Parents of kids (10-15) Do you allow your kids to date? And if so why?

Question

Don't you think they are way too young to date? Or even to group date for that matter??? What is so wrong with making them wait until they are at least 16. Were you allowed to date at that age?

I will not allow my kids to date, group date or do anything else for that matter until they are 16. No ifs, buts, mights or maybes about it.
I am will also ( my son is 3 & I have 1 due in Dec.) teach my kids that sex out of marriage is wrong & bad. They will learn that there is no need for it outside of a marriage. They will learn about birth control also. If they choose to disobey me they will be responsable for them selves. Sex is an adult act and they will have to get there own birth control with their own money. And if they or if they get some one pregnant. They will be forced to move out of our house and get a job and marry the person. We will not give them a cent. As I said. Sex is an adult act. If they choose to have it then they need to grow up & be responceable for everything

If they want to stay in my house then the baby must be placed for adoption.

I don't believe in giving my kids cell phones unless they can pay for it them selves. Teens don't need them.

I was not allowed to date or even be by myself until I was 16. I grew up just fine. So will my kids.

Answer 1

I think you need to work on being a little more understanding, the way you are talking I wouldn't be suprised if you kids grew up to resent you. Why are you worried about them dating when the are 10 -15 when your son is only 3 and the other one not born yet? Maybe you are a little bit crazy, or slighty out of touch with reality? Maybe you should worry about something like "do you allow your son to poop in his pants?" or whatever it is that normal people worry about when they are 3 and 0.

PS. why did you even ask the question? it doesn't seem like you were looking for an answer but more like an excuse to state your personal opinion.

Answer 2

My daughter will be 14 in two weeks and starting her freshman year we have told her that when it comes to a dance at school she can go with a date but we will take them and pick them up at the set time. I too wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 and I remember going out with my friends and meeting a boy there behind my parents back and I do not want this with my own children. I believe that if you are open and honest with them and allow them some freedom that they are a lot less likely to sneak around and end up in trouble.

Answer 3

Neither of my kids (boys) started dating until after they turned 16. I have a 20 year old and a 16 year old. The 16 year old is not permitted to have his girlfriend at our house without a parent present and the same applies when he goes to her house. I communicate with the other parents regularly and make sure we share the same standards.

Its confusing however because you're talking about teaching them about not having sex until after they get married (I agree with this philosophy), but in the same paragraph, you talk about teaching them about birth control and if they end up parenting a child outside of marriage, then it's "see ya later...bye bye!" You're contradicting yourself. You're oldest isn't even in school yet and you've decided to practically disown him/her for not living up to your standard.

I'd say the first thing you need to teach your kids is a little unconditional love...it goes a lot farther and will have a more positive impact.

Answer 4

wow, i admire you for saying that, especially today, when the young adult's psyche is so driven by sex. I am university age, and my parents never let me date until i was 16, and even then they didn't like it. i thought it was stupid, but now i'm glad they brought me up that way. so many kids are screwed up by what they watch on TV and see in magasines, and i think it is mostly their parents fault for letting them be exposed to such adult themes at young ages. PLEASE stick to your guns and tell 'em that SEX IS WRONG if you aren't married! It will solve so many problems for them in the future, and keep them from mistakes they will regret. But, you know, even though i feel as strongly as i do on the subject, i am still scared that one day i may make a mistake and get myself into trouble. If your kids do ever get pregnant, don't be too hard on them, especially if they really did try to walk the straight and narrow...everyone makes mistakes, and having a baby in high school would punishment enough for the kid, socially and morally. Always be ready to forgive and be supportive. I know that's what i'd want of my parents, and it would kill me if they turned their back on me or the baby!
Well, i know your kids will grow up to be very respectable young men/women after everyhting you've said... it IS worth it!

Answer 5

Absolute Rules are easy to have when your kids are small. You need to wait and see the maturity level of your children when they are teens. I agree with no one on one dates until 16. However group activities are okay after 14 or so depending on the child.

If you limit that until 16 then open the floodgates at 16, they will be behind in many social skills and your plan will likely backfire. They need some years to "ease into it".

Answer 6

I have a 10 year old and am not even thinking dating yet!

I believe at 16 group dating is ok.


I don't believe it is wise to force someone into marrying.

Answer 7

there's a extensive distinction between a 10 year previous and a fifteen year previous! the ten year previous remains in grade college and specific staring at cartoons. Scratch the caricature area, I definitely have universal some little ones who watch them at 15. i could desire to declare the suitable age could be 13 for college dances and diverse boy / lady daylight hours action picture dates. Then artwork as much as night dates. i think of a few of those human beings are puzzling "dating" with having "sexual family". sturdy grief peoples! it is seeing a action picture and popcorn, or curler skating with mom and dad choosing up the little ones later on.

Answer 8

They are absolutely too young to date. I have been thru it with my oldest so I am speaking from experience. They are not mentally ready for dating and it can be very dangerous. If they think they're in love then you are in trouble. Their perspective on everything will change along with their focus. We barely made it thru it, our son finally ditched her and got his 4-year degree and is now living on his own but it was touch an go for a while. You are absolutely correct to not allow the early dating. Patience is a virtue. Make them wait till they're seniors (even that's too young).

Answer 9

Why would a 10 yr. old need to go on a date?? That's way too young. Kids tend to go out in mixed groups of both boys and girls now a days. Even when my daughter went to Homecoming they went out in a large group.
Before you make a steadfast rule about even allowing group dating, I encourage you to consider the circumstances. I allowed my daughter to go out in a group but I knew the parents of the kids, I knew all of the kids, I knew where they were going, and I set a curfew. If you don't allow your kid to go out at 16 then you are going to have one resentful 16 yr. old. A kid who may lie or sneak out to be with their friends if you don't let them,

Answer 10

I completly agree! My kids won't even group date until around 16-17. There's no need to one on one date until they're ready for marriage.