I met this lady on the net just recently. During our conversations, I sensed that there was something wrong and she was hiding it from me. As a christian, I believe in the truth. I kept on asking her to be honest and she sworn that all that she was telling me was nothing else but the truth. As an African, and coming from a good background, likewise being able to know if someone is telling the truth or just telling lies, I continued to know the truth from her. Though she said she is a christian, but I saw that all what she was telling me was lies. After putting presure on her, she came out telling me the truth that I wanted to know. Later, to my surprise, she told me that she is HIV POSITIVE and taking medication. To you all, should I continue talking to her? I have great interest in her, but looking at all lies that she've told me, I am wondering, if I should continue talking to her. Again, she continue to be not too much honest, she keep on lying and later apologising.
2006-08-05 20:59:19 · 20 answers · asked by Abban 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Totally up to you. I will say this: People on the net tend to lie. A lot. So I'm sure if we're just talking about online cummunities you should get use to people lying to you. Another thing is that although you were right about her lying, I wouldn't push people too hard over the intnernet when you think they're holding something back. It's one thing to call 'bullshit' on someone who's telling you. It's another to sense something out of nothing. The keyboard acts as a strong filter when you're online. Sometimes things get lost in the text. Ofcourse it worked out that you were very right this time so I hope you don't take my last bit of advice too much to heart. As far as her being positive. Well that's a shame, to put it lightly. I, personally, wouldn't pursue her for a physical relationship aftering hearing that. Ofcourse, I don't know if that's what you were after with her or not. If you were just after a friend/acquaintance than I guess it's up to you. Just remember, she did lie, but she lied about something that is the very curse of her existance probably. Think of all the people that look at her different every time she tells them this. All the people that recoil from her when she says it in person. I'm not saying she was right to lie. I'm just saying I understand why she would.
2006-08-05 21:06:21 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tony think about it. If you must, think about it from a Christian point of view and what would Jesus do?
This woman needs people who will accept her for who and what she is not whether she is totally honest or not. No one is, get over it.
If you have an interest in continuing the talks then do so. If you want to show her real Christian love that would be the thing for you to do wouldn't it.
Your Lord and Saviour would not turn his back on someone in her place and I doubt you are better than Jesus was. Give her a chance to open up and find out that yes, you will be there even when she lies to you, accept her apologies and move on, sooner or later she will stop them because she will have learned she can trust you.
2006-08-09 20:53:32 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was probably just ashamed of her situation... if you are a good Christian you will forgive her. We are all human and make mistakes, but if her lying persists I wouldn't continue a relationship with her... Romantic or friendly. You really shouldn't be to angry at her for not telling you she was HIV Positive, she was probably ashamed and didn't want to lose you by telling you that she was... The other lies MAY have been to cover that one. Her telling you the truth shows that she genuinely cares for you. Christians forgive! Good Luck!
2006-08-05 21:10:44 · answer #3 · answered by Nikki 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Regardless of how much you like her, she's dishonest. You've said it yourself, she keeps on lying and later apologising. I can understand her reluctance to admit she is HIV+ but the fact is that regardless of her HIV status, she's not honest with you. Do you really want to get involved with a woman who is dishonest and also HIV+? For your own emotional and physical safety, just keep her as an online friend. There are plenty of women out there who will share your values (i.e. honesty).
2006-08-05 21:17:20 · answer #4 · answered by Sun is Shining ❂ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well considering the gravitiy of the illness, i think she was right to be hesitant to tell you. Its hard for someone who has HIV to make friends because people are off put by the disease. There is nothing in talking to a person. I think it would be a good idead to continue talking to her through this terrible period in her life. Be her friend, i think she needs that and will need that for the future. Be there for her. Tell her she does not need to lie to you because you are her friend and your going to run away if you hear the truth. Make her feel comfortable in telling you things becaue obviously she is going through a very difficult time in her life. Pray for her.
2006-08-05 21:12:47 · answer #5 · answered by omsuperhoops 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to understand that while HIV is being let out in the open, there are a lot of people who are predjudiced about it, So she's probably just protecting her emotions and dignity by hiding facts to you. Still, if you feel you dont trust her enough, then tell her you find if hard to continue being friends with her constant lying to you, and if she is adamant about it, say goodbye.
2006-08-05 21:05:12 · answer #6 · answered by rn_md 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey she already admitted she was HIV +ve to you, what more can you ask of her? it takes a tremendous amount of effort on her part to type those few simple keys and send the message over to you.
all her friends have left her when they found out, and others who met her also found out also left her, so dont be so upset when she keeps telling lies to you, try to understand her situation if you know what i mean. pray for her be there when she needs you dont be like the others and leave her
tell her that it is alright for her to be truthful to you and that you will always be there for her. tell her that being HIV +ve doesnt mean that you 2 cant be friends. that way she might have more confident in you and open up more over time. but always keep in mind that she can get emotional at times and try to understand and console her.
that aside, start looking out for other women out there. i am sure there are many women out there that are single and STD free...good luck
2006-08-06 02:08:08 · answer #7 · answered by rulewell 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
C'mon, give the girl a chance. At least she has told you now. She has obviously, & quite rightly, taken time to get to know you before she told you. It's not something that she wants shouted from the rooftops to any Tom, Dick or Harry.
You should be proud of her for telling you - proud that she trusts you enough to know.
But be aware that not all friendship or relationships found on the net, actually work out.
Good luck :-)
2006-08-05 21:10:20 · answer #8 · answered by MISS B.ITCH 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she lies to u as she dont want to loose u at any cost and she later tells u the truth when she feels that u know what she told u is a lie. at any cost she needs u very badly. dont leave her alone. be a good friend of hers and comfort her.
2006-08-06 01:01:59 · answer #9 · answered by annmaria1976 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it wouldn't be the first thing you tell someone is it, if you had a terminal disease.... hi my names...xxx and I'm HIV positive... you gotta get to know someone first.... so that one you should just forgive her for.
If she's lying about other stuff too then probably not worth talking to her....
2006-08-05 21:09:54 · answer #10 · answered by Ellie29UK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋