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why do women let themselves have kids before marriage?
don't you think this is unfair for the kids to be born without families to protect them?
don't you think that this makes the fathers forced to get married to the mother of their kids and make unhappy families?

2006-08-05 05:29:33 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Family

i am in love but i will never have sex with him befor marriage

we are both religious and we believe thats bad

2006-08-05 05:39:18 · update #1

(Daneila v) please read the question carefully you will see that the story of your life has nothing to do with having illegitimate kids.

you have in your life two stories about unhappy marriage not illegitimate children

2006-08-05 08:19:23 · update #2

25 answers

You've asked a lot of questions but in short, yes, it is bad for the children to have unmarried parents. That's because statistically a marriage relationship is many more times likely to survive than a "living together" relationship.

People in marriages, at least most of them, fight to keep them together.

It is very hard to children to have "revolving door" father figures and also too many men don't live up to their responsibilities outside of marriage.

2006-08-05 05:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by Sir J 7 · 0 0

I don't plan on having children before I get married,(Next year) but some women need to have that fulfillment a child can give. I think it is stupid. A child needs love and support from a mother and a father. I didn't have much of a father figure (parents divorced and my dad didn't care) and it really has had in pact in my life.


**Of course this answer is for a women who goes out and uses no protection and gets pregnant. This is in no way an answer for women who's husbands have died while pregnant or women who were phsycially asulted and are no pregnant.**

2006-08-05 05:47:05 · answer #2 · answered by glamr216 2 · 0 0

I personally think that it isn't the best thing to have kids out of marriage. The child won't have the family unit that he/she deserves and will grow up in a broken type of home. A happy marriage gives kids security and a real family unit, not a single mom and a dad who pops in when he feels like it. There is a big difference when both parents love eachother and are committed to eachother and their kids, than when a mom and dad live seperatley and lead seperate lives.

2006-08-05 05:35:37 · answer #3 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0 0

It depends, how long have you been dating. I don't even think that newlywed couples should have children, the parents should be together for at least 5-10 years before having a child, just to make sure that they have a solid relationship so that they can handle the added stress of a child in the household. I'm sure there are people out there who aren't married who would make far greater parents than those who have been married for 20 years. Good luck.

2006-08-05 05:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by reza h 2 · 0 0

Yes,I agree because if the parents are not married than the father might walk out of the child's life talking about he's not ready to be a dad and the child has to suffer with growing up without a dad but when you're married than you don't really have to worry that much about one of the parent's walking out on the child.That's why I agree.

2006-08-05 05:39:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I take offense to that question because when I got pregnant with my son I was with someone for 2 1/2 years....when he found out I was pregnant he was out the door. I was told by my doctor prior to that that with my hormonal problems I probably wouldn't be able to have kids. He was wrong.

Nevertheless, I was always there to protect my son. I worked ten hour days to provide for him. I kept him clean, fed, sheltered and most importantly loved. I loved him enough for myself and his father. His father didn't feel obligated in the least to marry me. In fact during the pregnancy he didn't care how I was doing and didn't go to my doctor's appointments with me. He didn't even know my son was born until days later because he wasn't in contact with me.

He ended up dating a girl still in high school while I was raising our son alone and then he eventually got her pregnant too. They are married and I don't know how that marriage is but speaking for myself, I have my own husband who married me because he loves me and we had children together and he accepts my first born son as his own.

Please think carefully before you say such judgmental comments about single parents/moms because we are not all the same....BTW I wouldn't have married my son's father if he was the last man on earth after how he treated me....thank you.

2006-08-05 06:01:14 · answer #6 · answered by Cute But Evil 5 · 0 0

no

some women (and men), don't want the relationship, but want kids. there have been plenty of great people raised in a single family by one parent.

not at all. some kids are better off with out one parent. some parents (mostly fathers) run out on the kid.

nope, only the really religious would do something like that.

2006-08-05 05:32:59 · answer #7 · answered by mytrollinid 5 · 0 0

i am a committed relationship of 10 years and have a 7 year old daughter. it is OK to have kids outside marriage as long as the kids are wanted that is the main thing, weather married or not.

2006-08-05 05:52:01 · answer #8 · answered by him n her♥ 4 · 0 0

no, i think that having a child can come out of love, and even if the child's parrents aren't married, that it can have a family who loves and protects them. you might try reading the book "VANISHING ACTS" by Jodi Picoult. It addresses this issue quite a bit, and does a wonderful job of subliminaly telling you that a child can have a good life with one, two, married, or unmarried parrents.

2006-08-05 05:37:38 · answer #9 · answered by Flame Alchemist 2 · 0 0

Agreed. Why women don't use birth control is beyond me. Bringing a child into the world is a HUGE responsibility and bringing one in BEFORE marriage, is WRONG and very immature.

2006-08-05 05:36:45 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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