a question 4 the women?

Question

why is it my hubby asks me to do 10 things at once when i clearly only have two hand,and why does this always coinside with my kids barking demands at me all at once,can calgon really take me away or should i be able to do everything at once and if i cant am i a bad mom

Answer 1

Smile and wave, smile and wave. OK I have five kids, a ranch with many animals, a loving husband, and only two hands as well. My husband always comes first. My kids all know that if they want something from me they have to make it feasible I will be able to do it. I.e: Dirty clothes must be in the laundry room or they will be wearing dirty clothes. This don't make me a bad mom, in fact I think it makes me a good mom. You are trying to teach your kids to grow up and take care of themselves. You married your husband to take care of him and he you. You don't want to have to be going over to your kids house when their 30 and picking up a mess. However you do want to be fixing your husband a romantic dinner when he is 75, right?
Good luck

Answer 2

No You Are Not A Bad Mom Just Because You Can't Do Everything At Once. You Only Have Two Hands So I Would Suggest Just Do What Is The Most Important At That Time. Also As Far As Your Husband Goes Well Tell Him That He Has Two Hands & Why Don't He Do Things For Himself Or Help You Out With Things & The Kids They Are His Kids To So Why Should You Do All The Work. Also If The Kids Are Old Enough Tell Them That You are Not Going To Be Doing Anything Else For Them As Long As They Are Barking Orders At You & You Will Not Be Listening Until They Talk To You In A Proper Manner. You Are There Mother Not There Slave & You Deserve To Be Treated With Respect From Your Husband & Kids.

Answer 3

I, respectfully, disagree with the other answer. If he makes these demands then, more than likely, your barking back(that's how he'll see it) will not solve anything. You didn't say if you and he both work, only you only him? all these things can contribute to the reason. Is his dad like that also?
solution****counceling. most churches will council free. You go first. This establishes the agenda for when you both go.
1. did this just start?
2. if so has anything changed in HIS life(men tend to have the world rotate around them)
3. is his father like this-this would mean it didnot just start and, because of pressure of the children has just made you notice it. If so it's gonna be really tough to change him
4. if it just started did: something happen to him at work? didn't get a raise, got jerked around, something on a personal level? Did: you get a better paying job? reduce sex because of something? pamper him less because of work load(kids, job, etc)?
5. In other words: if it just started then he is reacting to something. It is very important that you establish what that something is. Sorta like drinking liquids when you've cut your arm off. wrong treatment for the problem.
6. if you find it's not something you're doing(?) then support.
7. If he feels neglected( you need to remember here-men are just BIG versions of boys). get a sitter then take him to bed and f**** his brains out, until he has to crawl away from you(I know it's hard to gt in the mood with him being such a jerk). THEN, maybe the next day, explain to him that you are so overwhelmed with the kids, work, etc. that if he could help with the house(sit down with him and make a list-BUT you have already made a list so you don't forget anything) and ask him if there is any of these things he could do? AND this would leave more time for you and him to have fun(trust me on this-he'll still remember the fun part-actually, he'll remember that other night till he's 80 years old-and smile). this is not being deceitful, it's simply exercising your right to be smarter than him.

Answer 4

My advice to you is that you need to forget Cologne and get yourself some tequilagon. This will make all things disappear. You might not be gone physically but you will mentally. And NO you aren't a bad mom if you can't do everything at once. I am a mom of two and have two Subway sandwich stores, I can't do everything and certainly wouldn't try to. Remember no one will give you a reward for wearing yourself out. Also you don't want them to say at your funeral, she was amazing and her house was so clean. The house and all the chores will be here tomorrow. Enjoy your family, but don't let them run you encourage them to participate in helping around the house (if old enough) and why should hubby get to bark orders? That's mama's job..

Answer 5

No you aren't a bad mom for trying, but it sounds like you need some backbone. And you'll feel better when you find it. When you are told to do something, that clearly someone else can do tell them to do it. And just don't do it yourself!

You sound like the whole family is running you. If not, you are going to get worn down and it will never end. And you do not want that to happen.

A good mom would teach them to do things theirselves. Yu are not going to be around forever and you don't know how good you will feel telling them to do it themselves.

If it gets too much.......just walk out the door and take a walk......leave them with their mouths hanging open wondering where the heck you're going.........because the other thing they will be wondering..........is she coming back!?!?

Answer 6

You allow your family to control your life. Your husband starts it, the children hear it, and no one cares how many hands you have. It's your life, take control of it. When you have time, call a family meeting after dinner and ask everyone to pitch in and be more independent of you. Tell them you are a human being, not a human robot and demand respect. It's a lesson in self-sufficiency for them and it works! Don't feel guilty. Control is a behavior that can be changed. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Hey SIster-
Relax. Your man suffers from "im-a-jerk-itis". I don't know your entire situation, but if you have both your husband and your children barking at you, your husband has also taught your kids how to be disrespectful of you. Unfortunately, if this is a pattern that has been allowed to go on for long, the only solution will be drastic- leave him, and reestablish with your children who the adult is in the house.

Again, I don't know the entire story. But you are not at fault based on what you have shared. Get help. Get out. Peace.

Answer 8

No, what you need to do is tell hubby to get off his butt and do some things himself and tell your kids that you are not their slave and if they need your help with something they had better start asking nicely or go without.

Answer 9

Plug your ears and let Calgon take you away!

Answer 10

No, you only have two hands and he needs to step aside and help you. You did not make those kids yourself and you are not in that marriage alone so he needs to stand by your side and help you. You need to sit him down and let him know how it is gonna be.