she still talks to her ex, not very often as far as I know and sometimes hangs out with him maybe once a month at most. When we first started dating, about 2 years ago, he used to call her ALL the time and they talked ALL the time. I recently found out that in the beginning she was still seeing him while she was seeing me and that's the reason why she had stopped talking to him for over 8 months. He came back and "we're good friends now". I trust her, but I truly think he is trying to win her back. She tells me she has no romantic feelings for him, but she doesn't know if he does. Yet, she still goes out alone with him occasionally. He doesn't want to meet me because she says it'd be an awkward situation. She doesn't want to stop hanging out with him b/c she's known him close to 10 years. His father passed away about 10 months ago and she had been there to help him though it. She says he and she are over. she knows I want to marry her some day, says if we wed I can meet him then?
2006-08-05 10:41:37 · 29 answers · asked by mike! 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If she is still seeing her ex, that means they have not parted totally. Let her go and maybe she will straighten out and realize what a nice person she could have had.
2006-08-05 10:45:55 · answer #1 · answered by thebulktiny 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you feel uncomfortable about this - then you have probably been given good reason to.
If you keep on with this relationship, it'll always eat at you and you'll always have that insecurity.
The 'be true to yourself' rule applies here.
Now that you've actually acknowledged the problem here on this forum, did you feel better about writing it down thinking other people would acknowledge your same concerns?
There comes a time in a relationship that you forget about who you really are and give in to others to avoid problems or avoid answers that leave us feeling the same as before we asked.
The behavior of your girlfriend is unacceptable for your own peace of mind and since she was still seeing him in the beginning and has continued should tell you that there is always going to be something there between them - leaving little room for her attentions toward you.
You're probably already thinking that this should be over so be true to yourself and let it go - find a girl without ties to her ex and is more into you as you are her.
2006-08-05 18:00:15 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're in a tough spot. It all depends on how much you love and trust this girl. I still talk to my ex from time to time because we're friends. What makes this situation a little hard is the fact that she was seeing him while she was still seeing you. How well do you trust this girl? Dont go as much as just breaking up with her, straighten things out. Tell her how you really feel, and that although you trust her you're scared that he has feelings for her. If you love this girl don't give up so easily on her, just talk things out. If you don't trust her, let her go. There's no point in being a relationship if there's no trust. It's automatic self destruction.
2006-08-05 17:50:01 · answer #3 · answered by GC 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well,
It sounds to me like she has managed what most people would like, but more often can't:
to remain friends after the end of a relationship.
You claim you trust her?
Good.
Then that's the end of that.
If you trust her, then that means you have complete faith in her and in her conscious ability to make the right choices and decisions.
So do you really trust her?
Because you need to, if you don't.
I would however, insist on meeting him.
Tell her you want to get the initial awkwardness over with, so that you two can be friends as well.
Anybody that is such a good friend of yours, is your friend too right?
Any friend of yours is a friend of mine kind of thing?
And don't just use that as an excuse, I think you should really lean towards that kind of attitude in the first place.
Keep this in mind:
She's with you, not him.
He's her EX, you're hers period.
She chose you...
I hope my advice helped and I apologize if it didn't.
Take care!
(And congratulations on the future marriage between you and the love of your life)
2006-08-05 17:55:59 · answer #4 · answered by flod_prfekshun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm a girl and in that same situation. I would say that my new boyfriend could trust me because I have no intentions of going back to my ex even though I go out with him from time to time. Me and my ex continue to be pretty good friends and that may be because we have two children together. My new boyfriend has a hard time handling it. But really, my ex and I are history.
2006-08-05 17:49:15 · answer #5 · answered by hi t 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take the advice of the freaking 11 year olds. She has every right in the world to stay friends with her ex lover. This is what separates truly great people from the rest of us. You don't throw the baby out with the bath water ... you don't throw the friendship out of a love affair.
2006-08-05 17:51:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should meet him way before the wedding date. Get your feelings out in the open and discuss them with her also. Make sure you are comfortable with the whole situation before you commit to marriage. Also, make sure she wants you and only you. But she still needs to have friends from both sexes. Always be faithful to each-other.
2006-08-05 17:48:48 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
⥠If it's bothering you then tell her it's either him or you...no in between... they may be friends but theres no reason that she should be going out with him by herself... it sounds a little strange that you can't meet him just because it will be awkward... and yea he probably does need friends around because of his Dad dieing but its doesn't have to be your girlfriend who picks up the pieces for him....and why isn't he dating anyone yet... it's been what, two years? Thats just too much, I definitely wouldn't put up with that.... she needs to pick between you... that or you tell her if she wants to see him you come... i'm sorry your girlfriend has no business going out with her ex without you... thats called a date! â¥
2006-08-05 17:50:36 · answer #8 · answered by ?Blonde_Queen? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would ask her why wait till were married and if you think she is being untrue then there are ways of finding out when they go out alone follow them and see where they go and what they do or get one of your friends to do it for you because if she loves you and you love her then she shouldnt be going no where with her ex-boy friend i dont care how long they have known each other he should have other friends than her you really need to talk with you girl and tell her how you feel
2006-08-05 17:48:51 · answer #9 · answered by samm5683 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly...I would tell her how you are uncomfortable about the situation. Be honest with her. Tell her your feelings and explain that you understand that they are friends, but if she truely loves and cares for you, she will put your feelings first. As far as meeting him, I think the only one that would awkward would be her. Good luck and do talk to her and be very honest about how you feel.
2006-08-05 17:48:44 · answer #10 · answered by twinkies_22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋