Is it normal ? or just i am getting out of the equation ? how can i handel such situation
2006-08-05 02:05:25 · 28 answers · asked by Ahmed H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Having a baby is overwhelming, for you, but especially for a new mommy. There is much to learn about your new little person. It takes time and patience and not only that, she is STILL recovering from the pregnancy and delivery. If after about 6 months to a year, she doesn't seem to have come around, I would worry. Until then, give her some help and hint around that you need her attention too. Ask her if she would like to let someone else care for the baby for a few hours and take her out someplace for dinner and a movie. Or do something you enjoyed doing before the baby came. It will give her some breathing room and remind her why she had a baby with you in the first place. Bottom line is, these things take time and eventually, with the right amount of patience and love, it will iron itself out and things will feel "normal" once again.
Don't forget, either, it can take a woman's body up to a year or more to get back to pre-baby hormone stage. Post pardum can last much longer than people think and sometimes we never get back to where we were before. Sometimes we have to adjust to permanent changes.
I am sure she is not intentionally ignoring you. Probably, she is just so absorbed in her new role that she hasn't even had time to think of herself. Help her out. Read some women's magazines to get tips on how to help her come around if you are at a loss of ways to get her attention back. You're guy friends might take a stab at you for it, but your wife will appreciate your new found knowledge and you might even appear sexier to her in the long run!! This is new for both of you. You just may have to put yourself back into the equation, sweetheart!
2006-08-05 02:19:45 · answer #1 · answered by 0000000 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is very normal. I have heard of this situation quite often. Being the birth giver, I cannot really sympathize too much. However, the fact that you are realizing your jealousy is a good thing. Try to involve yourself more in the care for the baby. This will help your wife and she can get more rest and ease some of her anxiety. Also, let me say, some women are too absorbed because of the newness of the baby. Give her time, she will come around if that is the case. But, at any rate, without accusing, you should talk to your wife about how you are feeling. This will help her to be more concious about including you with the care of your new baby. And congradulations!!! No matter how many more children you have, there will never be another "first" baby!!!!
2006-08-05 02:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by jennifer c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is very normal. Babies take a lot of time and effort to care for. Your wife is doing what she needs to do to take care of the child. Maybe if you offered to help you would feel closer to her and the child. Plan an evening out for just the two of you and tell her (in a kind way) how you feel. She is probably so consumed with taking care of the baby she doesn't know how you feel. She can't read your mind, you need to share your feelings with her. Every father feels this way at first. When the baby gets older and can actually do things, you can be a much bigger part of his/her life. Be glad your wife wants to be a good mother.
2006-08-05 02:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by Shmootsy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal. Between how much attention the baby needs and the sleep depravation you both must be suffering it seems like everything revolves around the baby. Dont worry your little one will start to be getting more idependent in the next couple months(holding bottles, sleeping through the night, etc.) and you can have more time for just the two of you.
If you are feeling really neglected why dont you guys give the baby to a family member and go on a date? My fiance and I did that last month(first time in a whole year!) and it really refreshed our relationship, we should have done it much earlier. Good luck and enjoy your new little one :)
2006-08-05 02:13:05 · answer #4 · answered by Crystal L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's normal for a woman to become fixated on a new baby especially the first. It's also normal for some dads to feel left out. If you make it an issue though it will always hang around your relationship. Never make a woman feel like she has to choose between you and her child. Instead become involved in the child too. Make play dates spend hours doing the baby book with her and taking the baby to meet family and friends. You may feel that it's silly but it will make your relationship with your wife and child stronger.
2006-08-05 02:12:37 · answer #5 · answered by lady25mo2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Any woman would be very astounded whenever she gives birth,especially with the man she loves. But it doesn't mean that she's already setting you aside. Know that giving birth and having a baby doesn't just involve the enormous bonding (physical) between the mom and child but also emotional bonding that should be supplemented to the child as early as now because it will emotionally and psychologically affect the baby when he/she grows up. Do not be selfish. Rather rejoice on your fatherhood. Know that it's a blessing for in as much as a lot of people ignore the blessing of fatherhood, hundreds of men struggle through impotency. Plus, just put in mind that according to studies, a mother just as much attention level with her husband and her child. Meaning, SHE'S NOT IGNORING YOU IN ANY WAY. However, if your feelings strongly dictate likewise, best solution is TALK TO HER with AS MUCH CONSIDERATION that you can give.
2006-08-05 02:18:34 · answer #6 · answered by pink_heart18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is normal for a man to feel this way as the women has a baby they have to spend all their time with it and she gets so tired that all she want to do at night is sleep. It does get easier as the baby gets older and she will pay you more attention to you as it is hard at first a you feel she has pushed you away for the baby. You are not alone there are many fathers who are in the same situation as you and they have to come to terms about it . You need your parents or someone to look after the baby for one night so you can have time alone for your selves .
2006-08-05 02:16:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want some cheese with that Whine? of course she is totaly absorabed with the baby, support her and lend a helping hand at every oppturnity. You have to remember she is/ has gone through a bigtime hormonal change. it will take a while for things to smoth out. Suck it up and be the best dad/husband you can, Grand pa told me
to keep the women folk and the children folk happy and you will have a happy life.
Congrats on the baby!!!!!
2006-08-05 02:12:51 · answer #8 · answered by cherokeeflyer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its totally normal shes just getting over the fact that the baby isnt in her anymore that takes time itself and then shes going around worrying about feeding the baby and changing the baby and burping the baby and putting the baby down to sleep mothers have alot to worry about all the time when a baby comes into the picture theres so much to do and no time to do it all I have been there I have a three and a half year old daughter. the best thing to do to spend time with her is to help her with the baby, you should be helping anyhow but anything extra that she doesnt have to do would help.
2006-08-05 02:13:41 · answer #9 · answered by Missy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your reaction is totally normal. a baby will turn your whole life upside down. some men even get jealous watching the baby breastfeed! it's hard now b/c baby is so small but as it gets older things will get a little bit easier. just be there for both of them, things will slowly start getting back to normal over the next several months. good luck and congratulations
2006-08-05 02:11:28 · answer #10 · answered by origchick 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋