How do I protect my Daughter?

Question

My 6 yr. old little girl, has a friend that is a boy in our neighborhood. He made her take her pants down, she was humiliated and ashamed when she came to me. I am so overwhelmed with anger and disgust with that boy. I told my little girl it was not her fault and that she did nothing wrong, but I am consumed with this incident. I have forbidden her from being around this child, but I have a 10 yr. old that plays with that boys older brother. I dont know what I should do. I can't trust that boy around my daughter and I am not sure if I should forbid my son from being around the older child too.??

Answer 1

I think I would not let any of my kids play with them. I do think you should talk to the parents of the boy, though.

Answer 2

Whew. This is surely scary and angering for you. With everything you hear in the news, we Moms feel very protective of our children.

I am not an early childhood development expert, but I do know that this stuff is common in children, especially at 5 and 6 or so.

You have the right to control your child's interactions, but the parents of the little boy should probably be brought in if all of a sudden, you forbid your kids to play with their kids.

What is of the most concern is that your 6-year old was humiliated and ashamed. What made her feel that way? Kids at 6 have reasons they feel strongly. What 6 year old should feel ashamed about something that MAY be an innocent childhood event?

Maybe try not to keep focusing on this unless she brings it up again. Again, I'm not an expert here. You might try reading about it. Go to www.dogpile.com and search on terms like childhood development and curiosity.

Answer 3

1. You need to talk to your daughter to find out what really happened. I hate to say this but there's a possibility more could have happened to your daughter, that she may be afraid to tell you.
2. Go to his parents, his parents should be aware of this incident!
3. Depending on their response, you'll have no other choice but to call the police or child protective services. There's always a possibility that someone is doing something to this child.
As her mother, and the one responsible for her well being..
I've read a lot of mixed answers that is very conflicting and making excuses for this boy's behavior. This type of behavior is not normal. This child is 10 years old and very aware of other body parts. Typically, without any evidence but in most kids sexual abused kids demonstrate this type of behavior and often abuse other kids. You really need to push this issue! Your son and daughter should stay clear away from this boy...If this is not rectified there's no way to tell the amount of emotional damage this could cause your daughter. Get control of the situation this is serious and not normal...

Answer 4

If the boy is another 6 year old you may be over reacting a little. Though I understand your anger. The obvious thing to do is go to his parents. IF your son had done this wouldn't you want the girls parents to tell you so that you had a chance to deal with him ,prevent him from repeating the behavior or find out early if your son had issues you needed to get professional help for. Maybe someone has done this to him and he is repeating the behavior. Victims, especially young kids , sometimes repeat the behavior of their abusers because they are trying to deal with it in their own minds. It could just be he is a jerk and if that is the case if he were mine I'd want to know. Just have a calm conversation with his mom/dad and let them know what has occured. If it were your son and no one told you then how could you do anything about it or prevent it frm happening again.

Answer 5

You need to make sure your daughter is supervised when she is playing with this child. This is normal for children this age to want to see what the other sex looks like. This happened to my son when a neighbors daughter asked him to play doctor. Her mother had the intercom on and was listening to them. She walked into the room and told them, now you know what each other looks like. Pull your pants on and don't do it again. This mother and I made sure we were close by when they played and their curiousity was satisfied and the incident never occured again. We didn't make them feel gulity about it but it explained to them that we wear clothes to cover our bodies. Children this age needs supervision and if she was my child and played with the little boy I would have them play at my home so that I could keep an eye on them. More than likely the incident want happen again. I would have a talk with the mother and ask her to supervise when they played at her house if this comes up again I would not let them play and I would have a talk with the mother.

Answer 6

hi there :)

you said your 10 year old son plays with the boys old brother? so I can only assume that the boy you are angry with is no older than 10. I would say that perhaps the childs incidents were mere curiosity, and nothing too malevolent. After all, kids like to experiment.
perhaps if you could talk to the childs parents, they could talk to him about what happened, and maybe explain things to him? maybe he wouldn't need to find out things for himself, or harm others that way.

that's all i was thinking, I hope it helps :)

Answer 7

Talk to the boys parents. I know how you must feel but keep in mind he is only a little boy who needs to be told that this behavior is wrong. In the mean time don't let any of your kids play with them until this is resolved.

Answer 8

My first step would be to get with the boy's mother. Then I would make sure that whenever your children are playing with any other kids that they are very well supervised. I am an over protective mother. This could have ended a lot worse. Please make sure something is done. This could have been something innocent on the children's part, but then again it may not have been innocent.

Answer 9

Have you talked to the parents? They really need to know what their son is doing. Keep an eye on how your daughter is reacting to it. If she is getting over it, try not to prolong the experience for her with your reaction. If she isn't coping well, get her someone to talk to. If there haven't been problems with the older child, there is probably no reason to end the friendship.

Answer 10

Have you called DCFS (Department of Children and Family Services)? My sis-in-law had something similar happen only the little boy asked her daughter if she wanted to have sex with him both kids being only 5 at the time. She called DCFS and come to find out the kids had been removed from the parents and living with grandparents at the time.