Why didn't the teddy bear want any dessert?
Because he was stuffed.
lol i like this joke because its cute there are heaps more on this website below.ENJOY THE SITE =]
2006-08-04 21:31:34
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans. He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they would marry, he thought to himself 'She'll never go for me carrying on like that,' so he made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans, and shortly after that they got married.
A few months later, on the way home from work, his car broke down and since they lived in the country, he called his wife and told her he would be late because he had to walk. On his way home, he passed a small cafe and the wonderful aroma of baked beans overwhelmed him. Since he still had several miles to walk he figured he could walk off any ill affects before he got home. So he went in and ordered, and before leaving had three extra large helpings of baked beans. All the way home he farted. He 'putted' down one hill and 'putt-putted' up the next. By the time he arrived home he felt reasonably safe.
His wife met him at the door and seemed somewhat excited. She exclaimed, 'Darling, I have the most wonderful surprise for you for dinner tonight!' She put a blindfold on him, and led him to his chair at the head of the table and made him promise not to peek. At this point he was beginning to feel another one coming on. Just as she was about to remove the blindfold, the telephone rang. She again made him promise not to peek until she returned, and she went to answer the phone.
While she was gone, he seized the opportunity. He shifted his weight to one leg and let go. It was not only loud, but *ripe* as a rotten egg.
He had a hard time breathing, so he felt for his napkin and fanned the air about him. He had just started to feel better, when another urge came on. He raised his leg and 'rrriiiipppp!' It sounded like a diesel engine revving, and smelled worse. To keep from gagging, he tried fanning his arms a while, hoping the smell would dissipate. Things had just about returned to normal when he felt another urge coming. He shifted his weight to his other leg and let go. This was a real blue ribbon winner; the windows rattled, the dishes on the table shook and a minute later the flowers on the table were dead. While keeping an ear tuned in on the conversation in the hallway, and keeping his promise of staying blindfolded, he carried on like this for the next ten minutes, farting and fanning them each time with his napkin.
When he heard the 'phone farewells' (indicating the end of his loneliness and freedom) he neatly laid his napkin on his lap and folded his hands on top of it. Smiling contentedly, he was the picture of innocence when his wife walked in. Apologizing for taking so long, she asked if he had peeked at the dinner. After assuring her he had not, she removed the blindfold and yelled, 'Surprise!'
To his shock and horror, there were twelve dinner guests seated around the table for his surprise birthday party.
2006-08-07 23:41:23
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answer #2
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answered by Anonymous
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so far...
Steve, Bob, and Jeff were working on a very high scaffolding one day when suddenly, Steve falls off and is killed instantly. After the ambulance leaves with Steve's body, Bob and Jeff realize that one of them is going to have to tell Steve's wife.
Bob says he's good at this sort of sensitive stuff, so he volunteers to do the job. After two hours he returns, carrying a six-pack of beer.
"So did you tell her?" asks Jeff.
"Yep", replied Bob.
"Say, where did you get the six-pack?"
Bob informs Jeff. "She gave it to me!"
"What??" exclaims Jeff, "you just told her her husband died and she gave you a six-pack??"
"Sure," Bob says.
"Why?" asks Jeff.
"Well," Bob continues, "when she answered the door, I asked her, 'are you Steve's widow?' 'Widow?', she said, 'no, no, you're mistaken, I'm not a widow!' So I said: "I'll bet you a six-pack you ARE!'"
hehe check ya later â¥
2006-08-05 04:41:31
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answer #3
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answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7
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3 irishmen were walking past a graveyard..
'look here, michael o'grady's gravestone says he lived to 94 yrs old' one said
'that's nothing, here lies patrick o'toole lived 101 yrs!', said the next
'good God!', said the 3rd, 'there's a fellow who lived 145'
'who would that be?', asked the others...
'name of Miles, from Dublin!'
2006-08-05 07:16:27
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answer #4
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answered by dwh 3
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i went to the local 7/11, i bought a $10 phone-card. i went home to show my dad and he asked me "how much did you pay for that ten dollar phone card?"
true story.
2006-08-05 04:51:22
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answer #5
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answered by tangerine 3
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What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic and a dyslexic?
....Someone who stays up all night long wondering whether or not there's a Dog. :)
2006-08-05 04:36:33
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answer #6
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answered by Some Guy 6
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ab kere hehe?
2006-08-05 06:02:02
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answer #7
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answered by atticus 3
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