Me and this friend of mine have been friends for 11 years or so and I don't feel like she cares like a true friend should.She is married with a child from a different man and he has been nothing but good to her but she cheated on him with his bestfriend..Now I am starting to wonder if she would do that to me also.She says she feels really bad for it but it took her getting caught to ever fess up to doing it in the first place.Any guy I ever brought over to hang out with she always insisted on making conversation that didn't really include me.She would keep eyecontact with him and him only as if almost trying to flirt.She is very insecure and asked me to ask my boyfriend what he thought of her body and to ask him if he thought she had a nice butt.I was like no I won't ask him..I can't believe she asked me to ask him that.She'd mightas'well have asked him herself..What kindof friend is she???She knew I was intrested in these guys I would bring over but she insisted on having attention.
2006-08-05 19:40:37 · 11 answers · asked by Yourbestbet 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Sometimes its hard to know what is best to do in any given set of circumstances, but she's not apt to change, as she's obviously been around you for 11 years and hasn't. You have two options of ending the "friendship". 1) Cut it. Tell her you've tried to talk to her about her ways with your boyfriends, etc., and she's not getting the message, so no more interaction and the effect it has on you is being unhealthy. 2.) She needs help. You're there to help her as a friend, but not at the expense of your own relationships and that as much as you feel friendships should have trust, it's a boundary she consistently crosses and either she stays on her side of the line or she leaves you no choice but to choose to end the friendship. With this option, you've allowed some choices to be made and it sounds as though you may have already went this route and 1) may be your only alternative. But it's also needful to remember a woman scorned ... because she can cause you a great deal of grief if the friendship failure is made to feel like it is totally her fault for not setting and expecting established boundaries to be kept, etc. So, really sit down and plan out calmly how you want to handle the situation - even to the point of role reversal in conversation to see if that catches her attention. She's obviously very insecure and needy and possibly competitive. But you can only choose how to establish your boundaries and set them and then not allow others to cross them, assuring them it's their choice to end the friendship when they do cross them. Good luck, it's sticky call.
2006-08-05 19:58:06 · answer #1 · answered by dph_40 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
shes obviously not a very good person and needs alot of attention dont dump her as a friend but sit and talk to her saying that her actions are realy shady and innappropriate u should also slowly start moving on from this friendship. i dont think u should end the friendship but move away from the harmful things its likeley to cause
2006-08-06 02:47:18 · answer #2 · answered by Louisa S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats the kind of friend you dont need, thats for sure. Her behavior obviously bothers you and I dont see that changing over night. Just remember, you dont have to put up with anything you dont want to and that includes friends.
2006-08-06 02:52:05 · answer #3 · answered by gigi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would want out of that friendship, too.
it sounds like she doens't know how to look out for what's best for you because she doens't understand the boundary of not drawing attention to herself from your boyfriend.
....it's sad, because she probably can't help it and may not even fully realize what she's doing....she may really have no clue that it's inappropriate, but you cannot help her. probably the only thing that will get her attention is the hard knocks of life or Jesus' intervening.
2006-08-06 02:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by debbie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this behaviour is based on her insecurity and seems to need reassurance that she is attractive, but she is hurting your friendship. friends like this should be kept at arms length, "ween" her like a bad drug, suggest you go out for dinner- like once a month, where it is just the 2 of you, no men or interuptions!
2006-08-06 02:49:41 · answer #5 · answered by lisa s 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's the kind of girlfriend I like for all my friends to have.
Of course, you can't trust her, so I would not consider her my friend. But, she is good for entertainment purposes.
2006-08-06 02:45:44 · answer #6 · answered by Left the building 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her you do not wish to be her friend anymore.
You do not need toxic "friends" like that in your life.
You can do bad by yourself.
2006-08-06 02:46:48 · answer #7 · answered by Adyghe Ha'Yapheh-Phiyah 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i stopped reading about half way through your question. do you think maybe you could keep your questions more concise? to answer your question lose the b*tch.
2006-08-06 02:49:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is a BIT*H! go on, get a knife, stealth-walk behind her and stab her atleast 20 times
2006-08-06 02:47:59 · answer #9 · answered by Everlost 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
RUN!!!! You'll be single as long as your friends with this one!
2006-08-06 02:48:03 · answer #10 · answered by Delaiah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋