Why do parents let their kids scream bloody blue murder for 30 minutes or more?

Question

While they continue shopping?

Anyone who says "You don't have kids so you wouldn't understand" will not have their answer considered.

Answer 1

Many parents where given good advice and they used it incorrectly. At HOME letting the child have their tantrum while you ignore it is a technique that usually produces great results - no more tantrums. However, this is not a technique that should eb used outside of the home. In public, like at the grocery store, you take the child and leave - immediately! This usually really upsets the child as they probably wanted something and now they are leaving with nothing, but even if it is what the child wanted - you leave. Once the child has calmed down, you talk seriously with them about how unacceptable that behavior is and how it will not be allowed. Then, the next time you go to a store (preferably one they really want to go to with you) they stay home. Even if this is a huge inconvenience for you and you have to work overtime to pay a sitter - they stay home. You calmly explain to them that they will get to try again next time, but that they may not come this time due to their behavior last time. (They always get another chance the next time! Show you believe they can change!) It is nothing personal - it's just the way things work. You behave you get to go, you scream you stay home. You do your shopping and dont' bring it up again. The next time you ask them if they can act appropriately and allow them to try again. Hopefully once will work, but if not, you stick with it or face a child who screams until you give them everything you own for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

It depends on how old the child is. There is never an excuse for allowing a baby to cry. That's just flat out cruel.

As for toddlers and older child, it's tough to judge because you may not know the situation. I've rarely witnessed a child screaming for 30 minutes or more in public (are you sure it was this long, or did it just seem like this long?). I will let my child cry or fuss after a reprimand, or not getting his way. It usually lasts no longer than 2 minutes or so. I did that just this evening. I was at a public function and my son wanted to run into the street. I pulled him away from the street and he threw a tantrum. He didn't want to be held or touched so I allowed him to spend a minute getting out his frustration. He's a child and should be allowed to behave like a child and express his feelings in the only way he knows how. If it were to go on for an extended period of time (longer than 5 minutes), then I would be obligated to remove him from the environment we were in.

You also have to consider that you don't know what's going on in a certain individual or family's life. Sometimes it's a sign of bad or selfish parenting, sometimes it's a sign of something more complicated.

Answer 3

When my child was a toddler, I would do a "set-up" before going shopping. I would tell him, that if he behaved, we would do something special after we were done, like get an ice cream cone, or go to the park and the merry-go-round. If he misbehaved, we would go home - right then. This went for restaurants, too (and I'd warn the servers).

Of course, children test! Always! We were in the grocery store, and he decided he didn't want to be, so he lay down on the floor and started to scream "bloody blue murder for 30 minutes" as you put it. I stood nearby, studiously ignoring him, knowing he wanted my attention, wanted me to gather him up and give him a chocolate or a toy or something, but that was not the plan we had talked about! Boy, did I get the angry looks from others who thought I was a bad mother!!

The energy he put into such a tantrum soon wore him down, and he sniffled about some toy he wanted. I asked him if he was done crying. Yes, he said. So, saying nothing, I took him by the hand and walked him out of the store, very calmly, to the car. When we got to the car and I had buckled him in the car seat, he asked again about the toy. I said that he had not behaved in the store and we were going home. And we did. He had a fresh tantrum in the car, but no one had to listen to it but me.

After a few of those, in stores and restaurants, he stopped doing that. I'd get a look in my eye at the first sign of a sniffle or a plaintive demand, and he'd shut up. Of course, it only lasts so long.......when they become a teenager. Then it's another set of rules. Never a dull moment.

Answer 4

There are many reasons why people let there kids go out of control. I feel sometimes they just don't know what to do. Parents usually pick the wrong places to let their kids do that. My daughter knows better then to do that. One thing that I just can't stand is when I see other people's kids throwing tantrums and there parents don't pay attention. Parents sometimes think that if they walk away or just ignore their kid while they are throwing a fit they will stop. But in most cases it just worsens the whole entire thing. So I feel that the reasons why they let them do that is because they just don't want to deal with it.

Answer 5

Someone has to do the shopping. But really if your child is screaming bloody blue for 30 mins the child needs something. Food, sleep their teeth are bothering them. Possibly the parent is not paying any attention to them.

Answer 6

A lot of the time the child is spoiled and uses the screaming as an attention getter or trying to do it to get whatever it is they they want so the parent will try an ignore them. Truthfully that **** gets on my last nerves.

Answer 7

have you ever met the boy or his mum and dad. He could have some style of developmental sickness or style of autism and could no longer administration his strikes. Why isn't he in college throughout the day. If no longer something is misguided with the baby, show concern to the mum and dad that each and every person is assuming the baby is being harm or in risk and somebody could call the police.

Answer 8

Most of the time it is a tantrum. My stepson tries to pull that crap with me and i point and laugh at him it usually shuts him up quick. I did it one time and told the lady next to me. "doesn't he look silly crying and throwing a tantrum" she said yes he does is he a baby. I said he must be. he stopped crying and has not done it again.

Might not be the best way to break the habbit, but i no longer have that problem.

Answer 9

well the best thing to do when a child is acting up is to ignore them, if you give them attention, (ex: keep telling them to be quiet) it only fuels them up to act out even more. it is actually a good strategy because the kid will learn that he doesnt get attention by throwing a fit. when you see it happening, be kind and dont pay the kid any attention, it will help the parent out.

Answer 10

Basically because they are only thinking about themselves and don't really care that their kids are crying. I wonder the same thing is shopping really that important to them that they have to put their kids through that? I guess so.