Help i dont know what to do???????????????

Question

Look my parents fight sometimes and i have 2 sisters that are6 and 11 years old.And 1 brother that is 9.I'm the oldest i'm 13 and i fell that my sisters and brother are getting a bad exaple of living i dont know why do they argue but i want to know how can i stop them from arguing and screaming alot.HELP! :(

And i think my sister that is 10 is learning from them by starting to fight with my brother and me i need help how can i make sure it dosen't effect on my baby sister and brother?

Answer 1

Nothing you can do. Just try to talk to them and be there for them. Good luck.

Answer 2

You sound very mature for your situation and age. Let me give some advice and see if it helps.

You say they fight . I suspect this is the only family that you know, so I'll tell you a secret....MOST family have disagreements in some fashion. Your parents sound fairly normal in the fact that fight (which I assume means argue). Ifthey make up and also have loving, hugging monents, then your brothers and sisters will understand that it is a part of life.

If this is new behavior for your parents (which I suspect bcause of your shock), then understand that there may be an underlying problem that they need to resolve. It may be money, or insecurity of some type.

If the fighting is violent,, then perhaps you need to talk to them or someone that you trust to act on your behalf; a relative, a school counselor, or community counselor or clergyman. If you all feel in danger, then you should intervene but be safe.

Otherwise, try to talk to your folks about this (when they calm down)...they may be looking at you as a child, but you are more adult than they think. If you are closer to either your mother or father, try talking to them first. Tell them of your concerns.

If things are bad for a long time, you may be the calming factor to your family. When the kids scream or fight...hold them close and tell them calmly to settle down...you love them and want them to be safe.

If the kids tell you that mom and dad do it, tell them they are wrong. You may be the example for your parents to follow.

My parents were like this too, they didn't divorce, but the fights never really stopped. I decided to not have that happen to the people I loved, but I could never control the parents...but it was never my responsibility to do that. My younger brother is older now and turned out fine.

Good luck sweet girl,

Answer 3

There isn't anything you can do. I feel for you. The best thing you can do is to tell them your concerns, and ask them to argue when you and your siblings are not around. They should respect all of you enough to do that.

They will probably say one of two things either that this is none of your business (i.e. "adult stuff") or they will try and do better. In either case, don't expect too much of them. Do not expect them to stop arguing (sometimes people just need to argue to let off steam). If they do say they will leave the room or shut a door when they argue, don't remind them of that every time they argue, otherwise you could find yourself on the wrong end of the argument.

As for what you can do yourself. When disagreements crop up between yourself and your siblings, (I know they happen), make sure you set that good example of how a problem should be solved.

Remember, above all else, you are still a kid (a very grown up one, by the sounds of it, but still a kid) and you have very little control over whether or not your parents argue or how your parents argue. All you can do is express your concerns and hope that will change thier habits a little bit.

Best of luck and keep your chin up.

Answer 4

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. The only thing that I can think of is try sitting down with your parents and tell them exactly how you feel. Let them know how much it bothers you. Tell them your concerns about your brother and sisters. I know that it will be hard, but your parents are probably so caught up in there arguing that they don't even think about how it effects you guys. When you talk to them make sure you talk to both parents at the same time. If it doesn't work, talk to a counselor at school so you can get some help and support. A counselor will help you learn how to deal with this situation. Learn from your parents mistakes. Good luck. I will be thinking of you.

Answer 5

Fighting like this in the household is hard, and has long term affects. One of the best things you can do for them is set an example. When one of your siblings are fighting with the other, sit down with them ask them why they're upset and perhaps make them realize why it's immature, unnecessary or just plain hurtful. In situations like these, it's really easy to lose the concept of respect. It's going to be difficult, to be the model child. But they're lucky you recognize this problem already. It's a lot of hard work, and patients on your part. Another thing I would suggest is that you talk to someone about it - just so that you don't get too stressed while dealing with all this. The only reason this is necessary, is because - seeing you are mature would mean that holding it up inside will hurt you. Another note, your siblings are probably just as distraught over their parents fighting, but they might start seeing it as a norm. Again, to combat this, show them that you are different, and that there is something better out there. As people we need to live on hope. Good luck.

Answer 6

Girl you've got a tough on here. I grew up in an abusive family too. Nowadays you do have some choices. Hopefully they do not yell at you kids or hit you, but if they do, and it is not just a spanking, call the police. If they are just arguing with each other they will probably get divorced. My parents tried to stay together
until all of us kids were older(7 of us). It did not work. I was 9 when they split up. This is the tough part, but you sound like a
smart young lady. Try to talk with your mom when your dad is not around. Tell her it makes you scared when they fight. Tell
her how you feel it is affecting your sisters and brother. Chances are one or both of your parents grew up in the same kind of home. Just be careful but truthful to her so she doesn't
think you are being a smart-alec.

Good Luck and I'll say a prayer for your family.

Answer 7

When things are quiet, try talking to whatever parent seems to be the most rational. Tell them that you want to talk to them and that it is important. Explain how you are all worried and scared when they fight, and if there is anything that can be done to help. Let them know that your brother and sisters hear them too, and that you all are scared. Tell your parent that you know they want what is best for all of you, and that you do, too, and that it would probably help if you guys did not have to hear/see them fight, because (mom/dad) would not want you kids thinking that is the way to have a marriage, right? Dear, you are wiser than your age, much like I had to be. You do what you can to keep your siblings on the right path, help them see that all marriages are not made in Hell. Point out others who can serve as a good example. When your sister starts fights, simply remind her in a calming voice, that you are all better than that. You may want to try to have a talk with her, to help her understand that what mom and dad do is not right. My mom and dad were totally dysfunctional- but my aunt and uncle were great mentors. I looked up to them and say what a real marriage was supposed to be like. I stayed there a lot, and my aunt even says I am her 'minime'. I take it as a compliment. Good luck dear- just remember that in a few short years, you can be out on your own, and live the life you know you deserve to lead.

Answer 8

Well, I don't know how easy your parents are to talk to, but they clearly seem to not want to listen to each other if they are often yelling. I suggest speaking with a school counselor and letting their school counselors know about your situation at home so that it can be monitored.. I also highly suggest a family therapist.. Seeing a thereapist or talking to counselors doens't mean anyone is crazy, it just gives you an outlet to talk. A place to be strong, and a way to break through all the drama so that you can move on to live a normal life. I think its wonderful that you are looking out for your siblings. They are lucky to have you. Good luck and take care..

Answer 9

Try to ask your parents what are they fighting about. If you can't do this, try to write them a letter. I hope they are not hurting you kids.

Parents fighting is normal but if you kids get to see them fight is unusual because couples fight privately. They know they have kids watching or listening so they don't usually do that.

You can also learn from school that fighting is not good so discuss that to your brother and sisters. You should always talk to them on a positive note.

You're such a strong kid, I should say.

Always bear in mind that good deeds bear good kids.

God bless you

Answer 10

Really there is nothing that you can do to stop your parents from fighting. Don't look at it as being your fault bacause it's not at all. Just talk to your siblings and make sure they know that it's not their fault either and that even though your parents may argue that it doesn't make it right to do with each other and that it won't help the situation any if they are arguing with each other.

Answer 11

It is not always possible for children to stop fighting parents. You can console your brothers and sisters by taking them away from the scene and assuring them that you are always with them. It is really commendable for a child of your age to think that maturely. You have definitely a great future ahead. Keep your cool. Best of luck to you.