I have always been very thin but since my boyfriend and I have been together, I have gained about 40 pounds. (All within a year and 1/2 -I am 34 and have never gained weight before.) I have no confidence issues and I know I still look good and I also am currently trying to drop back down to my usual weight, but all my excess weight is in my stomach and around my hips, so it is hard for me to find pants that fit me as I am now.
(I am 5'11 and thin everywhere else but those 2 areas, so I need long pants, but also something kind of bigger than normal as the problem is the waistband.)
Today, we were at the mall and lately, I have given in to wearing a size 10 pant (I am more used to wearing a 2 thru 6) but because the worst of my prob. is in my stomach ( I look pregnant) I actually had to go up to a 12. I wound up getting those and on the way out, my boyfriend said - "Wow, you're really pushing the limit. They probably don't usually carry that size."
WTF???
2006-08-05 18:35:11 · 34 answers · asked by Beach 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Oh, let me tell you I sure as hell DID let him have it . Right there.
I told him that comment would have made most girls cry.
I really wonder about his brain/mouth connection. He seems to have no idea how rude he is when he says things.
2006-08-05 18:48:49 · update #1
No, I did not berate him in public.
Apology accepted, thank you.
2006-08-08 11:53:52 · update #2
If he loves you it wont matter. I'm sure he will get his chance with weight gain himself sooner or later.
2006-08-05 20:32:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 13⤊ 0⤋
If he's still attracted to you I'd say he didn't think that the comment would mean anything to you. Not to mention if you're making a big deal of moving up in pant sizes, by way of tone and comments, then it may have been more of a sarcastic joking thing. Fact is there are people way bigger than you so in his perspective there may be no reason to make a big deal about going up a few pant sizes...
Even if it turns out that it was just an ignorant comment on his part, was it any less inconsiderate than berating a grown man in public as though he was a child... I assume you yelled at him when you say,"I let him have it, right there." If my assumption is wrong I appologize.
2006-08-06 10:15:33 · answer #2 · answered by Joshua Pettigrew 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay lets be 100% honest here...yeah guys are assholes.
But chances are he was just joking around, no need to dump him or anything like some girl said a few answers back. And a joke is a joke, if your truly comfortble with your weight like you said, you would be able to take the chunky jokes in the same way that you have probably taken tall jokes. I say tall cuz 5"11 is pretty up there for me being 5 3, whatever you know what i mean.
take it in stride, and snap a joke at him every once in a while
2006-08-13 03:54:50 · answer #3 · answered by Carthlete 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a size 2-6 before it is possible that to your b/f a 12 is pushing the limit (we know it's not!) but sometimes men can be such non-thinking creatures i.e. they don't think what could be the possible repercussions of me saying this. It's good to see that he's apologised, give him kudos for that. We as women have to sometimes put on our man-ears and try to think what a guy is thinking when he makes a statement. Another point, never let a relationship make you lose sight of you and what makes you solid, so when he makes a dumass statement like that, just shake your head and go pfffftttt...
2006-08-13 06:36:18 · answer #4 · answered by mouthahmassy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I know that some couples make comments like that jokingly hoping to get a little play fighting started which actually just brings them closer. But, you were the one who was there, who heard the intonation in his voice, who knows his usual ways. I don't think he meant it to sound as bad as it did, but he really should work on his censoring skills before he just says stuff....he should stop and analize the possible outcomes and THEN say it. Unfortunately we all have these little slips once in a while. I'm sure he wont make the same mistake twice (if he does, THEN you can wonder)
2006-08-05 19:38:37 · answer #5 · answered by Zarango 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm, sounds like your man is a totally tool. I would say that you're still pretty thin compared to what is now considered the average in woman now a days. Tell the guy to be nicer or get the F out of your life.
2006-08-05 18:44:03 · answer #6 · answered by williampetersen7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you lead him to believe that you are not conserned at all about your weight change.
He decided to make a joke about it, and a very awkward one. He put his foot in the mouth big time. I really hope that's what it is. Did you tell him that you were offended by his joke? Men are often insensitive without meaning to be that way. They can learn, but we have to teach them.
P.s. After reading your comment - what a moron. Still didn't think to apologize. Jerk.
2006-08-05 21:43:20 · answer #7 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it depends on HOW he said it...
It's a very insensitive comment and you would do well to let him know that it made you feel weird that he said it, esp since you are trying to lose weight.
Try talking with him. No need to get upset; the goals of talking with him about it are as follows:
1.To try to understand where he was coming from when he said that and
2. To let him know how you are feeling about the weight and your body right now.
Hope that you can sort everything out :)
2006-08-05 18:44:11 · answer #8 · answered by Gryphon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He was being insentitive, but to go from a 4 to a 12 is a lot. Some men are turned off by that.
2006-08-06 02:22:49 · answer #9 · answered by Classy Granny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men tend to have "Foot-in-mouth" disease. A good elbow jab to the kidney is a training tool you can try. It's quick, effective, and takes 'em by surprise.
For you- I would really recommend you see a Dr. You may have uterine tumors or another medical condition causing gain in that area only.
2006-08-05 19:10:20 · answer #10 · answered by deborajospurlock 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No he is not stupid, guys don't think about how it may sound before they say it. They are used to talking with other guys who take no offense to comments like that.
Now on to you, your metabolism is changing and you may need to change you exercising routine or fin-tune your eating habits.
Most guys like to late night snack while watching TV or just hanging out and we women who enjoy our men will follow suit. This can add weight to us.
We have to change our habits as well, I have lost almost 70lbs doing this with my husband, I have gone to his schedule his is a night shift worker and with all or kids grown I now eat at night and do my housework and so forth at night, I also work at home so I can work any hours I want. I do my stuff at night when he is at work and then the nights he is off I spend with him in front of the TV or just hanging out.
2006-08-13 04:42:48 · answer #11 · answered by bonita_cooper2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋