I broke up with my gf of 3 years because i was confused and needed to figure things out. I told her this. I called her every night while we were broke up to tell her i loved her, we would go out 2 times a week. I would hang out with my friends alot and go to clubs. I talked to other girls but never more than a friend. I never did anything sexual with anyone. 2 months in, i found out she went on a date with someone. the next day i told her how much i loved her and that i made a mistake and i only wanted to be with her. She ignored it and a week later had slept with the guy. FYI he was a total sleeve bag that used girls and already had one pregnant. After she figured out that she got used she comes back to me, she says she did it cause she thought it would make her realize that she didnt want to be with me, cause i hurt her. I think she did it just to get revenge on me.i hate it the most cause i told her that i messed up but it didnt matter. We WERE the only people each other hadbeenwith
2006-08-05 22:24:38 · 17 answers · asked by 2nice 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
some really good answers so far. thanks everyone
2006-08-06 08:00:24 · update #1
Yes. You created the situation that led her to sleep with someone else. You broke up with her, you, the only guy she'd been with. That can really ruin a girl's self-esteem and sense of identity, especially when you've been with the guy for 3 years. She had to assume you broke up with her so that you could see other people. That's what breaking up usually means. You said you went out with your friends alot. She's probably thinking you're looking for someone new, so she did the best she could to get over you. So that involved sleeping with someone else. That's on you. You broke her and she tried to fix herself any way she could. So he was a jerk. That's kind of your fault, too, because she probably went for the first guy who asked (read above about how you probably ruined her self-esteem and sense of self). She was trying to get over you because you broke up with her and broke her heart. She went on one date and you said you wanted her back. She probably didn't believe you b/c you probably said something about always being together and then you go and break up with her. She's now got trust issues. Also on you. She's probably more traumatized about sleeping with this jerk than you are. The question is, will she ever forgive you for putting her through this crap? She's done nothing wrong that requires forgiveness.
2006-08-05 22:37:02 · answer #1 · answered by mytreacheryiseternal 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think you became to dependant on each other. Usually when you break up you don't continue calling each other or going out this is still a relationship. Ur ex gf should of been honest with you right from beginning, I think you have outgrown each other, but care but are afraid of the outside world as you only ever had each other.Shes made the move new life time you did aswell. you will never forget what she has done, it would always come between you if you were to remain together. trust is important in a relationship once broken is hard to repair.
2006-08-06 05:33:43 · answer #2 · answered by a mother 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If U know/believe U could ever B happy, settled & content with her. Let it go, huh?
Have another long, long chat, get it all out in the open & try 2 C the best in each other from now on.
She sounds like she was confused when she slept with the FYI (what is that by the way? I'm a brit & I've never heard of that!)
Women sometimes do the oddest things.
2006-08-06 05:32:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bottom line is, you left her. Technically, that means that you two were not actually an item. Just because you didn't do anything with anyone else, doesn't mean that she couldn't.
She is a single woman. If she says you hurt her by leaving her, you did. It didn't matter that you called to say you love her. What kind of mind game is that? On one hand, "I'm leaving". On the other hand, "Don't see anyone else, and keep yourself only for me, the one who left".
What's that? If she had done the same to you, would she be able to blame you? When you play mind games like that, make sure you both have the rulebook.
2006-08-06 05:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by classyjazzcreations 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like you're both young and confused. That's not a dig, it's the normal state of affairs for young people like yourselves.
I'd say that you should forgive her actions in this case because:
A) She was honest with you when questioned.
B) Showed obvious confusion as to why she did it (during your breakup), and from what you're saying...
C) Sounds honestly sorry for hurting you AND herself.
Both of you should learn from this experience that you truly want to be together and neither of you should hold the other's indecisiveness against the other because it'll only hurt your relationship in the longrun.
It doesn't sound like it'll happen again from what you've said here. It sounds like it took her making a huge mistake to realize you're the one she really wanted all along.
Good luck! :)
2006-08-06 05:35:34 · answer #5 · answered by this_isridiculous 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
a long time ago i was in a similar situation. my husband and i 10 years ago were dating and we were also together for a few years and he broke it off with me. in hindsight i think he was freaked out b/c we were so young and our relationship was so serious. anyway, he did the same...he went to work, he flirted with girls, he went on double dates with his brother, etc.... but he still called to tell me he was thinking of me and stuff. well i had begged him for us to get back together, i was heartbroken he felt like i was suffocating him, that he was too young and confused to be settled down. i was vulnerable. i met this guy who said all the right things, and i slept with him. before this guy me and boyfriend had only been with eachother. when he found out he was heartbroken, and i was so afraid he would not take me back but also the truth is he broke up with me, what did he think i still belonged to him???? this is something you should think about. your girlfriend was confused, you did hurt her by breaking up, and i'm sure she thinks she made a mistake and didn't really wanna sleep with that guy. if you love her, you can work it out. my boyfriend and i did and we are married with a family today. we got together at 16 and now we are still together 12 years later! contact me if you have any questions or need advice on this okay, good luck.
2006-08-06 05:33:45 · answer #6 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Easy to answer,for me atleast..Absolutely,Positively,NOT!!
That is the worst feeling in the world.The betrayal and hurt that you will always remember is what makes it so unforgivable to me.You will always have a suspicious feeling in your heart and mind,no matter how hard you try not to.In the long run it causes resentment,hatred,and sometimes even self loathing,even if you are not the one who cheated...You may be able to forgive them outwardly but on the inside you will never forgive or forget and that can destroy you as a person and make some even go nuts.It is NOT worth it in the long run...
2006-08-06 05:41:40 · answer #7 · answered by Iceis81 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, that shud be a short sharp lesson NOT to play games, especially with the ones you love
I'm sorry this has happened, I really am, but communication is always best - not 'tests' etc
Try talkin to her again... and good luck
Why don't more ppl talk???
2006-08-06 05:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Annalyse 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she really needed time to figure things out herself. Now that she realises she really wants u, take her back.... She'll appreciate u more for this.
I believe every problem starts from urself. So, dont create more heartache for u n her since u love her too...
2006-08-06 05:29:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you made a mistake and she forgave you now it is your turn to forgive her. Yes people do some crazy things when they are rejected by the one they love.
2006-08-06 05:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by Alone again 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋