PLEASE READ::: I will try and keep this short and simple, but hear me through. My girl lives in NY, I live in CA. Im in college, shes still in highschool. Me 20, her 18. ok? I have told my parents about her and they well, werent to supportive about a long distant relationship. Like most people are. Now my question is how my g/f should come about saying that she has a b/f in CA. She comes from a different family, her parents are divorced, mine arent. Shes a girl, and of course her mom will be very protective over her daughter , my parents were like, whatever, do what you want, as long as your not getting some girl pregnant, thats what matters. Not exactly that, but that kind of attitude. She says her mom would freak out, but i want her mom to know about me. Cause i can never call when i want to, we always have to keep it a secret, and once school comes around again like we have done b4, we will have to cut our calling time to like 2 times a week. Plz help, i really love this girl.
2006-08-05 18:45:55 · 20 answers · asked by 96.7 KCAL ROCKS!!! 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'd tell her how you feel, if she really loves you then she wont care what her mom thinks....
2006-08-05 18:49:46 · answer #1 · answered by Chaysee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all, if her mom is protective, she should like the fact that her daughters b/f is 3000 miles away, not next door. I dont really understand why she would "freak out," but if she does have a problem with it, the best thing for your g/f to do is to be honest with her mom and tell her how she feels about you. Some parents are too selfish to allow their grown up kids to be happy, but most will just try to caution them and then let them follow their hearts. I mean the girl is 18, right? If she has a mom who is so controlling, she's gonna have to stand up for herself sometime, right? And if you two are really in love, she can't let that go just because of how her mom feels. A side note: don't let people discourage you about long distance relationships... true, there is a small percent that work out, but you will find a way to make it work if you are really good for each other.
2006-08-05 18:58:58 · answer #2 · answered by tok913 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Has she even asked her mom about having a boyfriend or a friend? My parents were like that as well. She may want to talk to her mom about her mom past and mom high experiences...and then start chatting about you and how she likes you....parent always think that your to young to know love...so say the words like. Start of small...like this relationship is just the beginning and then work your way in. Even better, when they learn that your miles away, they will feel better that your not near her to get her PG or anything like that. I hope you guys find away to do this. It's not easy but if you are ment to be...everything will come together. Note: it may also not be the right time for you and her to be together. However, I wish you the best.
Mari
2006-08-05 18:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by M V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, all i can say is talk to her mom and if don't understand keep trying and trying. Make her understand that you are in love with her daughter and just do whatever you can to show her how you really feel and don't let the long distance relationship get in the way. Work something out and it will be ok
2006-08-05 18:57:36 · answer #4 · answered by Mill 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would her mother freak out? She's 18 and old enough to do what she likes. Besides, her mother should like her boyfriend being far away. If you really love her and she really loves you it will work out. But know now that it's hard being apart. And you are both young, not to mean that you don't love her any less because you are young. My fiancee and I lived 200 miles apart at the beginning of our relationship and even that was hard.
Tell her it's important to you that she tell her mother. And you need to be able to call her. Otherwise you won't make it.
Good luck to you.
2006-08-05 18:53:25 · answer #5 · answered by Super Rach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really love this girl, then patience and hard work is what it's going to take in order to make the relationship work. Long distance relationships are hard. I know because I am in a long distance relationship that just so happens to be international as well. New York and California is NOTHING compared to USA and Russia...but the point I am making is to look at what is going on and do what you can to keep the situation as normalized as possible.
FIRST: your girlfriend is 18. That's pretty young, at least by American standards, and well...any form of intimacy with her is frowned upon. You don't seem like the kind of guy who is gonna get her knocked up and she doesn't seem (from what you've said) to be the kind of girl that her parents actually have to worry about her becoming. BUT you do have family perceptions to deal with, and so rather than work on keeping things a secret between the two of you, work on finding ways to get her to come to your city, for college, for work, or for something that would make her parents feel a bit safer letting her go. She shouldn't come to you just for you anyway. She's going to need friends, a job, and other social contacts anyway, and so work on ideas with her as to where she could go for college or work or whatever and then YOU make your plans to meet her there.
Ultimately this will be an easier thing for her parents to accept, because at some point she will be able to introduce you to her family as someone she met in her "new home town" or something like that.
If each of you has internet access. Chat with one another on line. If she has a cell phone, send her SMS messages. Use Skype, especially since it's free.
The thing to do is look at what each of you wants and then determine what each of you is able to do to make the situation work in the long run. If you're both equally interested in maintining a relation ship, you will both find a common way to make this work, but ultimately, both of you are going to have to be adults and make decisions not only based on homonal surges or whatever, but based on the kinds of hardships you're facing now and WILL face in the future. School is an important thing, so focus on that. Jobs are important. Focus on that. Find ways, perhaps to make school and work coincide (at least in her parents' eyes) with the relationship they will eventually learn about.
I hope this helps.
2006-08-05 18:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by chipchinka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well the best to do is making it clear for every one her mom will freak out cuz its a far away relation but u have to go meet the mom u have to fly or drive to her ,and u have to let the mom meet u u guys should plan on that and make it come true cuz if ur going to hide this for ever it wont work beside u r already doin it in secret so if her mom found out and didnt like it u can keep it in secret and u can find many ways to stay in touch even if she got crazy abt protectin her daughter so belive me the best for u guys is to do that plan and u have to make ur gf belive in that and what to lose any way if it didnt became better it will stay the same hiidin in the dark!!
2006-08-05 18:54:00 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love this girl, you won't take that her mom can't know. Be a man and step up to the plate. Sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders, go to her mom and introduce yourself and explain your intentions with her daughter. Tell her that you love her and respect her. There is no reason that you should have to keep your love a secret if it goes both ways.
2006-08-05 18:52:46 · answer #8 · answered by {Lisa} 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she allows her parents to treat her like a child then she still is a child and why would you be interested in her? If she is an adult then she needs to act like an adult. She's going to have to make a stand sooner or later. I didn't rebel until I was 21 and my parents forbade me to see someone and threatened to disown me so of course I just had to go against them. They didn't disown me though and I did end up marrying the guy but that only lasted 5 years.
2006-08-06 06:57:11 · answer #9 · answered by Dellajoy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it may be not very good advice but..
if i were her and it sounds like she has a good relationship with her mom then she should be able to tell her. Have them have a day together bonding and then have them talk about relationships. then have her ask her mom would you be ok if i was in a long distance relationship. break it to her. thats what i would do my parents are divorced too so i know what she is going through.
im sorry for both of you.
hope i helped.
2006-08-05 18:51:26 · answer #10 · answered by Margarita 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you really love her and you have to minamize your calls to 2 a week maybe you can talk by phone or sneek calls inbetween classes or visit her just fly out or drive to New York and stay in a hotel or whatever and maybe you guys can setup a dinner date so that you can meet her mom to get her to approve and maybe when you get out of college or she gets out of high school one of you can move and get a apartment or somethin and if you really love eachother you would sacrafice to see eachother.glad to hlp from ashley, 11
2006-08-05 18:56:20 · answer #11 · answered by ashley333* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋