Is this an excuse??

Question

ok ...... i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years, before he used to be very sweet but now everything have changed.
I've try to talk to him (we have good communication..) about my feelings, cuz i feel that he is not the same anymore, he doesnt say i love u or appreciated what i do for him. Im always there for him, trying to help him in every way possible, but i feel that its not good enough.
Most of the time we fight and he gets mad very easily.
Now, the excuse that he always gives me..is that he is busy and very stress and that he doest have time for "lovy dovy" stuff!!
Im not asking him to bring me the moon everyday, everything that i ask for is just a little appreciation and understanding that he is hurting my feelings.
I have never been in a long relationship, and i dont know what to do.
Could it be my fault?, am i asking too much???

Answer 1

Absolutely not, I have a friend that is in almost the exact situation and I really hate it for her, and what's worse is that she has two young kids. She wants it to work out so bad that I have litterally cried for her. I've tried to explain that she can do better, I know that you love him you've obviously exhausted every idea of how you can make it work, or else you wouldn't be asking such an awful and rediculous question like is it your fault. Me and my friend were both born and raised in Oklahoma and he is from Texas. He actually left her once and moved back to Texas -(and she did ok, heartbroken, but she was getting better with everyday. After about 2 weeks he was begging for her forgiveness and then convinced her to give him another chance for the kids sakes. Now she is in Texas and has no car, no money, and no friends or family. Some nights she calls crying wondering and asking me what she 's doing wrong, because he is constantly hateful and breaks her spirit. I don't want to see anyone else go through what she has put up with. She was such a strong, independent single mother and widow before she got with this man(if that's what you want to call him). And just like your situation these things didn't start happening right away, it was several comittments and years (about 3) later.

Don't let him make you think for a second that it is your fault - An average b/f tells his g/f of three years that he loves her on a regular basis - maybe not everyday, but enough that it isn't a question. Just because the two of you have been together long enough that he is completely comfortable with being hisself in front of you is no excuse to be a jackass all the time. He has to respect and appreciate you.

Everyone is entitled to bad days - I'm sure my b/f can tell you a few stories about my bad days - and vice versa. But those bad days pass, and he should think about how stressful his life would be without you.

I hope this help you see that you are not at fault and you've done nothing wrong - Even the occasional bitching he should over look - I mean you wouldn't be so bitchy if he would treat you like a real woman. His other half.

Good Luck
~Kendra~

Answer 2

It's easy for people to say dump him, but that is hard to do when you love someone. Three yrs is a long time. You will have to look inside yourself to see how your really feel. Maybe something has changed with his feelings and he just doesn't know how to tell you. Perhaps he doesn't want to hurt you. You will have to sit him down and try to get out of him what is really going on. If you can't live with what he says then it may be time to move on.

Answer 3

It's hard to break up with someone. Although guys do insensitive stuff all the rime we still forgive them because it's so hard for us to let go. But if he hurts you so much you have to start thinking about yourself too. If he really loves you he wouldn't do anyhting that will hurt you so youust tell him how you feel. If he will not change his treatment you have to move on.

Answer 4

I think you should go with the flow.....If you know that he isnt cheating on you and that when he says he is dong something he is actually doing what he says he is then cut him some slack...But if he isnt there for you when you need him. or if he isnt where he is telling you he is going to be then there is something move and you either confront him point blank or just move on and do your thing...Meanwhile keep him there right where he is and he might realize that your concentrating on you now and that your main focus isnt him that might trigger some kind of response in him.. Good LucK

Answer 5

He needs a wake up call. Slow down on doing so much for find something to keep you busy. I think he likes the control don't let him have it.

Answer 6

the trouble isnt you its him some guys just dont realize how good they have sometimes leave him then he will start to miss that "lovy dovy" stuff

Answer 7

Say goodbye to the fool. He doesn't appreciate you so why put up with it. find someone who does and be happy. And no its not your fault he's the one with problem.

Answer 8

No, if you've tried talking to him and he doesn't listen that's not your fault.I think it's time to move on.I'm in the same situation but my problem is a have his child.Move on befor it gets worse. :}

Answer 9

Honey he's taking you for granted, its time to dump him and find somebody
more appreciative

Answer 10

he does not care about your feelings. It is time to move on dear and find you a real man.