I have three children, and I wanted more, but my husband said "absolutly not". So when my best freind got pregnant, I lived it with her. When the baby was born, I was there, and since I was the Godmother, they let me name her. I had her at my house, it seems, more than she was at home. And when she started calling me mom, I didn't stop her. Of course now she is 5 and dosen't call me that anymore. I still feel as though she is my daughter. I know this is not healthy. I t makes me very sad that I couldn't have another child. Please don't recommend therepy. Mt children are all teenagers now. And though I am too old to have a child, I can't get over the fact that she is not mine. I have been there for all of her firsts. I want her to be mine. It just really breaks my heart. Please only give advice that is helpful
2006-08-05 09:27:10 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Try adoption.
2006-08-05 09:32:10 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like you need some meaning in your life - maybe as if you have tacked all your self-worth to being a mom.
Figure out what YOU like to do and do it - maybe work at a daycare, volunteer to work with abused kids, be a child advocate, etc. Then again, maybe you can find an interest that is totally removed from your "momness" - only you can determine which path is best.
If you do not seem to be able to make progress (and whether you want to hear it or not) - GET SOME THERAPY! =]
These are the types of "stuck places" people get in life that really can be helped by discussing the issue with other people and exposing their thinking and beliefs to the light of day.
It would be a shame to jeopardize your relationship with your goddaughter by letting things continue on this path. You both deserve the joys you will have by maintaining a great, healthy relationship.
Good Luck!
2006-08-05 16:47:24 · answer #2 · answered by R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you become a foster parent or a mentor for under privileged kids. That would be a way to help with your "baby addiction". I have 4 kids and I was thinking the same thing. I did hear on the Discovery Health Channel, that there is a hormone in babies that is only detectable in mothers brains. The babies brains produce it until the age of 3, and when they hit that age, women who have an addiction, not in the way it sounds, start wanting more kids. It is kind of on the same idea of baby animals in the fields. As an example, if you have a field with all blond cows, how does a mother cow and the calf recognize each other. There is a hormone that helps them out.
2006-08-05 16:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by brittme 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure why you're against therapy. It's obvious that you're fixated on this child and it's NOT healthy nor helpful for you. If you won't consider therapy, at least try to realize how fortunate you are to be able to share in the life of a little girl that you love so dearly. You might never have had the opportunity at all.
2006-08-05 16:35:59 · answer #4 · answered by clarity 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry, but I have to be blunt. She is NOT yours! That doesn't mean you can't love her like she is, though! You just need to understand that she has a loving mommy of her own. She can have all the love you want to give her, too. Spoil her like crazy, take her shopping, gossip into the night, order pizza. Just please remember that she is your friend's daughter. It is the healthy thing for you, her, and her mommy. You will actually do her harm by acting that way. And I don't want to see her mommy on here saying 'I have a big problem with my best friend thinking she is my daughter's mother!' Okay sweetie? Take care!
2006-08-05 16:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by Therapist 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made the decision to accept your husbands limitation against your own desires. it also became your own commitment.
you did a little end run around the rule, but wish you had just broken it altogether ... but .... you did not
now ... accept your own life, and accept your godchild for who she is. she will always be special to you, and if you get past your silliness you will always be special to her.
pick a different version of "mother "than she uses for her birth mother, and let her call you that ..
mom mama nana mummy mumsy Auntie ... or what ever works for you... (and her birth mother)
quit complaining about what you are missing, and enjoy what you have.
2006-08-05 16:49:20 · answer #6 · answered by PlayTOE- 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U are a very gifted person to have such loving soul and to want to love more kids...
U should noe that nutin in dis world belongs to us... Not our husband, not ur children... (they will leave us one day...)
not ur house (u cant have dat for eternity)
Its about u being there for ur goddaughter. Shes ur goddaughter yet u have had so many experiences- sweet, sour, funny, happy, sad... with her... what more do u ask for? to take her away?
what for? If she noes u love her... she will not leave u.. in her heart u will alwayz be one of her mum... Not biological mum. U dun need to be her biological mum or to own her for her to belong to you... U noe it very well... k.
Just apreciate wat u have... Love her unconditionally. And she will do the same. As long as u are happy. That is more den enuf... =)
2006-08-05 16:37:46 · answer #7 · answered by SxyDeViL 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Send me your resume I need a babysitter for two girls. I know you enjoy children so much you'll do it for free right ?
2006-08-05 16:44:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just continue to love her and spend time with her. Hopefully with time you will get over this. Just keep telling yourself that she is not yours to keep. Good luck.
2006-08-05 20:27:46 · answer #9 · answered by Patti C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need counseling ASAP before you may do something you will regret!!
2006-08-05 18:25:58 · answer #10 · answered by Antoine a 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋