Is my ex playing me like a frickin' harmonica?

Question

My ex boyfriend (We're 24 and we dated for four years) broke up with me via text message (yeah, I know) a while back. I shouldn't want him back, but I do. I love him, or else I wouldn't have dated him for all those years.

Anyway, he finally started talking to me again and says that he still loves me and wants to date me again someday, but right now, he wants to date other people. This doesn't make any sense to me, but I have very little dating experience, so it could be a normal thing. It sounds to me like he's just stringing me along in case things don't work out with his current girlfriend.

What do you all think? I know it's hard to tell the situation from just this brief question, but surely someone has some sort of insight into it. Is it possible that he's telling the truth and maybe just needs a break after four years? Does that ever happen, or do you think I was right, and he IS stringing me along?

Say what, Tim? I think you may have misread. I didn't hurt HIM (as far as I know)--he's the one that broke up with me by sending me a text message.

Answer 1

Yes. Yes he is. Because he's a guy. :)

The "I'm dating someone else, but I want to date you again" is insincere. I mean, when you think about it, without any emotions... which I know you can't right now, since it's happening to you, but anyway! It's unfair, either to you or to the other girl. It means that he isn't willing to put everything into his relationship that he's in now (and you -know- he isn't telling her that he still loves you and wants to date you again someday) and at that point you have to ask: "If he can do that to someone else, what's stopping him from doing it to me?"

If he does just need a break after four years, what happens after eight? Or twelve? Will you be married but he needs a break and decides to break it off to be with Ms. My Boobs Aren't Sagging For Another Ten Years?

Of course you'll want him back, for just the reason that you said. But that's also why you shouldn't take him back, and shouldn't dwell on it (which is easier said than done, I know.)

Really, the best thing you could do right now is to make friends and hang out with them. Hell, if nothing else it'll make him upset because you -aren't- upset. Because you got over him so quickly, or something like that. Don't let him know you're upset.

And don't find just a quick hook up, or something like that. They never end well. Someones feelings will get hurt, either yours or Random Boy Number X... I mean, maybe it'd work out, but... Course, that's a whole different question, innit?

Answer 2

Casey ~
There's no fool like a fool in love, I know, I was you once. You seem to have a pretty good head on your shoulders and you're attractive, at least your photo is. There's still plenty of time for you to find Mr. Right stop trying to fix Mr. Wrong. You can't make him him love you or respect you and from what you have wrote he has neither for you. The whole idea of being in love has seemed to overcome your senses especially logic. Try this Case, answer your own questions above as if your very best friend in the whole wide world had asked you for the same advice or imagine it would be your younger sister by two or three years and see if you would sit by and let some idiot take advantage of their precious hearts. You have much more to offer than this bozo will ever know and you my dear, you are so much better than you know.

Answer 3

I think he is stringing you along. It could be as you say keep you around in case the other doesn't work. Or doesn't have the nerve to tell you the truth, kinda like texting you good bye good luck . Even though you still have feelings for him, don't torture yourself with him playing you like a harmonica as you put it. Ignore him for awhile and see what he does.

Answer 4

This is a tough one... ... ...
From what you've mentioned it seems he cares but it also seems he wants to "sow his oats".

He is probably scared of committing any further right now because you folks are still young. Even though y'all got 4 yrs under your belt it seems he wants to see what else is out there.

I know there's a lot of love & memories involved but just be cautious regardless whether you choose to make it work or not. I honestly have a feeling that you are gonna hurt worse trying to keep his heart while he has his cake & eat it too and i say that because a lot of people have been down this road, including myself. Good luck.

Answer 5

You are asking the same question again so you didn't get the answer you wanted to hear. Like I said before he is stringing you along and it's time for you to move on with your life unless you like being stringed alone like a puppet then more power to you.

Answer 6

No, he isn't stringing you along. And, there's no doubt he loves you.
The thing that seems difficult for people to understand is that you can "love" someone but not necessarily want to be with that person.
Essentially, he isn't ready to commit. And the text message break up ~ do you really want a guy who has so little respect for your feelings?
His loss, sweetie, not yours...

Answer 7

He wants to keep you on the shelf while he shops around for someone "better." If he finds her, you'll never see him again. If after awhile he can't find anyone "better," he'll want to come back to you. I would dump him. He sounds too immature for a serious relationship, and if he ever comes back to you, deep down he'll feel he always "settled" for less than he really wanted.... otherwise, he'd stick with you. Dump him: you deserve a guy who thinks you are special, not a guy who thinks "you'll do if I can't find anyone better."

Answer 8

I think because of the break up and they way you went about it he probably is having second thoughts.
I am sure he still cares about you, but you hurt him.
Always think before you make big decisions like that, you may regret it.

Answer 9

If you love you, he would be with the other girl. I say you move on with you life.