We were riding our bikes when my 4 yr old needed to stop to rest. My 7 yr old daughter & her friend were ahead of us so I told them to stop. My daughter heard me & I heard her yell to her friend to stop. They did stop & I turned around to adjust my son's helmet. When I turned back around the girls were gone. I freaked out and went to look for them w/my son. We got back to the girls house (they weren't there) so I left my son there and went out to find them. They were on a street crying. It was dark by then so I got them home after telling them the horrors of doing this. Now I need to show my daughter the consequences of her actions. Is 1 week without playing with friends too long? Should we also include no TV? She normally watches about an hour a day.
2006-08-05 06:07:17 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Considering the possible "horrors of doing this" that you pointed out, limiting contact with friends seems like a reasonable consequence. A factor in choosing the time is how often you feel the need to punish this child. Is she generally responsible and compliant? If you make this problem a 1-week limiter, will you have other more grave problems that you will have to use longer punishments.
Another consideration is how much you (and her other parent) will be punished by limiting her! On that ground, I wouldn't also take away TV. An hour a day is already a very challenging choice for her and for you. TV isn't as related to the run-away incident as limiting friends is.
2006-08-05 06:20:50 · answer #1 · answered by Mama Pearl 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
At 7 years I think a week is a reasonable length of time. That's a very long time for child that age. TV? Think of your sanity woman! No, really I agree that 1hr of TV is already a wonderful compromise for you and her. Boy I wish I could have been that strong!. However limiting her to half an hour is a possibility. It is so important that the punishment fit the crime and this was a very serious thing. So many things could have happened, but if she was crying when you found her, she has already realized how serious it was. Talk to her, tell her how much you love her and how much you would miss her if she was gone. Let her know that you're angry because she disobeyed you but you were even more frightened that something bad had happened to her. Tell her in terms she can understand without getting too graphic some of the things that could have happened. She'll understand that disobeying means punishment but she'll also feel secure that you love her and don't want anything to happen to her.
This worked really well with my boys at that age. So If you choose to do this I really hope it works with your daughter.
Best of luck & God bless
2006-08-05 07:00:43 · answer #2 · answered by fishergirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the point is that she violated the trust you put in her to behave responsibly with her bike. Taking away the TV doesn't necessarily fit the crime. Maybe take away all bike riding privileges for a week then have a way she can earn back the right to ride more than in front of the house. In the meantime, she will see you going out with your son and not getting to go. You need to gage based on if this is the first time this has happened or if she's been pushing the boundary for a while.
2006-08-05 06:37:29 · answer #3 · answered by Sylvia M 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think a week sounds fine. I would take away the bike instead of the TV though. Make the punishment fit the crime. I think you are doing the right thing by helping her realize it was wrong. Make sure you talk to the friend's parents as well, it sounds like the friend had a hand in this as well. Good luck.
2006-08-05 09:26:50 · answer #4 · answered by disneychick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that your instincts are correct. I would do the same with my children, and in addition to no friends, the bike would also be grounded for the week. Every once in awhile, I also make my daughter write a paper explaining why her actions were wrong. It just depends on how far you wish to go, but I would not do less than you have already suggested. Best of luck to you!
2006-08-05 06:15:35 · answer #5 · answered by lizardmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The consequences should fit the "crime" that she committed. She took off on her bike with no supervision. I'd take her bike away for a while...nothing else...and I'd talk to her about how important it is that she stay with you and how unsafe what she did was. Obviously, since she was lost, scared and crying, she has an idea now how wrong what she did was and how bad it feels to be scared and lost. Make sure she knows how scared it made YOU. Take her bike away for a week and leave it at that.
2006-08-05 06:56:44 · answer #6 · answered by momma2mingbu 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-03 23:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think one week is good. She has to realize how dangerous it was that they took off. I might even include the no tv, although an hour a day is not a lot.
2006-08-05 06:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by mommyofthree 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would go with just the one week without riding bikes with the friend. If she was crying when you found her, I think she got the point!
2006-08-05 06:13:33 · answer #9 · answered by MamaSunshine 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think her fear of abandonment and being without someone for a while is punishment enough. I'm sure she was already scared to death, a good lecture will do. I don't think she should be double jeopardized with another punishment. Just try to get them to understand your view instead of punishment. I hope this helps!
2006-08-05 06:12:10 · answer #10 · answered by Josh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋