Do you hate your father?

Question

my father has a mistress, they have a son.... and somehow my studies and my emotional health is affected.

i was depressed, i lost weight, practically i was a loner.

i try my best not to cry inside the classroom everytime i think of what they have done to me. and sometimes i feel like i am nothing.

i'm studying hard, i get good grades, but my father does not even look at it. he never learned how to appreciate.

i think i'm depressed most of the time. my avatar is the opposite of what i really feel inside.

Answer 1

Kid sorry to hear about your dad. I too went thru depression when I was younger. I had some bad moments. Your dad loves you I am sure, he is just pre occupied, and while that is not a good excuse for you it is the truth. He has a to worry about, are your parents married, cause if they are, they may be going thru a lot as well. That does not meant that they love you less, or that your father cares more about his other child.

Kid I know that you might not believe me but as time goes by you will come to accept certain things in life just make you stronger. The things I have been thru have made me stronger. You will feel depressed and it is okay to cry. Because you are going thru so much. I wish that I could help you more, but I can only offer words of comfort. Try to hang in there and don’t do anything you will regret. Also try talking to some one you trust like a aunt or uncle or maybe even your parents. If you not feel comfortable talking to family. try talking to your teacher or maybe a counsellor if you have any at the school. Talking someone helps. I know. Trust me though it gets easier as you get older to deal with things like these and maybe you won’t make the same mistakes as your dad.

And you know after everything I still love my dad, if you asked me ten years ago I would have said the same thing. But every one is different.

Answer 2

So basically, you need to let it go. Why do you take his affair with a misttress as something against you? It has absolutely nothing to do with you. It isn't about you all the time. If your Dad was not happy with your Mom, then let him have some happiness in his life. You need to quit thinking everyone in your life lives in a world that revolves solely around you. Do you want your Dad to be unhappy or are you just jealous of your little brother. Sounds like you need more than good grades, maybe some counseling would help. You definitely have issues. Good luck.

Try having a parent leave you forever and try to think about the anger that comes with that. I stood by the casket of my mother when I was 11 and I was enraged, sad and confused all at one time. I couldn't believe that she kept me in the dark about her cancer for so many years. I was devastated. Not a day passes that i don't think about her. Oh, did I also mention that she wasn't even my natural mother and forgot to tell me so? So, try having resentments agains all kinds of parents over the years and you will learn, hopefully not the hard way, to love anyone in your life/family while they are here. They could be gone in an instant and then you wil carry your little suitcase of guilt around with you your entire life. Even if your Dad wasn't the best, he is still your Dad. You can rise above whatever is handed to you because you are still young. Don't carry around old luggage because all it does is weigh you down and make you too tired to finish the trip. (((Sheri))))

Answer 3

I know how you feel. My father was an alcoholic who cheated on my mom constantly. Actually he just left my mom (who is disabled from a stroke in 2003) for her caregiver, who happens to be a year older than me, a moron, and ugly as hell. But anyhow, my whole life my dad would be drunk or gone. He never went to a school play, asked to see my report cards, or any thing else. I always thought it was me growing up. I was a tad overweight and would cry myself to sleep thinking he didn't like me because I wasn't skinny. Now that I am an adult with 2 kids of my own I can understand that it wasn't me at all, but I still dont understand why a parent would ignore a child, nothing could make me do even a fraction of the ignoring he did. As a kid we need our parents approval. They are what makes us feel like we mean something. We tend to think "If my own mother doesnt like me who will" and stuff like that. The fact of the matter is that your dad is a jerk and it has nothing to do with you and every thing to do with him. I know you want your fathers approval and attention, and I know it hurts not to get it, but you need to remember that you are a wonderful person and one day your dad is going to realize you are this wonderful person and he had nothing to do with that outcome. Talk to your mom about how you are feeling and maybe have her tell your dad or you could tell your dad. Otherwise just remember that you are doing nothing wrong and there is nothing wrong with you to make your dad act the way he does, there is something wrong with him. Like someone before said, remember this when you have children one day and be every thing your father wasn't. Good luck, and I hope you feel better!

Answer 4

Be proud of yourself! You don't need to be validated by your father, you are your own person! You need to continue to work hard, and always remember how it felt when your father did this to your family, and be damn sure that you never do what your father did when you grow up! Take care of you, find good friends, and carry on. It doesn't matter what other people think of you that counts, it what you think of yourself that in the end matters most! Don't hate your father for the bad choices that he made, hate will weigh you down, and depress you, forgive, and move on! Be all that you know you can be, make yourself proud!!!

Answer 5

You know what? I used to despise my father to hell & back. True. He raised me along with my two brothers & sister & I tell you what? He did a lousy job! That doesn't mean though, that we (my sibblings & I) are lousy people!
After years of hating the silly old fool, I figured that I wasted to many years worrying what he thought of me, sad that he didn't spend "quality" time with me & outraged that he was a drunk.
Once I realised that it's me who matters about what I think about myself that I moved on from it. He did the best he could, even though that wasn't necessarily the best things for his kids, it was all he knew to do.
Whilest he didn't have a mistress & love child, he did have a biatch of a wife!!!!!
Your old man will regret it in one way or another, one day. It might be next week, it might be next year, it might be when your 40, hell, it just might be on his death bed, but he will.
As for the now, keep doing what your doing. Concentrate on the next few years of YOUR life rather than his. It's all good.
Oh, yeah, I spose I do love my Dad. Even after.....

Answer 6

Yes

1) he treats me like I am 5
2) he annoys me on purpose
3) he constantly announces his stupid Pokémon Go achievements (my mom thinks it's weird too)
4) he takes advantage of my uncle and denies it
5) he gets pissed over the smallest things
6) he is always negative when it comes to my only real friends

God I can't stand him sometimes and neither can my mom

Answer 7

I thought I hated my father for years, he was a drunk and was violent, totally out of control. The day came when he died and I realized I never hated him at all I was just sad that I didn't have a normal family life. This has been years ago and I still miss him, so do my brothers
Try talking to him about your feelings, it sure can't hurt

Answer 8

HEY ITS OKAY, YOU AREN'T THE ONLY ONE ITS HAPPENING TO. ITS JUST A COISIDENCE THAT I OPENED THIS BECAUSE I HAVE THE SAME THING GOING ON, MY DAD LEFT MY FAMILY AND WENT TO NICARAGUA AROUND 2 YEARS AGO. HE HAS A MISTRESS AS WELL; AND RECENTLY HAD A GURL AROUND JANUARY OR FEBUARY. WHEN HE LEFT, HE LEFT MY FAMILY IN DEBT WITH FINANCIAL STRUGGLES N' CRAP, IT WAS HARD, THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS BEFORE MY DAD HAD LEFT HE SCREAMED AT MY FAMILY WITH HIS GUILTY CONSCIOUS URGING TO GET OUT OF THE COUNTRY. WHEN HE LEFT, IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SHORT BUSINESS TRIP IN SELLING SOME LANDS OF HIS INHERITANCE. HE STILL WANTS TO SELL THE LAND AND COME BACK TO PAY OFF HIS DEBTS TO THE I.R.S. BUT HE CANT BECAUSE WITH ALL HIS DEBTS HE WOULD GO TO JAIL. SO BASICALLY ITS PRETTY HARD TO SEE WHETHER HE IS STILL OVER THERE BECAUSE WHAT HE HAS OVER THERE IS BETTER THAN WHAT HE HAD OVER HERE IN THE U.S. OR BECAUSE FINANCIAL PROBLEMS WONT ALLOW HIM TO COME BACK TO THE U.S.. I FEEL YOU...IM ONLY 14 SO U KNOW ITS A HARD AGE TO GO THROUGH SO MUCH ****...BUT THINGS COULD BE WORST FOR ANY OF US NOW SO LETS BE HAPPY WE AREN'T STARVING IN AFRICA. OR DIEING IN ISRAEL. BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GOING THROUGH. JUST FORGET ABOUT IT. PUT IT THIS WAY. YOU DONT NEED YOUR DAD. IF YOU DO GOOD N' YOU RECOGNIZE IT, THATS ALL THAT COUNTS. I BET YOUR FATHERS WORD MEANS ALOT TO YOU, BUT LET IT GO BECAUSE FOR THE TYPE OF PERSON HE IS FOR HAVING A MISTRESS, AND BEING LIKE THAT TO YOU; I SAY YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE A **** ABOUT WHAT HE THINKS. HOPE EVERYTHING GOES O.K. FOR YOU AFTER READING THIS.

Answer 9

You need to start thinking of you'r future and how good you want it to be cuz you are the only one that is going to make it worth anything.Don't think about the bad stuff all the time,I mean just don't sit thier and dwell on it or it will affect the rest of you'r life.And trust me you don't want that to happen.

Answer 10

hi man, before you listen my answer you should know one thig very clearly. god gave this life to us only to learn the difficulties. if your life doesn't have any difficulties then is useless, it might be boring. i can tell one thing that your father is somewhat better tnan my father. see my father had never let me to play even in my boyhood ages. from this i would like to tell only one important mattter "don't be same with future child" and everybody in this world is usually this their father is fool or mad and remember your son/daughter also thinks the same "try to enjoy" contribute more with works because we dont have enough time to think of our own...

(("stay cool; to make life easy