Why does the bride's family pay for the wedding?

Question

I'm chinese and in my culture it is traditional for the groom's side of the family to pay for the wedding. But in western countries, the bride's side pay for the wedding. The reason for the chinese thinking of the groom being responsible for the wedding is to show that he is capable (financially) of supporting and taking care of his wife and future children, but why does the bride's family pay in western cultures?

Answer 1

I beleive it stems from the European custom of the Dowery. Back in the day girls would receive a dowery trunk and into the trunk would go things like dishes,linens, Gold and Silver etc. And when she got married the girl took this dowery with her. When they came to the new world the early settlers brought the custom with them. In America, the Dowery became $ or other things of monitary value. This eventually evolved into the current custom.

Answer 2

The lady couldn't properly go anywhere with a gentleman who was not her husband, so it was necessary for the gentleman to marry his lady at her parents' home (or in the church or chapel near their home) before she could leave that home. Since the wedding was occuring in the home of the bride's parents, they were the hosts and covered the costs. Of course, much like today, the groom's family could 'lend' servants and materials, send 'gifts' of large quantities of food and drink, and otherwise help with the burdens of giving a wedding.

If the bride's and groom's families did not live near each other, the bride's family and friends might not be seeing her very often after she married, so the wedding was also a sort of going away party for the bride. It would not have been expected for the groom's family and friends to travel to attend. Instead, after the wedding journey (now called a honeymoon) the groom's family would give a ball or a tea or some other sort of festive gathering to introduce the new bride to their own extended family and social circle.

I hope this helps.

Answer 3

Nowadays, the bill is normally split, I.E. the groom's family pays the officiants fee, and the liquor at the parties, and the bride's family pays for the wedding, ect. But, alot of couples are paying for their own weddings nowadays. Also, the tradition originated as part of the Dowry the bride's family had to pay to the groom for marrying their daughter. Kind of sick if you ask me, but, eh.

Answer 4

The bride's family doesn't pay for everything. The bride is responsible for the wedding ceremony, the reception, the cake, the food, etc. The groom is responsible for the rehearsal dinner, the flowers, the preacher, the music, the honeymoon, and a few other things. Usually, the bride's family pays more, but they don't pay for everything.

Answer 5

The brides family is thanking the groom for taking the girl off their hands...lol...just kidding!
Don't really know, my husbands parents and my parents shared the responsibility with us. Lot less stress and was a lot more comfortable.

Answer 6

hmm i think its because a man is taking her off their hands now. In the old days the brides family used to pay them with chicken or cows. Its weird but true. Its tradition yes but people dont really do that anymore both sides usually pitch in.

Answer 7

I like the idea of explaining it in your culture - it makes sense. Things in the west have changed, though. If a couple is mature and are both working, it is common that they finance their own wedding. Parents contribute only if they want to.

Answer 8

The bride's family pays here because they feel the husband will support her the rest of his life, that it is their final gesture of taking care of her as her parents. I am Chinese American. My husband and I paid for our own wedding. He is also Chinese but his parents HATE me since I am "American". Screw them! lol We have been happily married for 10 years now.

Answer 9

You have to look at european history. A woman's family built up a dowry--things the woman had to offer her husband. In other words, a woman was looked at as an acquisition, an advancement of monetary value somehow. A woman's family basically PAID a man to marry her as women were of such low value to them.

Answer 10

I think this stems from the earlier era when a woman married she came with a dowry. Now there is no dowry and this is the way the tradition is carried out.