She is a strong, beautiful, sweet christian women at the age of 19. This girl is amazing and deserves so much better. This guy is her first love. He is 17. They have been dating for 2-3 years. But the last year has been rough. He has turned into a complete jerk.
he makes fun of her in front of ppl
he cancels plans with her to go out with friends
he yells at her for no reason
and so on and so on
most recently, he told her he was done with her and that he never wanted to see her again. but the next day... he called and apologized. I have to comfort her all the time, but she won't listen to any of my, or her other friends, advice. i know in time he will just get worse, and probably physical.
2006-08-04 20:46:41 · 18 answers · asked by MHL 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
are there any christian books out there that speak on this subject?
2006-08-04 20:57:42 · update #1
all you can do is lift her up in prayer and be there as a voice of reason when she needs someone to talk to.....trust God to bring her out of this relationship....
2006-08-04 20:53:11 · answer #1 · answered by shiningon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Sadly, until she realizes that she deserves better and wants it, there's really nothing you can do but be there for her. If she's not asking for advice, you probably should stop offering it.
She will have to make the change on her own. A lot of people have self esteem issues that cause them to be stuck in abusive situations. Keep your eyes open, and observe the situation, if it does become physically violent take steps to intervene or get the police involved on her behalf. In the meantime, pray for her safety, and pray that he will learn how to respect her.
I would also suggest talking to a preacher, or prayer group. If your church offers prayer requests, take advantage of that and get others praying on her behalf as well. Never underestimate the power of prayer. Have faith that God will see her through, and be there for her when she needs you.
Good luck and God bless. I'll have her in my prayers tonight.
EDIT: A book
Keeping the Faith: Guidance for Christian Women Facing Abuse - Marie M Fortune
2006-08-04 20:56:59 · answer #2 · answered by tcindie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's a baby...first she should realize that if they're having a sexual relaionship, it's illegal.
You should really encourage her to leave him. ANd encourage her to seek some counseling to deal with the reasons why she feels like she's not worth someone better. She has low self esteem if she stays with him because she feels that she can't do any better. SHe needs professional help in that area. About all you can do is try to convince her to leave. Other than that, it's up to her.
2006-08-04 20:53:01 · answer #3 · answered by First Lady 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What has Christianity got to do with this? Too many people seek comfort in religion, thereby refuse to take responsibilty for what they have to do.
Ask her to get out of this relationship immediately. Its anyway illegal if they have gone physical.
2006-08-04 21:08:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can offer your perspective and be consistently supportive. Other than that, there is nothing you can do. She will leave the relationship when she is ready to. You can't convince her or make her see it your way. You can challenge her minimization of the abuse, and you can provide her with resources. But, in the end, she will leave when she is ready to leave.
2006-08-04 20:53:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can talk til you are blue in the face, but until she is ready to take a stand for herself and realize that she is better than that, it really wont do much good,she has to learn for herself, tht no matter how much she loves him, what he is giving her is not love,its a power trip, he needsthat because hes insecure little ***** who has to put down a woman to make himself feel like a man
2006-08-04 21:03:03 · answer #6 · answered by s_peach23 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
as sad as it may sound, there is nothing you can do.. (but there is so much you can do....) Pray for God to release her form this...... She sounds very Insecure with herself.... Stop her from talking about it....Don't let her cry to you... Tell her other friends to do the same....She is using you all to cry to but will not change.... Let her see you will not be subject to seeing her hurt and stand by your decision.... she is old enough to know what she wants and she must like it or be to insecure to leave it......
2006-08-04 21:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by wva_butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be difficult...but tell her to move on from this jerk. She deserves better...like you! It would be hard, but pray for him. Pray to Jesus and ask Him to please heal the hurt of your friend and tell Him that you forgive the jerk...yes, it will be difficult, but this is what Jesus wants you to do. Tell her exactly what's wrong with this dude and tell her something about him that might put her off of him.
Hope all goes well....good luck
2006-08-04 20:55:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
About all you can do is console her. She will have to make the decision to get away from this *** hole. Try to find ways to build her self-esteem as it must be low to put up with this kind of abuse.
2006-08-04 20:52:40 · answer #9 · answered by blasted 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i lived for 20 yrs like that,she'd better get out of it before she gets pregnant,that's why i stayed ,he kept threading to kill them,take them and id never see them if i left and i was her age and didn't tell anyone,I've tried to kill myself 2 times because of the abuse,thank God and my husband now,hes a angel,she doesn't have to take it tell her to kick him to the curb,there is someone a lot better that him,and tell her he will eventually start beating her if she don't do something now
2006-08-04 21:02:04 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
she's a woman. as such, she's incapable of actually thinking for herself. try beating the guy up or something. i mean really pummel his body into the ground. teach him a lesson. that way, she'll stop complaining to you, and he'll be unable to harm her (because he should be eating through a tube).
2006-08-04 20:52:10 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋