My bf and i met online april 2005, we fell totally in love, he lived an hour away, but moved in with me in oct. Everything was great but we didnt spend much time 2gether, he has 2 jobs and lots of friends and interests. We went away 2gether overnite once. He was always very busy and we didnt do much fun stuff. I complained. Not soon after (in May)he decided he wasnt ready to live 2gether too much like marriage and he wasnt ready 4 that. I was devastated. We still love each other, but he said he likes being alone as much as being with me and that scares him and he doesn't want to b married and 2 yrs down the road wish he would have spend time alone, he said he just needs to get this out of his system. Ok in the meantime we hardly ever see each other, he is very busy had a promotion at work and puts in more hours. This situation is totally driving me nuts, i want 2 b with him and i cant and i dont know how long ill have to wait 4 him. should i break up with him and not waste my life?
2006-08-05 07:02:57 · 23 answers · asked by Sue M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm really scared of marriage as well, but I would marry this man because I do love him very much. And I told him the other day that I think we should just break it off, because I cant deal with this anymore, and he told me he really does truly sincerely honestly love me and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and if it doesnt happen hell regret it always
2006-08-05 07:12:19 · update #1
im 41 hes 40 both married b 4 and divorced
2006-08-05 07:26:22 · update #2
Sounds like y'all are in two different places. As hard as it might be, you might be better off moving on and finding someone more in sync w/ what you're looking for.
2006-08-12 17:28:55 · answer #1 · answered by Yada Yada Yada 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well , ask urself ' U know the answer'! He is working to have better life 4 himself & how abt u. Are willling to waste ur 2 years life 4 a doubtful love?
If he loves u & wants to spend rest of his life with u , sure he will marry u & he won't wait until 2 years bez both of u in 40's not 20's. So , wht for he wants to waste 2 years & is it the money he earn is not enough to support both of u if he marry u this year?
All his explanation is unacceptable & don't spoil ur life 4 unclear future! Break up is a rite decision!
2006-08-13 06:42:56 · answer #2 · answered by Dolly_06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you,like he said and if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you,then he would find time to spend with you. I don't understand why he moved out,because it felt like a marriage? Well if he was serious about you and if he loved you he would still be there. If I was you I would not wait,find some one that wants to be with you,it sound to me that this guy dont know what he wants and why should you put your heart on the line and wait for him to make up his mind,your just going to get hurt,so tell him that your moving on and dont wait on him
2006-08-13 06:34:20 · answer #3 · answered by dena t 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that as hard as it sounds that if he is that old and he is telling you that he doesnt want to get married i think you shouldnt push the issue...If after these yrs of being together he is happy being somewhere other then with you then you should move on..Believe me its not easy...I am going through the same thing right at this moment....I was with a guy for 4 yrs living together. but because of stuff he was doing he ended up moving out...We just recently talked about how we are in love with each other and that we should date eachother again....But its not working like i want it too....The hardest thing is thinking that he will be with someone else and be happy with out me.....ITs very real to feel that way....You should move on if he is telling you all this stuff..The problem with me is that he isnt telling me these things and thats why Im still waiting.....But he is coming out and being honest with you...Take it for what its worth....Good Luck
2006-08-12 05:50:27 · answer #4 · answered by mari p 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No man is worth waiting for. Tell him to call you when he is ready to have a real relationship. Stop calling him and pretend he doesn't exist. It shouldn't be too hard by the sound of it. Also, in the future, don't try to move too fast in a relationship just because you want to get married. It is important for the two of you to be on the same page, want the same things. If he doesn't, then trying to force or push towards your agenda will only scare him away.
2006-08-05 07:09:27 · answer #5 · answered by cannon1977 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Put him to the test, do not contact him, see if he contacts you first, then in the meantime go and do your own thing with your friends, if he loves you like you says he would give some of those interests up or involve you in them just for you to be with him, "don't you think". There are people out there that love spending time with the person they love.
2006-08-13 01:19:34 · answer #6 · answered by jen180568 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him now. He seems like he is making excuses and is either a loner or isn't really into you like you think. He should want to spend more time with you than alone. It is important for both of you to have time alone, but it seems like he wants time away from you. RED FLAG....move on. It is also quite fast to move in with an online dude months later. How can you even know him. He sounds shady.
2006-08-05 07:08:15 · answer #7 · answered by VOLLEYBALLY 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get rid of him honey. He is just using you. Not sure whyor what he is looking for but it's not you. If he loved you so much he would want to be with you not his friends. You deserve somebody who wants to be with you. How old are you guys? That may be it maybe he is just to young and has to get this out of his system but if that's the case then take a break and you also decide if he is really what you want. Don't you think you deserve to be with a guy who wants to be with you and build a life with you? Find him honey he's out there. Not the guy your with a new and improved one.
2006-08-05 07:24:51 · answer #8 · answered by Kookie M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This sounds like a 6-month fling on his part, and a denial of that fact on your part.
Stop grovelling for him, cut him loose and when he shows up looking for another weekend of whatever, tell him that there are no more free samples.
And if he ever did marry you, all I can say is that If this is how he cares about your needs now (pre-marriage), you ain't seen nothin' yet.
IMHO, he's a "user" and not worthy of being your husband and father of your children. Keep looking.
2006-08-05 07:14:55 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ask yourself this....does he include you in when he hangs with his friends or include you into his other interests? If he doesn't he really isn't sharing his life with you. Be careful...sounds to me that he might not want to live with you anymore because he wants his space to be with other people. My ex used almost the same lines on me "I am scared of the future and being married," and "I want to be with you but need to have my space too." He was seeing another woman. We broke up shortly after that.
2006-08-05 07:11:04 · answer #10 · answered by LadyD1019 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well you deserve someone that fulfills you...it doesn't sound like he fulfills you. he makes you happy when he's there but how often is he there for you? and are you sure he will committ to you down thte road?
i know this very hard to hear but there is more than one man in this world that can make you happy. i would tell him that this isn't the relationship you want and that you need to see him more. if he isn't willing to compromise and spend more time with you then you need to find someone that will.
good luck...i really hope everything works out
2006-08-05 07:10:13 · answer #11 · answered by murfeezlaw 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋