2006-08-05 11:51:01 · 8 answers · asked by coach 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Birth parent had contact with son once every 15-18 months from age 4-11 then completely left. Now back and bombarding him with I love you's... Even wrote him a graduation check that bounces when my son put it in his account. My son is stressed about this contact. I just need to know how to help him. I am sure he is curious about her, but also the things she says hurt him and like I said strains our relationship, because she says things like I am ur mom not her and if you loved me. I am so torn on what to do.
2006-08-05 12:02:42 · update #1
I believe that as an adoptive parent ( which I am ) that if you son wants to know about his biological parents, sit down with him and tell him, while you may want to meet them you must remember that things may or may not turn out to match your expectations. Let him know that you are there for him and will support him. Let him know that you are secure in his decision. You must equally be sure that you feel secure and not threatened by what the outcome could be if he chooses to make this connection. I would sit him down at a table and tell him You and his dad would like to speak to him. Knowing that you are secure in yourself and what decision he makes could make things easier for him to make that decision.
2006-08-05 12:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your son has no obligation to see his birth parents. He should tell this this in a blunt, short letter. He should start returning their cards, letters, etc. unopened. (He should have returned the check rather than trying to cash it.) If all else fails, see an attorney about what his legal possibilities might be.
2006-08-05 12:16:29 · answer #2 · answered by williegod 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he wants to see his birth parent let him, because he'll hate you if you don't. however, explain to him your feelings for him, and that you have always been there for him. tell him that a mother is not just the person who gives birth to you, she is the person who takes care of you. tell him how much you love him, and he is still your son, he just has 2 moms, a biological mom and the mom that raised him. tell him he is always your son no matter what! it's ok to have 2 moms!
2006-08-05 11:59:16 · answer #3 · answered by musicislife1233 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a tough time this must be for you. Be supportive of your son. If he wants contact with them, then just let him know you're o.k. and there for him. It's a normal thing to want to fill in your blanks and find out where you came from. He knows who raised him and loved him and who his "real" parents are. I wish all of you luck.
2006-08-05 11:57:25 · answer #4 · answered by ore2nc 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say keep the birth parents away.. obviously they gave up parenting rights when they decided not to take care of their son.
2006-08-05 11:54:51 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say leave that decision up to him. He is 18. If he wants to see his birth parent, he has that right. If he doesn't, he has that right as well. It's 100% his decision.
2006-08-05 11:55:33 · answer #6 · answered by Ashley P 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Very carefully, just like any parent would. Respect your 18 yr old and support what he decides if it turns out all wrong, just have your arms ready and waiting.
2006-08-05 12:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by NorShor4 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe his parents couldnt take care of him financially and now they want to see him. let them. u never know why they gave him up for adoption, it could have been out of their hands - he could have been in danger and they put him up for adoption so that he wouldnt get hurt
2006-08-05 11:56:13 · answer #8 · answered by abc 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋