What are some signs that a man is abusive partner?

Question

I think he may be abusive. He's very jealous and has a temper.

Answer 1

For the man that seems so perfect at first, isolating you from family and friends is usually your first clue.

This often seems like the two of you just don't need anyone else to be happy. If you are 'blindly' in love, you may not notice what is happening until those you care about are either too far away to help or have been alienated in some way. When you are alone is when the trouble begins.

You may see signs along the way like fleeting hints of unreasonable jealousy, constant calling or a need to know where you are and who you are with at all times... Things that can make you feel wanted at first, particularly if you are needy yourself or like to feel 'protected' and initially, it is usually done with restraint. If a man shows that edge of anger, the kind that chills your blood, with others... It is my opinion that his partner will probably come under its blade as well. It seems to start with verbal abuse in private. In public he may be overly attentive and affectionate. Watch his family... This is all too often a pattern. If the mother seems overly submissive with husband and sons, don't be too quick to dismiss it as her just being a wimpy sort.

The thing to remember is, if he scares you, there is probably good reason for you to be scared! Don't wait until he has convinced you that you don't deserve better treatment... Pay attention!

In the case of seeing a family member or friend in one of these situations, just notice any changes... Increased timidity or quietness when he is around, nervousness and desperation to please, feigned happiness when their eyes have the look of a hunted thing and, of course, unsatisfactorily explained injuries are all red flags.

Here are some good links if you would like more information or need help.
Be aware. If you or anyone reading this is actually seeking help , try to use a computer outside the home. Your activity is track-able and it is near impossible to completely clear the 'tracks'. Use a library or some public access to get your info and make your plan. Be smart and be safe.

http://www.ndvh.org/educate/what_is_dv.html
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_help_treatment_prevention.htm

Answer 2

Although I havent' been in a situation like this... I see it.... ALL to often. I see signs of abuse from a man when they want the girl to stay home. WHY just so that the chick can't have a life with some other friends (and for sure NO male friends). Abuse is when they yell at everything you do no matter what it is... and then they'll try and smooth it over by saying i'm sorry and showering you with little gifts thats just not right at all. Abuse is when they hit you and say I didn't mean to do it... then why the HELL did they in the first place? ... NEVER stay with a person if they verbally, physically, or emotionally ABUSE you... it'll just bring you down to depression (or themselves) and you know death is a result of that situation. Get out of a relationship like this... If you find yourself second guessing why they are doing this to you... definately TALK to the person about what they are doing to you... and if they can't realize they are hurting you... it's NOT worth your time/body and you should KNOW that you need to get away from them.

Answer 3

I would have to say any signs of severe possessiveness...emotional abuse...explosive temper...the 1 st time you step back wondering what was that be careful I was in an emotional abusive marriage which turned into physical in the later part...it is scary & not necessary!

Answer 4

When a man attempts to isolate you from family and friends you are half way to being the next LIFETIME family movie! Tracking your every move is another way! Knowing how much gas is in your car and how far you travel etc is a sick man. I heard some men do that extreme stuff. If you're asking us, there's something out of line! Get out while you can. Appologies are like A$$holes. You don't need another one...do you?

Answer 5

There are many subtle signs but you must be very aware of them.

Please go to the attached link for domestic violence. There is a power and control wheel that demonstrates what is considered an abusive relationship.

I got a divorce because of the verbal and emotional abuse that I suffered throughout my marriage.

Don't ever think that he will change or that you can change him.

Answer 6

Controlling and demanding.Constantly putting you down.Not letting you have friends.Not letting you spend time with friends.Not letting you be around your family.Monitoring your calls.Yelling and cursing of course then trying to make up for it with gift maybe.Telling you what to do all the time,ordering you around.Not wanting you to go out and telling you what to wear and not to wear.Watching your every move.It only took one hit for me to get out of an abusive relationship.All of those things happened to me before that slap.I should've left sooner than that.Know the signs.

Answer 7

when that person makes you feel bad about yourself, is negative towards you, says or does things to make you fear him, threatens you, or punishes you for "bad behavior".... pretty much anything that involves NOT trying to help you become a better, happier, and healthier person. someone who is always trying to bring you down somehow, and doesn't allow you to grow, doesn't do what's "best for you."

be careful~~ in a relationship, loving eachother means knowing and doing what's best for the other person, their happiness is put above yours. if you have that level of love, and u wait until u find someone who feels the same, then u both will take care of ANY problems in between, because you put their happiness above urs, and they put ur happiness above theirs. doing and knowing what's best for each other.. that's why people say "if u love them, let them go..." because sometimes, even tho it hurts u, it's best to let that person go and pursue something more positive. good luck, and don't take ANY less than the best. work on urself, so that u KNOW u are a wonderful caring, loving girlfriend; that way u can expect those things from someone whom u deem worthy to be ur boyfriend. someone who makes u feel badly or scared or sad is not going to be healthy for u, no matter how much u love them.

Answer 8

Controlling, demanding, belittling, etc. The lists goes on and on - if you have to ask - then you or someone you care about IS in an abusive relationship. Get OUT!

Answer 9

Why this question? Are you already in a relationship with someone?

If he touches you in ANYWAY that displeases you, you told him so, and he still does - that is a physical abuse.

If he tell you ANYTHING that is hurtful to you, you told him so, and he still does - that is a mental abuse.

If he HITS you, it is an abuse.

Answer 10

the partner might over patronize, they might be confused with a look of fear in the eyes.maybe very chapped lipps. kinda like a dog acts when it is beaten allot.