DOES ANYONE HAVE A SET OF HOUSE RULES FOR THEIR CHILDREN (7YRS OLD)? OR dISCIPLINE IDEAS?

Question

I have a very smart 7 year old who on some days acts too nice and listens to every word, then some days doesnt listen at all. My husband is in Iraq, I work full time n go to schoo. SO I get very aggravated. I want to make a list of HOUSE RULES for my son to go by and come up with ways to discipline besides the corner and things like that, which really doesnt work now. So if anyone uses a writeen set of house rules, can you show me an example and examples of your discipline methods? THANKS SOO MUCH

Answer 1

Don't ****. with other girls and don't bring nanny 911 to the house

Answer 2

Wow, there are alot of answers here. A lot of timeouts alot of spankings alot of rules. What there seems to be very little of is Why. What is so different on days your son misbehaves? Your looking for more rules to try to regulate behavior that might have nothing to do with his current state of mind. Has he had a bad day at school? Does he have excess energy? Does he have wants that he can't express into words? Does he simply want more attention from you? Does he miss his father more today than yesterday?
Your child has just as many mood swings and wants and needs that you do and fewer tools to cope with them all. Before you reach for the time out, the swat to the butt, or the bribe or the threat, maybe you should reach out and see if you can determine what the real cause of the behavior is. The simple statement that he has good days and bad seem to be an underlining clue that there might be a problem underneath the behavior that can be resolved; and help end that behavior with a little understanding instead of punishement.

Answer 3

All kids should have age-appropriate chores, both to encourage a sense of responsibility and pride, and because members of a family all ought to have a share of the load. A 7-year-old could be expected to make his bed, set the table and clear his own place, and maybe one other thing that is within his ability. He should also get a modest weekly allowance that is not tied to chores, but teaches him to handle money.

Some basic household rules:
If you make a mess, clean it up.
Set weekday and weekend bedtimes.
Set limits on TV and game time.
Have a firm homework time.
...Think about your expectations and add to or modify this list. Every family is different. But all kids want and need structure in their lives, even if they claim not to!

As for discipline, timeouts work well for this age.
Give a command only once.
If you don't get compliance, use an if-then statement ("If you don't put your toys away now, you will go to timeout.")
If you still get noncompliance, add a minute to the timeout for every minute of delay. ("You've just earned another minute of timeout.")
If noncompliance persists for 10 minutes, use an if-then to lose a privilege. ("If you don't go to timeout now, you won't get to watch the big game on Saturday.")
Enforce the penalty if necessary. Be consistent - never make empty threats.
Use one minute of timeout for every year of age. Timeout begins when the child quiets down (make sure he understands this).
Timeout should be in a room with no toys or distractions...or in the room with you but in a chair facing the wall.
Use lots of praise and positive reinforcement. And remember the "attention" rule: whatever behavior is paid attention to is the behavior that will increase. Ignore misbehavior as much as possible and reward or compliment positive behaviors!

Answer 4

When my siblings and I started acting up, my parents used to make us write essays. For example, if you roughhoused at the table, you might have to write for a page about table manner with normal sized letters. Of course, we turned this into a game and started making stories and things, but it was still rather effective. They only accepted essays with some semblance of coherency, so we had to be creative in connecting our other ideas to the issue at hand. The point wasn't to make us talk about manners for an extended period of time, but to make us sit still and do something productive. When you're a kid and you aren't allowed to go anywhere or do anything else (though you could sit still and think) until you're done writing a paper, it'll be enough to make you avoid such an action in the future. It also served the purpose of making us think and helping us learn to write. Since my parents actually read the essays when we finished, it gave us the sense that we couldn't get away with things because they would be inspected. Also, since my parents tended to comment upon our work, we didn't feel distanced by our punishment, and learned to blame our actions/ourselves rather than the parent's displeasure with those actions.

Seven might be a little young to start a child on this punishment, however. I don't think I had to write essays until I was a little older (maybe eight and a half or nine?).

Answer 5

I don't know if a 7-year-old can be expected to memorize rules, but the most valuable technique I learned was called "1-2-3-Magic". At the count of 1 you explain what the child is doing wrong and what the consequences are if they continue to do it until you get to 3. If they continue, you remind them that this is their last chance to quit on their own or you will follow through with the discipline. At 3...it is best to choose an action that is related to what they were doing. Misusing something...take it away. Not cooperating...lose a privilege (if you don't do something for me, then I won't do something for you). I hope this helps : )

Answer 6

I had a reward system for my daughter for getting good marks in school but you could do it for each rule followed daily. I used poker chips but marbles or pennies could work too. I made a chart of what she could turn in her points to get. Examples:
3 points = a chocolate bar
5 points = a magazine
8 points = a movie rental
20 points = a sleepover of friends, all treats included
etc. Whatever you think it is worth. We had several options for each level and it changed year to year to keep up with her age and interests.

For discipline I'd unhook her tv or Nintendo or say she couldn't go to a birthday party..BUT she could earn her privileges back by doing certain chores. This worked great for me as well.

House Rules should be simple and realistic such as:
No bad language
No yelling/talking back
Put toys away
Go to bed when told
etc.

Good luck

Answer 7

I have found over the years that spanking, corners, and yelling do not work. what I have done for my 7 year old and 4 year old is start a coupon set up. I designed little coupons that are good for 30 minutes of an activity. They earn these coupons by doing chores around the house and by behaving. For example if they want to watch tv they need to acumlate enough coupons to accomadate the time needed for the show or out side time or whatever they want to do. I also put them in taekwondo and that has really helped out alot, especially for my 4 year old son because he used to be VERY naughty.

I have found that rewarding them for cleaning their own room isnt the best idea. For one thing its their room, and they need to learn to take responsibilty and clean it them selves. At 7 years old he should be cleaning his room by himself without help, and helping around the house like doing dishes, folding laundry, ect.
hope this helps!

Answer 8

A regular disiplined routine is best. Especially since you have such a full schedule he will know exactly what to expect every day whether you are home or not. Begin each day with him having a 15-20 min limit on getting up, dressing, and teeth brushing and then he can make his bed and put his bedclothes in the hamper. Breakfast and put his dishes in the sink or dishwasher.Next he should be ready for school or daycare and go to the car. His backpack or books should be put beside the door each night after lessons and studying. After he returns home he should do homework or study(practice writing or reading if there is no homework )every day for at least 15-30 min. He may have a longer attention span since he so smart. If it isn't too late he can a have a piece of fruit or 2 cookies with a small milk or juice. This part is up to you and his eating schedule. Some kids will not eat supper if they have a snack so it is best to make the snacks healthy/well balanced or to skip a snack and just have some milk or juice. Then he has chore time for taking out the trash or folding clothes or something his age can handle on his own. Then it is free time until the evening meal when everyone sits down and has a "conversation". Then you both clean up the dishes and kit together which also gives you time to bond and share your day while teaching him responsibilities.Next is time for you both to have fun together and make sure he has fun everyday with you.You can watch TV or have boardgame time if you are tired. He needs to be in bed by 8:30 or 9 every night at his age. You will then have time for studying and correspondence with your husband and friends.(by the way I am so thankful to you and him for serving our country and helping to keep us free!!!). 30 min before bed he needs to bathe,brush his teeth, put away his dirty clothes, hang up his wet towels and washclothes and rinse the sink from toothpaste.This will help him be responsible and will keep the house decent until you both have time on the weekends for a more thorough cleaning.You have to do the same things as he does mom! You must figure out what his consequense are if he misses doing anything on the list or if he backtalks, gets a bad grade,etc. If he doesn't pick up after his bath he may have to have his fav electronic game or toy taken away for a day or two. If he yells or trys to argue with you then he would need to have a stiffer consequence(maybe no tv for a week or no video games for a week) since he must learn to respect and obey you. I am so happy that you realize you need this now because it will help shape him into a responsible young man and he will understand consequences and that he has to follow rules.It will help in his social skills,repecting others and will follow him into adulthood so he can be a productive adult. Setting up rules and consequences now will help during the 10 yr old (MOUTH) stage and especially the teen yrs because he will have YEARS of knowing that when you say something you mean it. He will know exactly what his punishment will be and will be able to make an informed choice on that knowledge and will help set him up for more damanding choices(teens need to know how to make the right choice) when he isn't home.Make sure to PRAISE him when he does accomlish the rules each day because positive acknowledgement will build up his self-esteem. Never yell and never hit. Hitting just makes them mad because they are smaller and have to take it or they think their parents hate them because they hit them. Also they will grow up thinking that hitting is the answer to fixing problems!!! Best wishes and have a great life. Tell you husband how proud we are of him and the others over there! I wish my computer wasn't on the blink or I would send you some greeting cards I designed especially for the soldiers for you to send him. The guy above says that your son may be having a bad day or something is bothering him. Yes it is possible and that is why it is SO necessary to talk with your son daily so these things will naturally come up. You will have a good base to grow on and he will know that he can ask or tell you anything and that you will respect him and keep it between you and that you will help him with the problem. BUT you have to make sure he understands that he must be respectful even on bad days and not take it out on family or firends. Makd sure that he understands that out of control actions will NEVER help the problem.An allowance is ok but shouldn't be a reward. kids need to learn to do the right thing so they feel good about themselves for doing the right thing.NEVER NEVER bribe a child to do something,that will teach him to argue and manipulate you into giving him what he wants!! A set rule can never be compromised because that is the way real life is!

Answer 9

Yes we expect my 7 year old to foloow these rules..........no food or drink out of the kitchen, keep his room clean, respect his sisters and do not go in their rooms or mess with their stuff without permission, take the trash out, do his homework before playing and to treat everyone with respect. He gets an allowance each week of $5.00 and for every rule he breaks during the week he has to put 50 cents into the penalty jar along with loosing the privledge of his bile, video game, tv etc for a few days. He likes money so it didn't take him long to catch on that if he listened he got to get things and if he didn't mom did.

Answer 10

A seven year old can understand rules. My 7 yr. old listen very well. if he does not do what he is told then everything he enjoys is taken away from him until he learns to obey. now i don't have any trouble from him. he does his chores or homework when they are in school and he gets to play with his gameboys or x-box. I give him the choice.

Answer 11

im not sure what rules would work best for you, but one thing that i think is really important to keep in mind when youre making your house rules is to be positive about them... instead of saying "dont run in the house" say, "walk instead of run" or something like that.. avoid using the word no and dont... people in general respond to other people complimenting them on the things they do right instead of yelling at them for the things they do wrong, and kids especially go for this... if your boss is always yelling at you for everything you do wrong and never giving you praise for the good things you do, work would get very old and your respect for your boss will lessen and lessen... acknowlege when your child is doing something right, and let them know.. also when they are doing something wrong, let them know why its unacceptable... but try to focus on the positive things... thats just my opinion.. good luck!