After I told my family that I am moving out, they have decided to play this psychological game and they do not talk to me in hopes that I will change my mind. It kinda sucks, as I am leaving in few weeks and I would not like to part like this. So what do I do? How to explain that I am old enough to live my own life and make decision of my own?
2006-08-05 06:32:01 · 14 answers · asked by Dee 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You don't explain. You don't have to explain. You are an adult.
You simply go on your way and continue to try to have contact. If they refuse, leave the door open so they can reestablish contact when they realize how silly they are.
Congratulations on your move "into the world of Independence". Most would be proud of you-but I guess it shows how much they care about you. keep that in mind.
2006-08-05 06:36:42 · answer #1 · answered by barrwiese 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
This is a very difficult situation especially if you happen to be an
only child. All parents will suddenly feel the emptiness when their
kids leave the nest. Try to understand them as all their lives they
have focused their hopes and energies on bringing you up this is
a very natural reaction as they feel that they are no longer needed.
I would suggest you have a heart to heart talk with your parents,
let them know how you feel about leaving them (I am sure you
know you will miss them a lot too but then you need to be
independent and lead your own life especially when it comes
to privacy, etc) but do let them know that they are free to call
you whenever they want and you would visit them as often
as you could or call them and most importantly let them know
that this is still your home and you would want to feel welcomed
to move back anytime you want or stay during long weekends.
They love you and you love them so the best thing is to talk
and show them you love them and leave on good terms. Its
a blessing to know that your parents love you and feels sad
that you are moving out so do show some compassion on
your part. Love is something that money cannot buy so
learn to appreciate and be thankful that you are one of the
luckier ones to have a loving family.
2006-08-05 06:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by okidoki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could easily be that what you preceive as a ploy of some sort by your family members is actually a form of personal coping that they are going through at this time.......To a parent and even to a sibling--the restructuring of the household is not an easy thing to face ---it is a little akin to an amputation of sorts---someone that has had regular---at hand input ---will not be around ---just down the hall as it were
You--my dear--are seeing this as YOUR SHINING MOMENT---I AM STEPPING OUT ON MY OWN --I AM READY FOR LIFE'S ADVENTURES !!!---They on the other hand are seeing----we're getting older and the kids are leaving---She's leaving--but is she really ready ?---Have we done all we could to prepare her for this crazy world she's rolling off into ? How do we cope with not having her here ? What is it going to be like after all these years ?----------So don't get so wrapped up in your own joy over the stepping out and becoming a big girl thing----that you fail to see the hard side negative thing that those around you are going through in all of this !!!!
Try this on---instead of playing the ME TOO GAME when it comes to what you see as a psychological ploy in this silence thing---Go to ---say Mom and pull her aside some evening in the next little bit---tell her you have sometining to tell her---when you get her somewhere quiet and alone---let her know that you know that all of this is bound to be hurting her---and you don't want or intend for that to be the case---but she has known for some time that this would eventually happen--and that it's not happening in order to hurt her or anyone else---it's just simply time-------I think you will be shocked at the connect that will happen at that point--may be one of those moments you'll remember for the rest of your life !!!!!! Good Luck in all this----and in your new life as well-----oh---and great 360 page as well !!!!!!
2006-08-05 07:00:41 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is good as u have told the family. I think it is not that u have seen how these guys are enjoying outside there that u want to test the life alone. If you see that you can really do it alone why not just go on! Go but don't cut the bridge, and after a while surprise them with gifts.
2006-08-05 06:44:46 · answer #4 · answered by patrick w 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My goodness!!! That really does suck. Do what you need to do to take care of yourself. You sound as though you can handle that. That's the good news. The bad news is that what they are doing is childish, immature (redundant I know), and dysfunctional. Try to see that you aren't infected by their disease.
You can explain till you're blue in the face with no effect if they're that stuck in childishness. Either they'll come around or they won't. You a good person whether they do or they don't.
2006-08-05 06:45:49 · answer #5 · answered by DelK 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just do it. Psychological pressure only works if you let it. Treat them as you normally would. That makes it all their problem, and proves the point that you are old enough not to be treated like a child, if you don't act like one.
Good luck; my mother didn't take it well when I moved out, either.
2006-08-05 06:36:33 · answer #6 · answered by grinningleaf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
pretty childish on their part....I'm sure they will talk to you soon though....when you folks do get together and talk let them know how much you love them and how excited you are to be venturing out on your own. Tell them you will miss them but it isn't like you are moving to the moon! You I'm sure that they are just fearful and worried.Also With your leaving they realize they are getting older and that can be a real smack in the head. All the best and be safe out there
2006-08-05 06:42:11 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Usually if you ignore it, it goes away. Sounds like they need to come up with another tactic. And you need to live your own life and make your own decisions. Once they see that you are indeed capable of taking care of yourself, they will probably get over and everything will be fine.
2006-08-05 06:36:45 · answer #8 · answered by Emm 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They need to understand that not talking to you or otherwise making your life difficult is only going to backfire on them and make you want to leave even more. Our job as parents is to nurture our kids and give them the best foundation in life possible, and when the time comes for them to spread their wings, it would be a huge disservice to them to try to prevent them from doing so.
2006-08-05 06:37:56 · answer #9 · answered by CJ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family always plays the "guilt trip" card...and in the past, you probably just gave in, which is why they still do it.
It's never going to stop unless you break it.. So I say you move forward with your plans and do what you can to maintain family contact.. I think they will come around
2006-08-05 06:37:46 · answer #10 · answered by TP 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋