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im in a long distance relationship with a guy in nicaragua. he goes to college and when hes not at school he working at a pharmacy & he doesnt get out till 10pm. i think this long distance thing is killing the relationship tho. i tried to tell him that we should just be friends even thou thats not what i want but he says he doesnt want to and that hes afraid of losing and that he wants to get married and be with me forever but yet he doesnt call & he says its cuz hes busy at school and work. he'll call like once a week, which i think isnt enough at all since we dont get to see each other. y is he acting like this? if he likes me as much as he says he does, then y doesnt he keep in touch? guys out there let me know y hes acting like this? does he have someone else and just wants to keep me hanging on or what? i really need to know cuz im tired of suffering and feeling sad, thinking hes just playing me. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

2006-08-05 08:57:05 · 23 answers · asked by traverspatsy 1 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

23 answers

There is a book that you must read. It's called, "HE's JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU". There are two versions, one with "life stories", and one abrigded version with just the "points of interest". Be prepared, as this book is filled with very harsh realities that we don't like to admit are happening to us. It's very "matter of fact", and something that I myself found very disturbing. However, it will give you a little boost of courage to think of, and take care of yourself. His schooling and job are important things in his life. Honestly, he should concentrate on those things first, and then bring you in to his life when he is settled. That way, you will both know the time is right and can work on things together, with each other. Being so far apart is terribly hard. Especially if he says he'll communicate and then does not follow through. He is only giving you false expectations for the future. Think about what things he will disappoint you in later, if he cannot simply pick up the phone or e-mail you now. Any man that is truly in to you, will move heaven and earth to let you know that he is. If he isn't doing so, then he isn't "that" in to you. I'm sorry, as I've been there, and I know the heartache you feel. I'm sure you are losing sleep, appetite and your senses, thinking about him, when some sort of communication would ease your spirit. This may be very hard for you to do, but you may want to revisit the decision of friendship again, and let him know that after things have settled down for him, he can contact you again. You may find that you are in a better position to be in love, and you may also find that he wasn't what you thought he was. And, you may find someone else entirely. When God closes a door, somewhere, trust me, he opens a window. Maybe not right away, but you will find peace within yourself. Just look for it.

2006-08-05 09:12:20 · answer #1 · answered by Michael 3 · 2 0

Long distance relationships are sometimes hard to deal with for one you can't see him as much or at all. it can get rough and frustrated too. He's going to school and working i don;t really think he has time for some one else let along you either. When you talk to him again ask him what does he want from you, and all the other questions that you have only he can answer. Tell him how you feel about the situation, how you feel left out and confused, how your waiting and it feels as if you don't know what your wating on anymore. If he cares about you like he say he will call, no matter when he gets off. If he's to tired to think of calling you to atleast tell you how his tired day went, then your tired of waiting for nothing. Him calling you knowing the circumstances of you too not being able to see eachother is the cure. Him not calling you making you believe that he's not interested is the cause of you asking questions. You decide????????????? in this situation and in general,TRUST AND COMMUNICATION IS EVERYTHING

2006-08-05 09:13:49 · answer #2 · answered by candy 1 · 0 0

Hey girl spark up, he may actually be busy, afterall he has school, homework and a job. Give him a little slack and explain to him that you're not trying to make it hard for either one of you. He should understand your feelings as well as you understanding his. I was in a long distance relationship and at the time I felt just like you. I talked to the guy and expressed how I felt and the both of us decided what was best for us. If the relationship is meant to be it will be. Always remember that your happiness comes first. Good luck and I pray that it works out.

2006-08-05 09:08:55 · answer #3 · answered by Cuddles 2 · 0 0

Ok, i just got out of a relationship much like yours, i thought i wanted to get married to this girl, i only got to see her one a week, Long distance is hard, it made me sad and hurt me alot, well i think he maybe he is worried that he might call to much, that happened to me, call to much and she don't even like the phone hardly anymore, but we are friends. Anyway, this guy seems to be busy alot, so maybe he could call when he is between work or school. you'll have to talk to him about this, maybe you guys could come up with a plan or a compromise. But don't get your hopes up, if you or him feel like you don't love each other any more that end the relationship and move on.

2006-08-05 09:10:07 · answer #4 · answered by Superman 2 · 0 0

It probably is because he's busy, that might be why he's with you too. Because he's busy. he might not want a tight relationship, because he doesn't want to get hurt, but having a logn distance relationship, means he doesn't have to put in as much effort, or force himself to find the time.
That doesn't mean he doesn't like you, he chose you, so he likes you over other people that he could have a long distance relationship with.
Are you sure he's not in a relationship with anyone else at all? Because sometimes, guys distance themselves on long distance relationships, because they find someone they "like" but not nessecarly dating them.

If it's bothering you that much, talk to him, and tell him that you're best off as friends, and when things settle down, you two can try again, or agree to see other people. But stay friends, and talk just as often as you do in the relationship. So when he does get the chance to 'be with you' and you think he's better than whoever you're seeing. Then you can go for it....

But give yourself some YOU time. It seems you should be more involved with yourself, just like he is. School, work, and your own social life. Make yourself happy.

Some people, especially females choose long distance relationships, because they have lower selfeesteem, or have social problems, that cause them to want to be with someone else, from farther away. they feel if they can sustain a relationship with someone from out of their zone (where they went to school, or where they work) then that person must REALLY like them, to want to continue that relationship with them.

When you go out and find more interesting people, and see new people and faces. Get out of your "zone" but closer to home, you'll discover, that you are just as appreciated by people closer to home, and more available. There are men and women of all types out there, with differant tastes. So no matter what you think of yourself... there's more than enough people in the sea.
I'm not saying i think you think you're ugly, some women think they are sooo attractive, that they want someone from farther away too. Sometimes, people who had a touch child hood, but changed, or 'slept' around, or have a bad reputation at home, will want a long distance relationship too.

Internet people, and gamer,s tend to get into long distance relationships, because they think all people online, and near by are the same. and can handle not being able to date, or be around someone physically.

You really dont thinkof these things, and it's hard to get advice from someone who doesn't even know you... But i'll tell you this much.

I'm from connecticut, and i married someone from New York.
an hour and a half away.... My best friend in the world, lives in New York, and i see him 3 or 4 times a month. (i met my husband through him).

You CAN sustain a long distance relationship, But you both need to have the TIME, and effort to support it. Or else, it's just another fairy tale story.

2006-08-05 09:08:42 · answer #5 · answered by anjui63 4 · 0 0

I would say that he is too far away to have any kind of relationship with. You can not see him and if he is only calling you once a week then why are you wasting your time? Find someone here that you can go places with, have fun with and see and talk to. No since in feeling sad and suffering, just go find someone that will be here for you no matter what.

2006-08-05 09:03:20 · answer #6 · answered by winegoddess 2 · 0 0

I tried doing the long distance thing once, from canada to denmark for 3 years. It was expensive to phone back and forth and any more than once a week was to much but in the end the time we spend apart was to much and she drifted away. Took me 3 yrs to get over it. Dont let your heart overrule what your head tells you what you already know. Let him show it or get on with your life.

2006-08-05 09:22:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Long distance relationships never work out! Ive been in 3 of them

2006-08-05 09:00:10 · answer #8 · answered by JackieLegs 1 · 0 0

long distant relationships are hard trust me ive been there us to egypt but he might just be working or then again he could be doing his own thing and have you waiting for him to be done follow your gut id go for the just friends until the two of you can be together and if that doesnt work out then maybe the love that you thought was there really never was

2006-08-05 09:04:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Long distance relationships don't work.

I think he's just trying to keep in touch with you,in case he goes back to your place and he is not sure of what he wants.

If he really loves you, he would do anything to be with you, I mean why is he in Nicaragua??
If he loves you and he wants to marry you, he would do anything to be with you.. he would be calling you, mailing you, etc.
He would be considering leaving Nicaragua to be with you or trying to do his best so you could go to Nicaragua.

2006-08-05 14:10:00 · answer #10 · answered by Special R 1 · 0 0

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