what do i do now, as a father?

Question

I made a mistake, was unfair with my 14 yo boy and apologized. He had enough reasons to be very resentful, but, though he said nothing, when I apologized he gave me a big hug. I'm not good at dealing with emotions, but I felt tears were about to roll down on my face and I couldn't avoid. Then I pretended someone was calling me my cell phone to talk about someting really important, said just a minute, son, and moved away until I could control my tears. But I'm no actor and even a 2 year old would see I was pretending, which made me even more embarrassed. My son looked at me, smiled, shaked his head, tapped my shoulder, said by dad,and ran to school, he was a bit late (my fault). He was laughing. I had to take a plane and will see my boy again Wednesday. I didnt want to leave before making up with him

I'm really embarrassed, dont know what I'll tell him when I come back. Shoulds I call him to say something? What? He knows I'm not a so strong man

Answer 1

sounds like you made up
dont be ashamed to show emotion to those you love... tears show sorrow and love...

Answer 2

Kids need to know that we, as adults, make mistakes also. It's also important to kids to see us own up to our mistakes (The part that makes us adults). You can either not say anything about this incident, because I think your boy already understands how you feel because of your reaction to the hug, or you can sit him down and talk it out. The first will be the easiest, the second would be the best. Its always a good idea to have a strong line of communication, especially with teenagers. The more they confide in you, the more you can tell if they are needing more parental help or not. Good luck, and congrats on becoming a man!

Answer 3

I think you should call him. I have 3 kids, 16, 14 and 7 and let me tell you this...KIDS ARE NOT DUMB!!! well some kids are a little unaware, but for the most part kids are very smart. There's nothing wrong with admitting you made a mistake and certainly nothing wrong with sharing a tender moment with your kids even if tears are involved. Some people would say that letting your kids see you cry is a sign of weakness, but that's not true. It lets your kids see that you are human and you do feel. And admitting yourself that you made a mistake and were wrong also inspires "most kids" to say well if my parents can admit when they're wrong and take responsibilty, then so can I...But that depends on the kids of course.

Answer 4

Ok let me answer your question with this!

My dad was always a strong man, I always looked up to him. Out of all the years of childhood I had never seen him cry.

When I was 16 years old my horse was haemorraging from the brain with blood pouring out the left side of his nose and needed to be put down. He was a mess. My dad told me to stay put and remember him how he was. He didnt want me seeing him in this condition, he grabbed the rifle and walked out and we heard the shot. When he came back inside he was bawling and repeatedly saying I am sorry Deb, I had to do it, I had to put him out of his misery. That is the first time I have ever seen my father cry and the last. It didnt make me think Dad was weak. It didnt make me think my father was a p*ssy.

It made me realise Dad was human and had a heart and felt just like the rest of us. I had never seen Dad show emotion before that and that day changed us all forever (for the better).

Your son might have smiled and shook his head but whos to say that wasnt his way of dealing with it. He was happy he saw some emotion from you (because that lets him know you care)and he knew you were making lame@ss excuses to get out of it and that is what the head shaking was for because he most likely preferred you to just be honest and admit it.

I would say from the laughing he was happy that you had worked things out between yous.

I think you should personally make the effort to call him anyhow even just to talk about cr@p lets him know your interested in him. There shouldnt be anything need to be said when next yous meet other than greet him with a hug. You are freaking for nothing. Chin up, ok?

Cheers

Answer 5

everyone could have little ones, make a toddler jointly regardless of if it is the guy that seems after the toddler in existence and is there mentally, spiritually, bodily,financially as that newborn grows. What makes a father is somebody who listens to you for hours :)) Who needs you to extra useful your existence the best thank you to income on your man or woman because of fact no person else can try this for you. To never provide up while your feeling low. To spend high quality time in a park in a play floor at a action picture :)) To convey homestead bagels and donuts previous due at night while working a nightshift a rational sensible and logical loving guy :)) Godbless each and all of the super fathers that make a distinction of their little ones lives :)) Enki Binki i'm specific your Dad is specific such as you Enki Binki :)))))))))))

Answer 6

Your son appreciated your honesty and humility when you apologized to him. It showed him that you value him--that his will and feelings are important to you. This was a big positive step in your relationship with him. If you continue this way, you'll have a son who comes to you when he has problems because he trusts you to help him.

People don't care what you know until they know that you care.

So, what now? Keep being honest with yourself and with him. We men were often taught as boys to believe that feelings are somehow wrong for men, but this is wrong.

Next time, let yourself cry without being ashamed. Crying is an important part of being human. It's how we let go of the negativity that messes up our lives.

Notice how unhappy some people are who never show their emotions. (Your dad? Uncle? Grandpa?)

Answer 7

What are you embarrassed about? Seems you brought your son up well- he seems like a nice kid. Just because your son saw you almost cry is not a bad thing - actually it is most likely a very GOOD thing, he knew how much that hug meant to y ou. You don;t even have to bring that moment up again, but if he hugs you again, return the hug, or say "I love you , son" and move on. Good luck!

Answer 8

Ashamed because you love your son.I dont think so.Be proud that you still have a relationship with your 15 yr old son,if you ask on here how many dads with 15 yr olds that still get hugs from them it would be very few.So youve already made up,move on,you sound like a good father.Good luck God bless;O)

Answer 9

Parents and children should both know that parents make mistakes and sometimes screw up because we're learning as we go along. We don't always have the answers and we sometimes make mistakes. You'll have a much better relationship with your son if you acknowledge this and then go on from there.

Answer 10

nothing wrong with shedding a tear after all now your son knows your a human and not just a dad!wait till you see him again and take him to his favorite restaurant and have a man to man talk!! good luck!

Answer 11

By all means call him, even if all you say is hello, how was school, I miss you, see you Wednesday. Those "meaningless" little conversations are actually very important to the ones we love.