wiping you totally out and taking you to the cleaners!! You do have rights especially if you reside in a NO fault divorce or community property STATE. Anything she took or made disappear will have to be financially affidavitted and made reappear. this even includes savings, $$$$ taken from a joint account etc.

I read some of the responses above......You have an OOP on file....****don't call her, don't write her, don't visit her, don't stalk her, don't be on the other side of street viewing the house!!! YOu do any of those things you'll find yourself in the back of a patrol car and a night in the JAIL HOUSE!!!

Answer 7

Aint that just like a birch of a woman? All you did was lie to her, betray her trust, cheat on her, break your marital vows, and put her at risk of AIDS, and she makes a big deal out of it. The birtch. Won't even let you have a chance to explain that you only cheated, cuz you didn't expect her to find out- what a bitrch. Now, you're gonna lose you home and family, and she won't even listen to you. Damm beitch! I feel for you. She doesn't deserve a prince like you. And, you'll end up paying child support- the greedy betch!!! Well, I agree with you, you shouldn't lose everything. You should keep the memory of how YOU wrecked your marriage, harmed your children, and cost yourself the life you had with her and your kids.

Answer 8

If she has a restraining order out against you,your not suppose to have any contact with her,keep doing this and you'll be in jail soon.Since your the one who tore up the marriage it's only natural for her to the upset with you to the point that she would destroy everything you own.But try to understand this:you destroyed her world by doing what you did,no sense in being materialistic now.Get your divorce,and start over.And by all means get a lawyer so you can still see your kids.Good luck to you.

Answer 9

Have you ever thought that maybe she wants you to feel the pain that you have voluntarily shown her? Cheating on your spouse is the worst you can do in a marriage besides physical or mental abuse. Cheating is actually mental & emotional abuse. Do you expect her to just let you say what you want? You should have told her how you felt before you had sex outside your marriage. People need to realize marriage is sacred. If you dont want to respect your marriage or your life partner why be with them?

Answer 10

Well.......... she is super angry. You did cheat. Sounds like she is not going to forgive and forget. She will have to calm down sooner or latter so you can see your children at least. You may have to get the ball rolling on that with a lawyer asap for it to change. She is deeply hurt, her anger is coming out. Sorry for you that you did this. I know how you feel.

Answer 11

Be true at u're heart. calm down and go yo her wid floers and chocolates .Let her yell at u wid full extent cuz she has the full right to do so.Explain her each and every part of u're life to her be calm at u're side don't get frustrated it won't help.Be cool tempered,tell her how much u love her,admire her and be sure to be honest at the fullest extent Show u're guilt and ask 4 forgiveness.Don't show the slightest remark of agitation.Say that u r sorry to her and that how much u love them (u're kids and wife).ALL THE BEST