An escaped convict was trying to break into various houses to find guns and money. He broke into one house to find a young couple in bed. He took the husband and tied him to a chair and while he was tying the young wife to the bed, he leaned in and kissed her neck. He then got up and went to the bathroom.
The husband then began talking to his wife. "Honey," he said. "This man is obviously an escaped convict, look at his clothes. Do not reject his advances, if he wants to have sex with you, just do it regardless of how much he repulses you. If you don't please him, he will kill us both. I could tell by the way he kissed your neck he wants you so be strong, and I love you."
The wife replied with "He wasn't kissing my neck, he whispered in my ear that he was gay, and thinks you're cute and he asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. You be strong honey, and I love you too."
2006-08-05 03:32:41 · 15 answers · asked by ticklefoot 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Really Good!
Keep it going!
You got nice sense of humour!
Here's one for you... Have fun!
A woman's husband has died. After a few months, she decides she wants a new one. She submits a classified ad as follows:
"Widow looking for a new husband. To be considered, you must conform to these three criteria:
1 - You can't beat me (as my first husband did).
2 - You can't run around on me (as my first husband did).
3 - You MUST be good in bed (as my first husband wasn't)."
A few days later, the doorbell rings. She opens the door and a man without any arms and or legs is sitting in a wheel chair.
"Can I help you?" she says.
"I'm here about your ad in the paper."
"Which ad is that?"
"The one looking for a husband."
She says, "Uhm, well, there were certain criteria..."
"Yes, I know. Obviously, I could never beat you... I have no arms."
"Well, yes, I see that... but there were other criteria."
"And, as you can see, I could never run around on you... I have no legs."
"Well, yes, that's true... but there was one other thing that is very important..."
"Ah, yes, well... how do you think I rang the door bell?"
2006-08-05 05:00:56 · answer #1 · answered by odysseus 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hahaha......thats very funny.....thanks
here is one for you... have fun...
Three honeymoon couples find themselves in adjacent rooms in a hotel.
As they are getting undressed, the first man says to his wife, "What huge buttocks!" Much offended, she threw him into the corridor.
The second man, also undressing, says to his wife, "Christ! What huge ****!."
She is also greatly offended and throws him out into the corridor.
Several minutes later, the third newlywed husband arrives in the corridor as well.
The other two ask, "What happened? Did you put your foot in it?"
"No, but I could have!" the third man replied.
2006-08-05 11:38:00 · answer #2 · answered by MK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ha ha classically funny, 10/10 I liked the answer from the above user too LOL
2006-08-05 10:59:21 · answer #3 · answered by Pd 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha
that sucks for the husband
2006-08-05 10:36:37 · answer #4 · answered by Skye 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HAHAHAHAHAHA
thats a funny one.
but too bad for the husband!
2006-08-05 10:41:25 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahahahahahahahahaha thats funny, rotfl
2006-08-05 14:40:53 · answer #6 · answered by Mane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry....heard it b4.Laughed my head off that time.
2006-08-05 11:50:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG LMAO i done fell off my chair :))
2006-08-05 10:45:23 · answer #8 · answered by wh1t3b0y_unl34s3d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Poor guy.
2006-08-05 10:43:18 · answer #9 · answered by Russ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oUCH that has to hurt.....like a brick in the face
2006-08-05 10:38:31 · answer #10 · answered by cuckoo meister 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋