Could it be some psychological disorder?

Question

Im going out with this guy and we get along great. We are also talking about long term commitment & marriage. However theres this one thing about him that does not rest well with me - He tends to laugh more or less depending on how i react.... that is, if i find something very funny he will find it funny too and if i suddenly stop laughing he will too. I have tested this phenomena and it is definatly the case. Its like i almost dont know who he really is – and as if he can make up, fun & laughter so well. It is quite scary but else then this issue (which is mainly in my head only) we get along just fine. Just so that you guys can assess better; he is a very intelligent & successful man and not a looser.
Could it be some psychological disorder? Is he a very very smooth talker? Is he great at hiding his true personality? Or despite his intelligence & doing well in life, he is insecure? Need your views and advice - Thanks!

Guys thanks so much!! All your feedback is so helpful. I have know him for about a year now. He knows how much i love him. Its a very comfortable relationship ... but this bit is hovering on my mind. Talking about it is awkward .... i'll have to think how to do it.

Answer 1

It does sound as though he is insecure and is trying to fit in with the moment (unconsciously) by copying your mood. You need to address this with him, tell him that you have noticed this (obviously do this sensitively) perhaps tell him that he doesn't have to do this because you love him as he is.

He probably isn't fully aware that he does it, we all pick up habits like this from being children, we do things to win approval from our parents or peers and they become ingrained. It may be that underneath he doesn't really have much of a sense of humour and feels he has to hide this fact, all men fit somewhere on the autistic scale, so he may even be mildly autistic (nothing wrong with that - it needn't stop him being happy and succesful). Have you noticed him behaving this way with other people?

Whatever the case it is making you feel uncomfortable and you need to talk to him about how you feel. Hope that you can work it out. Good luck.

Answer 2

Hmmmm...I've read all the other answers and nobody seems to realize the obvious. We ALL do that!!
Laughter is contagious, human beings in general tend to laugh more when others around us are laughing. We tend to stop when others stop.
Go to a comedy club and see for yourself. Or just watch a comedy show on TV. Yes, the comedians do say funny things that make you laugh, but you probably end up laughing at things that you don't find too funny just because you hear the other people laughing. I don't laugh at TV very much because usually the stuff isn't THAT funny. But when I go to live shows, I laugh at almost everything. There probably is an alcohol factor in there, but laughter IS contagious.
Have you ever watched the outtakes on DVDs? Imagine....2 actors in a scene and one of them gets the giggles, its almost impossible for the other one not to get them even though they are seriously trying to work and not laugh. No matter hard hard they try not to, they keep laughing at each other.
Listen to a laugh box and try not to laugh, see what happens.
How about when kids are laughing at something that they shouldn't. If you are pissed off and get mad at them, they quickly stop.
I'd say you are overanalyzing things and this guy is about as normal as the rest of us. Maybe you have issues about something else and the problem lies within yourself? Or I could be wrong, just something to think about.

Answer 3

Could it be some psychological disorder?
No,just craving your attention.
Is he a very very smooth talker?
He's trying his best just to please you.
Is he great at hiding his true personality?
I think he is.Possibly just really trying it real hard to keep your 100% attention all his.
Or despite his intelligence & doing well in life, he is insecure?
Could be but no tangible reasons to prove that just as yet.He would definitely be however if you show him signs you're losing interest and withdrawing from him to the point of avoidance then he'll be emotionally unstable guaranteed.
My advice: Get to know him more.Spend more time with him.Enjoy the moments and refrain from seeing ghosts since that will only hold you back from your true feelings towards him.Show more of your affection if you care for him and don't just jar,contain and run away coz believe me,it's not healthy.Such unfinished business will just haunt you down sooner or later.
He seems nice so why not reciprocate.:)

Answer 4

Follow you're gut instincts! It is creepy. Too aproval seeking. Wonder how it will change after marriage, as it is bound to. If he is a smooth talker, are you sure he is not just playing you? There are many forms of intelligence, and many succesful people I have met in my life are missing emotional or personal intelligence. Is there any way you may be able to insist on some councilling before you marry this man? You need to deal with this now, before you leave it too late. May be he is 'mirroring' your behaviour, but you are obviously concerned, so you need to ensure there are no underlying problems that will cause more serious worries for you or your relationship in the coming years.

Answer 5

If this behavior is something you find too uncomfortable, you could be direct and ask him why it seems that he does this. Most people have insecurities or hide part of their personalities until they feel more comfortable but if you are discussing marriage then I would chose the more direct approach. Next time he does it ask him, Did you really find that funny? If he says I don't know what you are talking about tell him what you have been noticing. He may be unaware that he does this. There could be many reasons why but you won't know unless you ask him. Asking this question could ease your mind by learning more about him.

Answer 6

To me he sounds like he is a little insecure, he likes you and doesnt want you to think bad of him. So he reacts in the way that he thinks you want him to. This isn't neccessarily a bad thing, it shows that he cares about what you think about him, but what you need to do is talk to him. Explain that you want him to feel really comfortable around you, so he shouldnt worry if you differ in opinions on somethings. Dont be blunt he'll just react badly, just get him alone and relaxed, andbring it up, dont have examples just mention it in general terms. If he asks for an example then say something like "well if we're watching a film and you find it funny and i dont thats ok - you can laugh i wont mind, and vice versa".
This way you broach the subject without being specific and you allow him to think about what you've said and take it one step further if he wants. What you need to remember about guys is that they like to think that they thought of it - so if you word it right he may up thinking he brought the subject up in the first place and may be more open about talking about how he feels.

Answer 7

Don't worry! Everyone takes cues about how funny things are from those around them, and as you are particularly important to him, things get more or less funny depending what you think of them.

As for the insecurity, if he is responding a little sharply then that may mean he is somewhat insecure... nothing that a bit of contact can't cure. (As in proving you like him by having your arms around him automatically)

And he is probably a little insecure anyway with the long term commitment thing - he is preparing to commit a great deal to the relationship.

Answer 8

R-U-N !.

Don't walk.

If you don't you'll be a victim down the road a piece.

Or maybe even "IN PIECES", though I have no way of knowing such potential based on ur evidence.

Does he stare into you to excess. I'm sure you understand where I'm going with this. How does he react to stress and ur contrary opinion ?.

That's one of many giveaways. Know what ibehaviours to look for. Sorry, this sounds clinical, but we must be sober minded -on occasion at least- when looking for a LIFETIME mate. Too many ruined lives for the entirely overdone romantic junk.

Find happiness in living the truth, okay ?

Answer 9

That is normal in some poeple and not at all necessarily a sign of any mental disturbance, that is, apart from the fact that everybody's mentally disturbed - but let it be at that. The question is reasons do vary and you can't judge his reasons just by noticing he has that behavior... Is he "crazy"? Is he a hypocrite? Is he trying to please you? Is he insecure (because, let's face it, everybody is up to some point, except for psychos)? Etc. Why don't you ask him about it? I mean, at least he'll have to give you some kind of an answer...

Answer 10

It sounds to me like he's trying to be polite; mirroring your actions. This is natural. How long have you been together? Do you live together? You might find that it happens less when you do get married, as he'll feel more secure in the relationship.