im 19..had a son that passed away 2 years ago..am i too young to try again?

Question

it bothers me alot to know that i could have a son just learning to talk..and do lots of things..i really want another and i feel as if im ready..i have a great bf, although i just lost my job, i think we can make it (im going to school this year for nursing) what do u think? (i dont want to be an old boring mother) lol thats besides the point

Answer 1

It's not a matter of whether you are too young but rather if you're not ready financially, spiritually and emotionally. Judging by your statement, you should wait. It would be wise to see a counselor perhaps from planned parenthood to talk about your loss and help you with future plans. You and your baby would be better off once you finish school, and hopefully wait until you're married or in a stable long-term committed relationship with your own apartment or house. You can never fill the void of a child with another one. It's not fair to the child either to have to live for someone else when they should be able to have their own life. You have plenty of time to have a child. If you do, you will end up looking back and wishing you had done this or that before having one. Children are a lifetime responsibilty, not just when you feel like playing with them. Because when you meet other young people your age who want to go out, go places and do things together, you won't be able to and you'll begin to feel resentment and regret and that is also unfair to the child. Have fun with school and work after you graduate. Each stage of life is new and exciting and will come on it's own in due time. You have another chance to do things right, the way God intended.

Answer 2

I am so very sorry for your loss. You will never forget your son and while the sadness will become part of the mix of emotions you feel in your life, it really won't ever go away. You'll always think of what he would be and could be doing. There may not be any comfort in that, but I doubt you'd want to forget him.

But having another baby will not take that pain away either. It sounds like you are not in a very good position to start a family right now. A boyfriend is not someone who is very likely to be around in your life. I know that marriages end too, but a marriage is entered into with the intention of being for life. Your new child should have as good a chance as possible to have both parents in his or her life permanently.

You are beginning a new course of study that will give you a great opportunity to eventually get a job that will give you and your child security and stability. Give yourself a chance to get things in place before you welcome a baby into your life.

And as for being old and boring? I started having my children when I was not too much older than you are and had a fourth -- somewhat unexpected -- baby when I was 37. I am less boring now than when I was young and busy with the business of being young and learning. Being boring isn't something that automatcially comes with age; it's something that comes when you close your mind to the great things that are possible in the world and close your mind to new experiences. I am happier and "younger" and more interesting than I was 'way back then. I listen to the music that my children do (and the music that they don't) and my house is open to their friends because in my maturity I know that kids need a place to hang out even more than I need to have a perfect house.

Enjoy every part of your life--it's a wonderful gift.

Answer 3

First, I would suggest getting married. It is very comforting knowing the father of your child will always be there. Second, go to school. Get that out of the way. Children are a blessing, but they take a lot of attention. I had my kids young, too, so it can be done, but it is very tough hearing that your friends are going out and you can't because you can't find a babysitter. Do what you want to do in life before you have children. Once you have that beautiful little boy or girl, your life will change completely. Be prepared to devote 100% of your time and energy to raising them. Do you think you are ready for that? The rest is up to you. Good luck.

Answer 4

Im 18 with 2 so personally I dont think your to young.If you feel that your ready to have a baby and start a family then go for it.Its up to you and your bf.I know you'll never get over your son but put it behind you so you can enjoy the next one just like you would have him.

Answer 5

hello dearest, yes i guess with regards to all the things going on in ur life now, (lost job, going back to school), i guess now is not the time to think of having a baby... for one, im sure u are aware that raising a child and studying, esp nursing course would give u a difficult time..also if u plan to marry ur bf, would mean having a husband too that somehow would require ur time too( relationships require time spent together for it to grow). u have to be wonderwoman to be able to do everything with flying colors!.how else can u hav time for urself? and how about expenses? is ur bf ready to provide for u and ur kid if u hav one now? i guess now is not the best time to hav baby, pursue ur education, then get job, hav a family...well this is just me talking... have a pleasant day dear..hope i was able to help

Answer 6

if you are going to school to study nursing - I think you should focus on that - its a great career and can be a great benefit to your life, but it requiers a great deal of dedication taht you will NOT be able to afford as a mother to a newborn.

honestly, at nineteen - having a child is going to preclude you from a lot of opportunities. I'm sorry about your son but please - get your nursing ticket, then you can have your next child AND enjoy maternity leave and benefits AND have an excellent career to return to when you are ready.

Answer 7

It depends. Are you financially ready for a child? I don't think 19 is too young, depending on certain things. Remember girls used to be popping kids out from the time they were 12.

Answer 8

It would probably be best if you were married and knew for a fact, and not just THINK, you can make it. You have to make your decision based on what would be best for the baby.

You are going to be busy with school. Wait until you are done with that, then decide.

LOL ~ Older moms are hardly boring!

Answer 9

sorry for your lost, consult your doctor, i would wait to have a baby after you get your schooling out of the way,make sure you can be supportive on your own,that will cover you if relationship fails be prepared,enjoy life until then and be happy, it is a lot of sacrifice for children you are to enjoy having the baby not worrying how to support the baby etc. you will know when you can have a family be patient, first things first, GOOD LUCK.

Answer 10

I know how you feel but wait till your married and ready for a child. lots of young people loose children because their bodies just were not mature enough at the time I know it hurts but don't have one to fill the void that will happen in good time. good luck