I am 27 years old, and I teach High School Science. I am dating a 23 year old. I am confused, and wanted to goto an impartial source for help. My girlfriend and I have been dating for 9 months. I am unable to move for a year, because my certification is not transferrable to another state. My girlfriend moved back to her parents house in another state because she did not have a job after finishing graduate school. She was able to find a sailing instructor job back in her home state near her parents house, and she moved in there so she could work. I have never cheated on anyone, and I am believe that she is faithful to me. I asked her to marry me informally (no ring), and she said yes. Now, a month later, she has said we should wait. I have been seeing her every 10 days since she moved at the beginning of July. I told her I would move after this school year if that's what it would take. My question to you, the community, would you try to continue this? Any advice is good!
2006-08-05 06:17:32 · 14 answers · asked by BeachDragon 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Thanks guys. I really appreciate the help. It looks as though its a 50/50 split. I will put this to a vote.
2006-08-05 07:03:54 · update #1
If you can actually talk in depth about this please contact me via my info. Thanks. Really just need someone to talk to.
2006-08-05 07:51:22 · update #2
no - its over - she's already decided and is afraid to hurt you by telling you. MOVE ON
2006-08-05 06:20:59 · answer #1 · answered by Sleepy Mike 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
.First of all why would you ask someone to marry you without preparing, having a plan? Plus, I'm sure you have seen her since then, why have you not bought a ring, planned a nice evening and asked her to marry you? this could be one reason. The other could be she is young 23, irregardless of your feelings for each other she may be immature. She probably doesn't know what she really wants right now. Therefore, now that she is back home she has more time to think about her relationship with you the future as well as marriage.I don't know her you do!I'm just going on what you have written. I think that if I were you, I take her out to a nice dinner.The tell her you both need to talk, ask her how she feels about you. Where does she see your relationship heading? and does she feel you two together in the future. This is very important you both must know what the others wants and needs are. B/c if you don't you will be heading for a disaster must communicate your feelings to her, in turn you need to tell her what your wants your needs are.Explain to her where you would like to see this relationship go, if she has the same feelings,you need to know all this for you to understand where her head is.You seem to be more confused about her as well as her feelings for you. This is the only way you will know. Having open,honest,communication with her will give you both the answers you will need to move forward whether it be ending the relationship or making it more permanent.
I hope this was helpful for you, I wish you well, sometimes letting something go is the only way to find out if it was really yours. Good Luck
2006-08-05 08:52:52 · answer #2 · answered by SpecialLdy 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
hiya
what are you going to do there when your certification isn't being recognised?
Where are you going to stay ?
all these little details add up to deteremine if you two can work together as a couple and as a team.
marriage = life long serious responsiblity and commitment!
Are you serious about it ?
how much do you know about her?
Marriage isn't dovey lovey when finances and difference enter into the picture!
it's important that you know what you want and what she wants.
Talk openly and honestly.
I don't think you should rush into marriage!
How much do you know about her character?
Since you've doubts, you should already know the answer!
Talk and communicate with her, this is the only way that you can go about doing this !
Please choose wisely!
true love endures over time but falling in love is instanteous and that feeling goes away so often...the real question is is the attraction enough to last a life time ?
Marriage isn't a kids' game!
It's serious pledge of lifelong commitment that people these days no longer respect !
Please follow your heart and use your brains too !
Just talk to her nicely and openly !
Cheers and good luck!
2006-08-05 06:31:28 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I would try to continue this relationship. She's not ready for marriage or commitment yet but It sounds to me that you both are level-headed and care for each other. Just take it slow. Enjoy your time together. Just the fact that she now lives in another state has automatically slowed you (the relationship) down. So if you're seeing her 3 times a month, and communicating with her when you are not there, then that seems to be a good foundation for a solid relationship. Continue as you are doing, don't push her, and maybe talk about marriage again in a few months. And have a ring (to prove you are true) when you ask her to marry you again. I wish happiness for both of you. Good luck.
2006-08-05 06:27:36 · answer #4 · answered by CuriousGirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see this as being on very shakey ground. She has a graduate degree and she is a sailing instructor? How motivated is that? If I were you, I would cool it and not run to see her every 10 days. Sounds like she is loosing interest. I would take a break and concentrate on your own life and not be so quick to pack up and move bag and baggage to a different where this woman's only interest is to teach sailing and live with her parents! Nope, I get bad vibes.......chill out for 6 months and reassess.
2006-08-05 06:25:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Technically age is in basic terms a variety, yet as previous as you experience now you nonetheless have multiple discovering to do, which will upload to your studies and adulthood. A 27 year previous guy often has slightly greater on his recommendations than what a 19 year previous would be finding for. This guy has been married in the previous, and is now 'loose' ... what are you hoping for out of this? Do you somewhat think of he's going to 'cool down' with you? he's lower back out on the industry and taking area in existence, his flirting is in all likelihood him 'getting lower back in the sport'. relax, take it user-friendly. what's your rush? And why do you ought to be the single to decide for it? If he's the single in one million different guy then he will tutor you that's he's different. Take a while and don't rush into something. you have lots greater previous to you.
2016-10-01 12:24:24 · answer #6 · answered by mytych 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's really hard to maintain a "long distance" relationship I know, and it will put an added strain on your thoughts/feelings at times. The best advice I could give you is to follow your heart, and always communicate with her, if it is truly meant to be it will find a way........Good luck to you both!
2006-08-05 06:26:43 · answer #7 · answered by Karen 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like maybe she wants both of you to get your ducks in a row before you get married. I think it is a good idea to find out exactly who you are and what you want before you get married. I would ask her what she wants. Take things slow and just see what happens. Good Luck
2006-08-05 06:22:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should. The only reason you guys aren't married now....is because of the job situation. She couldn't find one. Sounds good to me.
2006-08-05 06:22:41 · answer #9 · answered by elbowsmash5 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop her like a hot potato. she can't get a job in your state? mcdonald's isn't hiring?? c'mon. so she got a job as a sailing instructor. is that what her master's is in? she moved back in with her parents?? she can't commit? gas is too expensive to waste on THAT!
2006-08-05 06:23:31 · answer #10 · answered by bad guppy 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you got your self in a sticky situation. If you really love her then i would move near her. If you not crazy for her i would move on.
2006-08-05 06:23:08 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋