Any moms who breastfeed older babies out there?

Question

Background: 1st baby was b/f for less than 2 weeks, it just didn't work out. 2nd baby b/f for 22 months, didn't seem so bad but got tedious near the end. Self-weaned. 3rd baby is 13 months and I've about had it, LOL!

He will take a bottle or sippy cup, but if he's really tired then forget it. This sucks because I'm going to be taking a nightclass or two this fall. His daddy's not much help so I've got to do this on my own.

2 questions: Did you feel resentment toward or about nursing as baby got older? How did you overcome those feelings of being tied down?

And two, any tips for weaning? I've tried cutting out one feeding a day and it just isn't working. He still won't even sleep through the night. Sometimes he wakes up four and five times to be nursed back to sleep. I let him cry it out, consoling him every 15 minutes or so but he howls for about 2 hours before I give in and feed him. HELP!

Um yeah, I would never put chillies or what have you on my nipples. That is pretty damn mean.

I'm sorry, so many awesome answers. You've all given me so much to think about. I gotta put this "baby" to a vote. I can't pick just one! Thank you!!!

Answer 1

Who will be taking care of him while you're taking night classes? It's amazing, but some babies who "won't go to sleep without nursing" will actually do it if you're not there. You might want to try it one night and see--leave the house for a couple of hours, but don't go too far in case it doesn't work. Either visit a neighbor (and leave the phone number) or be sure to bring a cell phone. You may be surprised.

As for weaning, it might be more trouble than it's worth. How will you get your baby back to sleep when he wakes at night if nursing is the only thing that works? Instead of waking up for a few minutes a few times a night, you may find that you're up for hours trying to get him back to sleep. I would suggest waiting on weaning at least until he doesn't need to nurse overnight.

Yes, I've had times when nursing a toddler was a pain. But most of the time, I've enjoyed it. I can't imagine parenting a toddler *without* nursing; it's great for avoiding or recovering from tantrums, treating the inevitable falls, and getting a toddler to sleep reasonably easily. All that makes it worth living with the times it's a pain. But that's *my* experience; yours may be different.

P.S. You're right--the chili peppers is *mean*!! Why would you want to end such a positive relationship with a lie and pain?!

Answer 2

I nursed my youngest until he was almost 18 months. He just didn't want to give up his boobie, even though he was only getting it once or twice a day. I didn't feel resentment, I was just tired of doing it. I was ready to be done, and I think the only reason I nursed him as long as I did is because he is my last. I just didn't want to face the fact that my last baby wasn't a baby anymore. The only thing I can tell you is to not give in on the night feedings. At first, maybe only give him one. After he's been getting only one for a while, then make him cry it out. I know I'm probably going to get slammed for this, but for a while, when I had stopped nursing, I would put the baby in bed between my husband and myself and he would go right back to sleep. It worked for us. He was still getting comfort and closeness from mommy in the night, but he didn't wake up crying every half hour. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm still nursing my 20 month old and I'm 2 months pregnant, so trust me when I say I understand how you feel. However, I'm not going to wean her anytime soon. I do not feel resentment towards my daughter. I've never felt tied down. Probably because I just take my daughter with me where ever I go. It's really easy, just need to pack some diapers and we're off.

Visit www.mothering.com/discussions There is a forum just for mom's nursing older babies. They will also suggest ways to gently wean you child (don't put chile peppers on your nips, that's just mean!) At 13 months old, he might not be ready to not eat at night. My daughter has a fast metabolism and can't go more than 2 hours without eating something solid or nursing.

Hang in there mama!

Answer 4

I completely understand how you feel. In fact, you have a child just like mine. :) My 18 month old is a breast addict. He nurses several times a night and quite often during the day. I've tried limiting it but he's flat out not ready. He still needs that comfort and I'm happy knowing he's getting the nutritional boost.

I also get resentful at times and sometimes I get flat out angry. I try to remind myself how precious these moments are. Every time he nurses I think of the emotional benefits I'm giving him at that moment. I also use nursing sessions as a time to sit back and relax for a couple minutes.

Something else I try to remember, each child has different emotional needs and those needs have to be met a certain way. Some children get their emotional needs met by a blanket or stuffed animals. My child does not (he has never attached to any sort of object). He gets his emotional needs met through nursing. That's just who he is and by changing that, I would be forcing him to change an aspect of his personality, which is destruction. I just hope sometime in the next year or so, he learns to find comfort elsewhere. :)

I definetely know how you feel. You are not alone!

Answer 5

A study has shown that b/f a child for 18 months is the best as breast milk is much superior than cow milk or formula. The kid will grow up being smarter and having less diseases and mother milks promotes the formation of a good immune system in the child's body. Breastfeed the kid late at nigh for a good time and supplement it with a good natural formula so the kid can sleep and feel full. Some kid suffers from separation anxiety after frequent and routine breast feeding sessions!! so talk to the kid about being loved!!! best wishes! You may want to use a "quinine" ointment for your nipple as it taste bitter!!

Answer 6

According to the World Health Organization, the average age for weaning is 4.2 years, with 2.5 - 7 years being within the range of normal. Your problem is likely that you're doing it too soon, instead of letting the child tell you when he's ready to grow up. He'll resist until either you give in, or he learns to not look to you for comfort and nourishment.

Common side-effects of early weaning include nightmares, recurring ear infections, lower immunity to illness, bedwetting, difficulties in other growing up areas (such as resistance to potty training), malnutrition, lifelong picky eating habits, difficulty bonding to and trusting parents, an increase in allergies and asthma, and a higher risk of needing orthodontic treatment later in life.

Your resentment and frustration is likely related to a lack of support for women who breastfeed past 12 months, and our culture being very individualistic and not designed to work well with the long-term task of nurturing and raising children. I overcame these feelings by simply recognizing that my baby is important to me, that I need him to be physically and emotionally healthy so that I can feel confident and content with how good a job I'm doing. I wouldn't worry about your night classes. My experience is, if Mom isn't present, baby will wait until Mom is back. He may not be thrilled about it, but it's not the end of the world, just like when Mom leaves and always comes back in the first place.

If you really want to wean, though, half of his reason for nursing is comfort and nurturing, so he'll need a pacifier or something to comfort and nurture himself. And the other half is nutrition, so he'll need to be on toddler formula to replace the nutrients in human milk, since toddlers are horrendously picky and erratic about how much they eat. If you meet those two needs, it should be a little easier.

Answer 7

At 13 months your little one should be eating solids with liquids only to supplement. Is he getting a good solid dinner before bed?

I don't mean to sound mean, but his night fussing will continue as long as you keep giving in. Offer him an alternative instead - a cup of water (no juice at night!), a blankie or stuffie to cuddle, a pacifier. If he is getting a good diet of solids, then he is probably nursing for comfort rather than hunger and you can encourage alternative comfort methods. He may not take to them right away, but if you give in the problem is likely to persist.

If he will take a cup instead of nursing most of the time and only insists on nursing when he is tired, then it is most likely a comfort issue. One of my kiddos insists on a blankie - we give him a small receiving blanket to keep with him. Another one is rather attached to his little stuffed bear. Every kiddo is different and it's a matter of persistence and trying different things to see what clicks.

Answer 8

just stop cold turkey my son was 8 months he wasn't latching on right towards the end and started getting a tummy ache i did get frustrated towards the end but just don't give in to your son sence he takes sippys and bottles when he gets thirsty he'll take them good luck

Answer 9

My first child nursed until he was 3.5 years. My middle child nursed until she was 22 months. My youngest is still nursing at 3.5 years.

Don't put anything nasty on your nipples and don't wean cold turkey. I have a feeling that you're smart enough to know that both of those approaches would be mean! And weaning cold turkey could also be potentially really difficult on your body. Cold turkey weaning leads to painful engorgement, possible plugged ducts and possible mastitis (painful breast infection) for mom. AND not to mention that it's very stressful on baby.

Keep in mind that nursing is a relationship between TWO people. If something isn't working in the relationship, then you may need to find a way for things to change. AND, since it's a relationship between two people, sometimes it involves some compromise on both parts. It sounds like your little boy still has a very intense need to nurse. Setting some limits may really help you to find ways to meet his need to nurse but also help you feel that you have some control and you aren't lost in the relationship.

Who will be watching him while you are in class? Dad? Someone else? Will the person he stays with need to put him to sleep due to the timing of your class? I'm assuming that a lot of the stress you seem to be feeling is related to what will happen while you are away from him for your class.

I'd suggest that, for now, you start out by setting some nursing limits if you haven't already. Talk to your son about having "big nee-nee" and "little nee-nee" (or whatever his word for nursing is). If you are feeling that you don't want to be sitting still for a long time nursing or you are feeling resentment, tell him that "this will be little nee-nee" and you can even set a definate limit by telling him you'll count to 10 or slowly sing the alpahbet song and then he is done. This may help you feel like you have a little more control in the relationship but his needs are still being met in a loving way.

My oldest only went to sleep while nursing until I had to go back to work at about 15 weeks. Dad had to walk, rock, pat, etc. him to sleep while I worked. They figured it out. Once you are away at class, if your little guy has a loving caregiver, they will probably work out their own routines as well. It might not hurt if they got some chances to work on that before you go back to school. He'll be more likely to be willing to go to sleep without nursing if he knows you aren't there.

Later, I night weaned my oldest when he was about 21-22 months but continued nursing him during the day. (I was PG with #2 and couldn't take the night nursing any more. There had to be a compromise to keep the relationship positive.) My husband's help and support was CRUCIAL. Honestly, I think you need to tell Daddy that parents are a team and he needs to stop being "not much help" and pull his weight on the team. It may mean Dad's life is a little harder for a few days, but in the long run it will make things easier on all of you.

To work on night-time weaning, I'd suggest involving Dad in the night-time routine. Have Dad do jammies, brush teeth, read a story, etc. Then he can come to you for nursing just until he is *sleepy* but NOT asleep and then you turn him back over to Dad who goes to lay down with him in bed or rock him to sleep. Dad can take a sippy cup of water with him to offer him. There may be a little crying.....but the important part is that HE IS NOT ALONE because he has a loving grown up right there with him to comfort him. He's not left to "cry it out" on his own because he has Dad with him. (This was what we did with my oldest when I night weaned him at about 22 months. It worked well for us, but you son is so much younger......hopefully it will work for you too.) This will help get him to the point of being used to someone else comforting him to sleep. Then, when you come home from class, maybe you can bring him into bed with you if he wakes to nurse?

Not sleeping through thre night at 13 months is pretty normal. All three of my kiddos were still night nursing at that age. As I said, I night weaned my oldest at about 21-22 mos and kept nursing him during the day. My middle child night weaned herself at about 18 months and then self weaned at 22 months. My youngest is still night nursing, but she has cut down a lot in the past 6 months or so and occasionally goes all night without nursing but not consistently. All children are different!

Answer 10

My daughter put chili pepper on her nipple. It did burn but she wash it right away. The trick works.