Get free 10 pts if you can make me laugh.
2006-08-05 14:01:31 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
1.-There was a blonde woman that needed some money so she went to the park where she saw a little boy. She then wrote a note saying "I have kidnapped your child. Tomorrow put $5000 in a brown paper bag and leave it under the bench that’s next to the pine tree at the park." She taped the note to the kid and told him to go home to his mom and show her the note. Sure enough, the next day there was the brown paper bag under the bench, with all the money in it. Also in the bag was a note that said "HOW could you do this to a fellow blonde!?"
2006-08-05 14:57:25 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Little Johnny's next door neighbor had a baby. Unfortunately, the little baby was born with no ears. When they arrived home from the hospital, the parents invited Little Johnny's family to come over and see their new baby. Little Johnny's parents were very afraid their son would have a wise crack to say about the baby. So, Little Johnny's dad had a long talk with Little Johnny before going to the neighbors. He said, "Now, son...that poor baby was born without any ears. I want you to be on your best behavior and not say one word about his ears, or I'm really going to spank you when we get back home."
"I promise not to mention his ears at all," said Little Johnny.
At the neighbor's home, Little Johnny leaned over the crib and touched the baby's hand. He looked at its mother and said, "Oh, what a beautiful little baby!" The mother said, "Thank you very much, Little Johnny." He then said, "This baby has perfect little hands and perfect little feet. Why... just look at his pretty little eyes. Did his doctor say he can see good?" The Mother said, "Why, yes... his doctor said he has 20/20 vision." Little Johnny said, "Well, it's a damn good thing, cause he sure as hell can't wear glasses!"
-Thanks To Insultmonger.com
2006-08-05 21:35:32 · answer #2 · answered by jamican girl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why Do Elephants Paint There Testicals Red?
So They Can Hide In Cherry Trees!
2006-08-05 21:09:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm.. well got two jokes..
a panda walks into a restaurant and orders a sandwich.. he eats the sandwich, pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter.. "why?" groaned the injured man.. the panda shrugged and tossed him a badly punctured wildlife manual.. 'panda', ran the entry for his assailant, 'large animals native of china, eats shoots and leaves'...
geddit!? get the typo there?!
a newcomer to a prison cell was confused when everyone laughed if one of them called up a number.. bewildered he asked one of the inmates about it... 'we know our jokes so well that to save time we have numbered them'... thinking of joining in, he shouted '531!'... to his amazement everyone rored with laughter.. wiping his eyes, the inmate said 'we never heard THAT one before!'
a young girl from niger
smiled as she rode on a tiger
after the ride
she was inside
and the smile was on the face of the tiger
2006-08-06 13:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by Shariq M 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yesterday at work a really hot guy came into my job to sell sunglasses. he was on the other side of the counter and i was at the back of the store only half paying attention to him since i had a dog on my table( im a dog groomer). i thought he left when i explicitly expressed how hot he was to my friend and as i turned around to face her i saw him popping back up. apparently his case was on the floor and he was closing it. he said thank you i turned red, and Amy will be laughing at me for weeks now. hope it made you laugh too.
2006-08-05 21:48:08 · answer #5 · answered by chi-kita 27 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The points are not given for free. We have to make you laugh, and that's working! Ah, forget it!
2006-08-05 21:30:10 · answer #6 · answered by mrquestion 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ever had a nightmare and tried to tell somebody about it, and halfway through your explanation, you realize, you're retarded?
Person 1:"I had a scary dream last night..."
Person 2:"Ok, tell me about it"
Person 1:"Well, I was running through this pool of marshmallows in my flip-flops, right? Then the manager came running out of nowhere, and he starts going "MMMHHHEEEEHHHHMMMMMMMM, rrrrrrrhhhhhmmmmMMMMMRRRMM", and there's only 18 seconds to eject before the bowling alley closed. And, Tom, you were there, but you didn't look like Tom, and that was freaking me out... I love cheese!"
Person 2:"What? We're no longer friends"
2006-08-05 21:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by easilydissolved 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is the difference between a baby and a onion? No one cries when you chop up the baby.
Sadistic isn't it?
2006-08-05 21:18:39 · answer #8 · answered by DeepBlue 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
2006-08-05 22:21:14 · answer #9 · answered by 42ITUS™ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I don't know you well enough yet ..hehe !!!
What did the receptionist at a sperm clinic say to the clients when they are ready too leave ?? give up : Thanks for coming... HAHAHA i need the points..hehe
2006-08-05 21:07:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋