My wife has a daughter who is 3 yrs old. Her daughter was emotionaly and physicaly abused by her biological father. What is my role as the new "dad". My wife and her daughters father do not speak. He has no contact with the daughter either. I just need advice on what to do as far as being a dad in this situation.
2006-08-05 15:06:19 · 14 answers · asked by semperfi5050 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Just let her know that you won't harm her let the daughter know that you love her and everything is gonna be ok just be there for her plz
2006-08-05 15:12:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you need to ask yourself how would you want her to treat a child of yours. You are in this childs life because her mother loves you and feels that you would be a good role model for her child and at three years old this child only needs someone to love her and to show her what being a family is. Talk to your wife and see just what she wants and tell her what you want. Do you want to perhaps adopt the child and be her father or are you satisfied with the step-father role. I was raised by my step-dad and I love him just as much as my dad. The main thing to remember is this child has been abused by a man so it might take time for her to trust and once you gain that trust treasure it and don't ever give her or the mother reason to regret having it.
2006-08-05 22:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Right now, don't take the role as her father unless you are certain the time is right. The only one she has known so far has obviously treated her horribly. Just do what you think is best for her. I would definitely seek family counseling, if you have the means. But try not to worry to much about it right now if you can. Just let her know you love her mom, and you will love her just the same. Treat her as your wife's daughter, but let her know that the man who treated her so poorly wasn't really her father, or he wouldn't have done the things he did.That is not what a father does. A real father nurtures and takes care of his children, and helps them when they are sick, and loves them unconditionally. He makes sure they are well at all times, he doesn't hurt them. Show her how and what a real father is when you are certain the time is right.
GOOD LUCK!!! BEST OF WISHES!
2006-08-05 22:31:24 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wife Husband Mother Father Daughter Family. You have been invited to be this child's father. That isn't an easy job on the best of days. But you can't be expected to be an effective parent with no ability to discipline the kid. You can't reason with 3 year old persons. You have to have control of them or they persist in getting run over or burnt or kidnapped or beat up. So, you need to remember that discipline is not the same as torture, or punishment. And it is possible to love your step children-god how I hate that term- like they are your own. Because they are.
So, to shorten this up, treat her like she is your own. If your wife isn't up for that she should have told you before you were married because that is just not fair.
2006-08-05 22:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's young enough that she will consider you a father figure when she gets older if you take care of her and you're still around. Since she really has no dad to look up to, I think you could fill that role perfectly. Your wife would appreciate that a lot. Be her dad!!!!! You will your marriage, and more importantly, THE LITTLE GIRL'S LIFE, a million times better.
2006-08-05 22:16:28 · answer #5 · answered by billysimas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's not just your wife's daughter, since you are married she is now your daughter, too.
You should try just talking to her, reading her books, singing songs together, and playing simple games with her a little every day.
Treat her as if she were your biological child and you should be okay.
2006-08-05 22:20:10 · answer #6 · answered by Meg 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just show her that there's hope in life, and don't let her grow up knowing all men are mean. lover her with all of your heart and make her life fun. if you don't, then when she starts to go to school, a lot of other kids will talk about how cool their fathers are, and she will feel cold and all alone. i kinda know how that feels because my father abandoned me and my mom and i grew up with out a dad. i hope that everything goes great between you and her!
Best Wishes!
2006-08-05 22:18:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My fiance is in the same predicament. The only thing you can do, is love her and play with her. What she really needs now is a stable and loving family. It is very confusing for a young child who has gone through these traumatic experiences. They need hugs, kisses and tickles. Make her laugh.
2006-08-05 23:11:02 · answer #8 · answered by trace 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your wife that you want to be a father to her and help both of them...and go from there. As far as what to do, be supportive, give guidelines, boundaries. And you probably have to discuss how to handle discipline....
2006-08-05 22:14:11 · answer #9 · answered by crazymom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your in a tight spot thats for sure.........you definetly do not want or should you have to be a disaplinarian, she's not your child and she as well as mom will only resent you for trying to be such. I think most important is to be a support to your wife, and her daughter, which will most certainly be easier said then done. Good luck to you.
2006-08-05 22:13:22 · answer #10 · answered by kim h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋