I've been seeing my boyfriend for 2 months and he thinks we should have sex. but i want to know if it safe to have sex @ the age 15. he says everyone is doing it so we should to.
2006-08-04 20:57:15 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Education & Reference ➔ Other - Education
Your boyfriend is lying. Many people wait until they are over 18, or even married, before doing it. Is your boyfriend not MAN ENOUGH to exert self-control? My husband were friends for 1 1/2 years before we did anything... even though he had the urges. He respected me enough to wait until I was ready. We've been married now for 16 years.
Sex is the way that babies are made. That is the reason it exists. Yes, it can feel very good (if you both know what to do)... until you're puking your guts out from morning sickness, watching your body blow up like a balloon, and then 9 months later when you're sweating in pain as you try to pass a giant watermelon-sized baby. The question you should ask yourself is whether you are ready to be a mother...
staying up all night with a hungry (or occasionally sick) baby
changing diapers
never going anywhere or being with your friends
getting a part-time job to help pay for the baby's food, clothes, etc.
living your life for that helpless little one who is your own flesh and blood, rather than living for yourself
I remember people getting pregnant when I was a teen. My husband teaches high school. We see it every year.
There are no 100% safe birth control methods.... except not having sex.
Every teen mother out there "didn't think it would happen to her," especially those on the pill or who used other birth control methods.
From what we've seen, only about 1 out of 10 or so teen guys stick around to help care for their kid, so you'll most likely be on your own (no matter what he says now).
2006-08-05 01:18:27 · answer #1 · answered by spedusource 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That everyone else is doing it - is a really lame reason to start having sex. You should do it because you really want to and because you trust the other person explicitly with such intimacy.
I won't even start with the whole 'you are both way too young and 2 months is hardly enough time to really know someone' rant because teenagers never listen - I know, I was a teenager once. Let me instead say this: you have to be really, really sure before you take the plunge and come up with a few more (better) reasons than 'everyone else is doing it'.
And ask yourself this - are they really? People lie and when it comes to the subject of sex and whether or not you're 'doing it' there is even more reason to lie, especially amongst teenage boys.
You ask if it is 'safe' for you and your boyfriend to have sex. I'm not sure what you mean by 'safe' but you should know that the legal age of consent is 16. But either you already know or don't want to know (or care?) that it is actually illegal as that is not your question.
All I can say is: be an individual and not a follower. Make your own choice. And if to have sex is your choice - for christssake use a condom. Don't think that just because it's your first time you won't fall pregnant or that because you're both young he, or another potential partner, doesn't carry an STD. Even virgins can be intravenous drug users.
And if you remain the only virgin amongst your peers...so what? It shows you have more respect for yourself and your body. And when you are older, and you meet a real man who can initiate you properly into the joys of lovemaking you will be glad you didn't waste all that time on some pimply faced boy who had no idea what went where or how to get there.
2006-08-05 04:39:23 · answer #2 · answered by poledra_73 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I didn't have sex until I was 17. I very much wish that I had waiting longer. The only reason I did then was because I had been seeing the girl I was with at the time for nearly a year, we were very much in love, and could see ourselves together forever.. In hindsight it was a foolish thought.
If I could do things over, I would wait until I was married. Or at least with the woman I was going to marry (for sure). I'm 28 now, still unmarried, and have decided to not have sex again until I am married. This is a HUGE choice for me, and not an easy one, as I previously was.. very active.
The bottom line is HE is 15, and wants to have sex. He probably has a few friends telling him they're getting it all the time, and so he feels compelled to do it too. In reality maybe half of his friends have at all, and of those they probably have only had sex a fraction of the amount they claim.
No matter how you feel about it now, you will respect yourself more if you do not have sex with this boy. Is it safe? Well, you probably won't die... you could still get pregnant (even if you were on the pill, or used a condom) you could still get STDs.
Never let anyone pressure you into it. The fact that you are here questioning whether or not you should means that there is a fairly large portion of you that is saying "I'm not ready for this" hold on to that. There is a LOT more to experience in life than sex.
Starting a physical relationship with someone is a big step. Especially if it's your first time. 2 months does not provide the emotional connection you should have with your partner.
My suggestion is to tell him that you are not ready to have sex with him, and he has to respect that... Don't set any future date for when you WILL.. or he will badger you until that date, and even more so if it goes beyond then. If you really want to have sex with this boy, at least wait another month or two, for your own sanity.. however, do so without giving him indication that you want to.
I'm willing to bet that if every time the subject comes up you go another direction and talk about something else, or whatever.. you'll see just how much he cares about you fairly soon, without having to give yourself to him physically.
Take it from me, a guy who knows how 15 year old boys think.. He will do or say anything to try and convince you to have sex, until he sees he can get it easier somewhere else, then you'll be history. Boys are dumb like that. Sex is sex.. it feels nice (sometimes) but without the deeper emotional connection, it's just a waste.
2006-08-05 04:15:30 · answer #3 · answered by tcindie 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, not everyone is doing it, at age 15 or any other age. Don't let your boyfriend talk you into having sex with the lie that "everyone else is doing it". In the first place, what difference does it make if everyone else IS doing it? What's that got to do with you? You don't have to do what everyone else might be doing.
Of course it's not safe! Do you want to get pregnant? Do you want to catch some disease that will ruin your life?
What he is telling you is just a stupid lie because he wants to have sex and you happen to be there, so why not you. If he actually cared about you he wouldn't even be asking.
You've only invested two months on this jerk--DUMP HIM and fast, because he is NOT looking out for what's best for you.
2006-08-05 04:12:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ellen J 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I must say, it seem like all people are doin it. Its not true. Dont let your bf pressure you. If you dont want to do it, dont. If he cant understand then you dont need him.
If you want to and decide that you will. It is safe. Slightly painful the first time and kinda messy with the blood from your hymen bein broken but it can be reduced as long as your bf knows what he is doing.
Also, you should remember to use protection. More than one method is prefered. Condum and sponge or diaphram.
I'm not advocating underage sex (besides, in most states it is illegal).(For example; I didnt have sex until I was 21 and kind of wish I was still) But if you take it slow and listen to each other (and your friends who are sexually active now) it can be enjoyable to both of you. And like I said earlier, DONT FEEL PRESSURED. Its your body and you know what you are ready for and what you arent.
2006-08-05 04:14:43 · answer #5 · answered by Vader200 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I dont think that it is a good idea. 15 for one is to young to start having sex. I am 18 and I indeed regreted it afterward. Wait till your married, then there are no regrets and no worries.
2006-08-05 04:05:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not everyone is doing it lol im not, my friend isnt, my other friend isnt in fact none of my friends are doing it! (Im 14, nearly 15 by the way) Besides, its illegal, and before having sex you should always be prepared to get pregnant, even if using protection because abortions are cruel!
2006-08-05 04:02:28 · answer #7 · answered by Spinach 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's right whenever you are 100% sure you really want it as well, and if you arent that sure, don't do it. 15 is pretty early too...I would wait if I were you, if her boyfriend really loves you, he's gonna stick around
2006-08-05 04:01:33 · answer #8 · answered by Kim :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it isnt about everyone else, its about you, and if you feel that the time is right, and looking back on my first time, i thought i was ready, and tht i wasnt making a mistake, because i loved him etc..... i sure has hell wish i would have waited
2006-08-05 04:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by s_peach23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
let him say wutever he wants to say, you do what you feel is right..15 is just way too young!! u shud wait for a few more years
2006-08-05 04:01:29 · answer #10 · answered by Sue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋