My ex and I have been split up for 3 weeks,we have a son whom he has regular contact with and makes adequate financial provision for,neither of us want to get back with each other,neither of us did anything bad or wrong to each other just don't get along.I'm being treated for depression(partly related to sad sorry state of previous relationship)ex is acting like the world is peachy,nothing has changed and its no big deal.Can't get him to understand or to accept any responsibility for break down of relationship,he still lives in its all your fault land.Am trying to move on and am being treated for depression have re decorated bedroom,looking into part time college course etc what do I do now?
2006-08-05 03:05:12 · 9 answers · asked by rhieanon6108 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Reationship break ups are never an easy thing to get over, you had a life with this man and a child together so you shared so much, but thankfully neither of you are blaming the other for the break up thus affecting your child with hatred, of course you feel very low right now, break ups are a mourning process and by been able to deal with it you are half way there, ok so your ex is going round pretending to be all happy jolly, but that is just a surface thing for him I will bet and that deep down his heart is breaking too, he just doesn't want anyone to see that of him, for some men it just their way of dealing with it, re-decorating the bedromom is a good step forward and thinking of going on a college course is a step in the right direction too, you have to change a lot of things in your life right now and been on your own with a child and no partner is one of those things, you have a new life to start over again and you should try to see it as the beginning of your future and not the end of it, have you a circle of friends to get together with once a week for a good night in or out, opening up to friends and family is a help as some of them may have been through the same thing too, I think you are doing just great as you are and starting to move forward without spending too much time looking back, go for it with the college and very good luck, things will be so much different when you have plans and hopes in your life.
2006-08-05 03:18:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 15⤊ 3⤋
Accept the fact that your ex lives in never never land and move on - you will never get him to accept responsibility for the break down of your relationship and trying to will make the split harder on you and could change the amicable arrangements you have currently made.
Hold your head up high, know in your heart that it wasn't all your responsibility that the relationship broke up and continue to care for your son and move on with your life.
Congratulations on thinking about the college course.
Good luck x x
2006-08-05 03:13:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
For your own mental health and for the well being of your son you need to stay away from this man and only see him on a must basis. The must basis being when he wants to see his son. Work out an exact schedule of when he can see his son because he just can't drop by anytime he feels like it anymore. You have a life to get on with. You should also look into counselling. There are also support groups you can join. That can be really good for you. I hope everything works out for you.
2006-08-05 03:17:44 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that. i had the same experience , including the depression- nearly a year ago now. first thing is to let go. Its hard and will take a lot of willpower but it can be done. look at the good things you have, your son, your home, your friends. Look at your future, plan how you want it to be, plan where you want to go to in the world, look forward and not back and try not to put the blame on your ex, it will only lead to making you bitter and twisted. Email friends - make new ones. you will feel better with support. mail me at mpa_l@yahoo.com if you want to chat.. - no pressure
2006-08-05 03:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what...MOVE ON! Worry about YOU! Get out of your funk, try and unload that depression you're in. You don't need to carry that around. And don't be worrying about your ex's state of mind anymore. Obviously he's doing fine being where he's at and NO ONE IS GOING TO CHANGE HIM. YOU resenting the fact that he's in his own little world, just adds one more thing on more thing on your mind to work on in your depression stage. You are being taken care of, that's a plus. Most women in your position are tossed out on their own and have to fend for themselves right now. So far there is no battle for your son. Things aren't so bad for you. Move on girl! Take care of YOU! But watch out for the SNAKE! You never know when it will turn around and bite you in the butt!
Do what you need to do for yourself. Sign up for College. It's a new beginning. Just start working on your health now, worry about your son. Make sure the two of you are going to be okay! Things will be good! Go out and find yourself again!!!!! :)
2006-08-05 03:26:18 · answer #5 · answered by sunnyboy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
stop wallowing in self pity, it takes two to tango, get on your course
get on with your life, why oh why do you still want to proportion blame, will that stop you from being depressed, having him say it was all my fault, so you can go into your next relationship and do the same again. look after the one thing that came out of your union your child, focus your attention on his or her needs , remember apart from your self inflicted wounds you have(and i mean both parents) inflicted enough trauma on the child already. good luck
LF
2006-08-05 03:23:51 · answer #6 · answered by lefang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes to everything you said
2006-08-05 03:17:56 · answer #7 · answered by Grandpa Shark 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think it is the lack of understanding that has driven you apart. If he was that great he would not be single would he!
2006-08-05 03:10:06 · answer #8 · answered by The Drunken Fool 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get counceling.
2006-08-05 03:10:56 · answer #9 · answered by Linda 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋