My husband got drunk and went crazy the other day. he started hitting me about 6 times and the head. then he hit my dad, finely we called cops and he in jail. Am i crazy for missing him, Am i crazy for still loveing him.
2006-08-05 11:25:00 · 38 answers · asked by amanda_ploof 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i got a 4 month old baby boy
2006-08-05 11:43:49 · update #1
Girl, you most definately are not crazy, just very confused...there should be NO reason whatsoever-I don't care- about you being hit. I understand that you miss him, I've been there, but you have to understand that you HAVE to be strong, b/c no one deserves to live in fear. Maybe your husband has a drinking problem?? Do you have kids? I'ts better to be alone than being w/ him and fearing for your life. Do you want your child to see and grow up with his habits???
I suggest anger management classes for him and self-esteem for you. Leaving was THE hardest thing I'd ever done in my LIFE - I'd rather be alone than with some brain damage or end up dead in the house because of physical abuse by a loved one... he needs help, if de doesn't get it, girl...move on... you deserve RESPECT...
2006-08-05 11:34:43 · answer #1 · answered by guitarldy9 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry that you and your family are experiencing such a horrible thing. Your not crazy for loving him but you may be confusing love with fear of being alone. Perhaps a mixture of fear of being alone and partly loving him. I'm sad to say that his behavior will countinue. If I understand correctly the only time he has hit so far is the time he got drunk.
You have two choices here.
1. Be strong and leave him. Your family and friends will be there to suport you. It sounds like you may want to seek a counseler. Am I right when I say that you think that YOU can change him? A lot of us women want to save and change a person. This is a natural thing because we as females naturaly want to nuture.
2. You can stay with him hope he changes maybe even get beaten again.
ok 3 choices...
3. You both can get counseling but still live in seperate households for awhile and then see if their is any progress. This would be an iffy road though. I preceive your husband has a drinking problem.
Personally I would choose # 1 But that's just me. I would not only want to protect myself but also my family.
All the best to you and your family!
2006-08-05 11:48:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not crazy for loving him. Love knows no boundries and has no conditions but it wouldn't be smart to stay with him, especially with children. If he doesn't get help then the abuse will only get worse. Don't cave in if he sweet talks you. Don't let him lay a guilt trip on you. More than likely he will try these tactics to get you to take him back. If you start to give in then think about your child. Do you want your child to grow up in an abusive relationship? Do you want your child to think abusive relationships are normal? I know it's hard and scary (I've been there) but the best thing to do is to keep him away. Good luck to you! There are support groups you can get involved in that will help you in any way you need.
2006-08-05 16:07:23 · answer #3 · answered by Mollywobbles 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is your fear of being alone. I am guessing this is not the first time your spouse has gotten drunk nor abused you in some form. The good news is you are not alone. There are multiple support groups for family members of both alcoholics and abusers. I encourage you to immediately contact one of them and get to some support group meetings. Right now, you are mourning the dismantling of your marriage and that hurts when you took your vows seriously. But, having married to an alcoholic for 19 years, I can assure you that after the first time, it only escalates and you are better off getting out now. DO NOT LISTEN to his promises that he will get help. If he does and you see he is serious, it is a lifelong commitment he must keep so you now have to decide if you want the rest of your life to be a roller coaster.
2006-08-05 11:31:41 · answer #4 · answered by Jan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't crazy, but if you keep letting him beat on you, you may end up dead. Please don't listen to him when he tells you how sorry he is and how it will never happen again, unless he gets help it will happen again. It understandable that you miss him and love him, but the person you miss and love is the one who doesn't get drunk and mistreat you, no one I know misses being beat on and threatened. If you don't want to live in fear and put others you love in danger, make it clear to your husband that you and he will not be together again until he gets help and can prove that he can and will stay away from booze and stop being abusive. It's all up to you, if you let him come back you have only yourself to blame for what happens to you. I wish you the best, it isn't going to be easy.
2006-08-05 11:39:01 · answer #5 · answered by janrena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are not crazy for loving him still. love ,does not go away over night. however, sending him to jail was a good thing. no one has a right to put there hands on no one!!!. hitting your father as well? he is out of control. is he an alcoholic? he needs anger managemnt and you know this.if you do take him back make sure he is completely well or you will have future beatings ect,ect. ive been threw this. e-mail me at ryoutrue2@yahoo.com and i can call you personally and we can talk properly. you will learn some things and this will help open up your eyes.your friend kat
2006-08-05 11:57:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You aren't crazy for loving him or missing him because you cant help who you love. BUT you should leave him because no one has the right to hit someone when it is not self defense, especially when it is a spouse. If it happened to me, I would have been at a lawyers office the next day.
2006-08-05 11:32:49 · answer #7 · answered by gin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about that but know ur not crazy about missing him because it is perfectly normal! But what u need 2 do is talk 2 some one new and u know another way 2 feel better is get a little lesbian sex!
2006-08-05 11:31:10 · answer #8 · answered by MiseryBusiness 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't just turn off your emotions for someone you love...sometimes no matter what they have done. Now is the time to seriously consider your future with your husband. There are obvious anger and alcohol issues. There may have been circumstances leading to his attack but this does not excuse him for what he did. If there are children involved then I think you have to put your feelings to one side and consider them in this. It has happened once and it is not a safe enviroment for you. I send my best wishes to you and your father. I hope you let your head rule in this decision and not your heart. Anger management may be the way for your husband. I hope he can deal with the obvious issues he has too. Best of luck xxxx
2006-08-05 11:33:26 · answer #9 · answered by minitheminx65 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have been trough this exact situation, it is hard, no you are not crazy for feeling the way you do there is always be emotions involved in situations like that, it sucks. but what you have to know and try to remeber is that if he did it once he'll do it again no matter what he says and each time it will get worse. if you need anyone to talk to let me know sarahull2003@yahoo
good luck girl remember you are not the first and definetly not the lst woman in the world that has has to deal with this **** before
2006-08-05 11:30:30 · answer #10 · answered by blue_eyed_woman_23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋