i have made the biggest, worst, most idiotic mistake ever; please help!!?

Question

Well, my girlfriend and i have been having some problems recently, and things went from bad to horrible. I talked with her best friend to see if there was anything that i could do, but it ended up making things horrible because she did not appreciate me telling her friend certain things. Well, today she told me how upset she was that i was talking to her friend, so i called her friend telling her that i could not talk with her anymore because it was causing harm to my relationship, and i felt it was best for her not to call me and me not to call her. My girlfriend then called me extremely pissed off, telling me that i had no f***ing right to do that and that her friend would not even talk to her because she was upset at what i did. Well, it gets worse from here: she also asked me not to call her friend before i did it, but i stupidly did anyway. After she was so pissed off at me, she told me that she hated me, that i was her least favorite person, and that she never wants me

to call her again, ever, and that she would call me if she ever wanted to talk to me again. I then, stupidly again, proceeded to call her friend again and told her that my girlfriend had no part in me not wanting to talk with her again, that that was completely me. I have not heard from my girlfriend since then, but i really do not want her to be so mad at me. What can i do to make it up to her? Right now, i am giving her space and time to figure things out, but i really want her forgiveness, and i really need advice on what to do. I am lost. What can i do?

Answer 1

first off, i think that you made a big mistake by telling your girlfriend's friend about the problem that you both have. i mean, you are in a relationship and your problems are between you two only and nobody should know this, because its not like you cannot solve that with just the two of you. thats why your girlfriend got angry at you in the first place because you called her friend and told her everything. and for a girl, thats just so awful that you go about telling other people about the problems you're having in your relationship. personally, i'd get really angry if my boyfriend does that. so thats it. learn from that mistake.

and about your girlfriend, she just uttered those horrible things to you like telling you that she hates you because of her anger. you know how we say some things we dont really mean when we're angry, right? but it doesnt mean that we mean it really. maybe when her head cools down, she'll even ask for your forgiveness for ever saying that.

but the best thing you have to do right now is to just tell her how truly sorry you are for what you did. tell her that if she gives you another chance that you will never do that again. and then you give her time and space to think about that. if you're truly sorry for what you did and you already told her, then you've already done your part. now its up to her whether she forgives you or not. just give her some time to think about things and to cool down a bit. dont pressure her whatsoever. but during that span of time that you're giving her, continue to remind her how much you love her and how much you care about your relationship.

good luck.

Answer 2

Oh boy, you put your foot in your mouth big time. I am sorry! However, the first rule of thumb in any relationship is not to betray your partner's trust, and by sharing things with her best friend, that is exactly what you did. Your girlfriend feels embarrassed and hurt because 1) you discussed her behind her back and 2) you didn't go to her to discuss how to make things better. You have also done the 2nd worse thing in a relationship and that is implicating her friend in your issues. I understand (totally) the need to ask her best friend how to help, but whatever is going between you and your gf is your business together. Involving her friend means that what was a personal issue is now a public affair. Now there are three people involved, and god only knows who else: you can't guarantee that the friend is not discussing all of this with her friends. And thus, a huge mushroom effect has taken place and everyone, her friend included, is pissed off, hurt and mad with each other. Not good and not a smart thing to do.

Give your girlfriend space for a bit. She is really pissed off and needs some time to think. Contact her in a few days and profoundly apologize to her for involving her friend. Admit to it, own it, and make amends by reassuring her that you won't ever do it again. That's the first thing. The next thing is to discuss your relationship and ask her what she needs from you to make things better between you. Ask her what bothers her and actively hear her. DO NOT INTERRUPT AT ALL. Let HER SPEAK and tell you what she wants. Do nice things for her (without expecting something in return) - take her out to dinner and so forth; listen to her and hear what she has to say. This is critical given that you didn't listen to her several times when she asked you not to call her friend.

The main thing women want (and as a 50 year old woman I should know) is to be LISTENED TO AND HEARD. Nothing will make a woman angrier than if she feels she is not heard. It is disrespectful to her for the person she is. Naturally, betrayal of any kind is also high on that list, as well, so be respectful of her in all ways: for her individuality, her mind, her feelings, and so forth.

Actions speak louder than words, so it's important to remember that. Be mindful that there is no guarantee she will speak to you or want you back. At that point you need to take it as a lesson learned and work hard not to do this type of thing again in your next relationship.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Sounds to me like there are some way bigger problems than talking to her friend. Going behind her bakc to call her friend after she specifically told you not to is just the icing on the cake. Clearly she has been feeling upset with you for sometime, maybe she just wasn't voicing it and it all was just to much after you did that.

Don't try and contact her, it will make her even more mad. She may be the kind of girl that appreciates a little groveling and flowers on her doorstep. I don't know her personally so I can't tell you exactly what to do but you should deffinately give her a few days to calm down.

Answer 4

there seems to me to be a breakdown and a total lack of communication in this relationship. I have seen it time in and time out where the significant other goes to the best friend for advice when in fact they should have sat down with the source....
It also seems that there are deeper underlying problems than she just being mad at you for talking with her friend for her to have such resentment towards you. Are you guys having problems in your relationship in general and/or having problems inn her overall life? She could just be taking it out on you or frankly it could be U! You need to really sit down and relook your relationship with her. Does she always act this way when u guys get into fights or u guys are having problems or is this a first time thing? Are u usually able to talk with her about ur problems or does she close down and shut you out? See certain questions you need to ask yourself because the answer to your own question is prolly right infront of your face.
You can not make anyone do anything, so forcing her to talk to you, forgive you, or anything is notgoing to help. Give her time.....

Answer 5

What's a matter with you?
Look I have experience in the same situation... Call her friend up apologize for anything out of the way you might have said to her, tell her you need someone to hang out with, then forget about your girlfriend and go for the friend.
Look they are already mad at each other and you don't have to worry about the friend saying anything to your girlfriend...
Back before I got married I loved those situations because I always got with all of my ex-girlfriends hot friends, even if only for a week or two. It was ALWAYS GREAT!!!

Answer 6

Now that i'm complete giggling at yo a** here is my suggestion to you. Seeing as in case you have been incorrect on maximum of levels you would be able to desire to coach which you're sorry and which you're hurting; you would be able to desire to coach that the present situation is inflicting you many discomfort; which you have never been so sorry on your life and which you will do something to repair this. i'm no longer asserting to call her crying like a new child yet tell her which you're sorry 1000 cases and which you have been in basic terms attempting to make issues extra effective. you would be able to desire to be suffering; you would be able to desire to be in a living hell. do in simple terms this for a pair of days then drop off the map for a pair of days; do no longer touch her what so ever if she continues to be disenchanted or appearing like she is. After a pair of days touch her to work out how she is doing yet sound variety of unhappy yet cool. in simple terms start up conversing approximately primary issues; such as you will with a chum. If after approximately 10 minutes the subject remember of you and her does not arise tell her which you would be able to desire to circulate and which you will talk along with her later. This telephone call must be completed over the weekend like around midday. Then call her back at night and in simple terms tell her which you permit out her. in simple terms see how issues circulate from there.

Answer 7

For one thing --- Quit picking up the phone and calling ANYBODY.

Let things cool down and see what happens..........

Sounds like everybodys just a little immature, here, to me.....there are ALOT bigger problems out there and if this is the worst one for you; you've got it made..........

Hoping all works out ---but let TIME deal with it for now..........

Answer 8

Well, talk about a dumb move! Why in the world would you want to confide in her best friend? That is asking for trouble.

Answer 9

dnt call he go down her house n explaiun 2 her carmly or ask her out 2nigh n explain

Answer 10

Tell her to F*** OFF!!!!!!!! and go find a new girlfriend, She sounds like a MAJOR DRAMA QUEEN