What's your best blonde joke?

Question

I'm good with blonde jokes, but I'm always looking for more. Best joke gets 10 points!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

BLONDE: "Excuse me, what time is it right now?"

WOMAN: "It's 11:25PM."

BLONDE: (confused look on face) "You know, it's the weirdest thing, I've asked that question thirty times today, and every time someone gives me a different answer."

Answer 2

Q : If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

A : The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
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The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"
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A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

She showed him the instructions on the tin,

"For best results, put on two coats".
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Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde:

"I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
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Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.


The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

"I think they could be bird tracks."

The second blonde went to look and said,

"No, I think these are deer tracks."

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!
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A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

Answer 3

Q: What does a blonde and a beer bottle have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A: She threw it off a cliff.

Q: What is the difference between a blonde and a 747?
A: Not everyone has been in a 747.

Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?
A: She was run over by the zambonis machine

Answer 4

What do you call 5 blondes in a circle? A Dope Ring

Whats the difference between a blond male and a blond female? The female's got the higher sperm count

Answer 5

Three administrative assistants – a blond, a brunette and a redhead – get on the office elevator and notice some drops of liquid on the floor. The brunette says, "That looks like come." The redhead bends down, sniffs the liquid and says, "It certainly smells like come." The blond dips her fingers in the liquid, tastes it and says, "Yeah, it's come all right...but no one from this building."

Answer 6

once there was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde that got stranded on a island. after a couple days of waiting for someone to rescue them the red head got tired and decided to swim back to shore or the mainland. She swam about 1/4 of the way and she got tired and drowned. A couple days later the brunette decided that she was going to try to swim to the mainland too. she got about 1/2 way there and got tired and drowned..Later that day the blonde got bored by her self and decided she would swim to the mainland.. so she swims and swims and she can see the main land shore in about 3 miles. Then the blonde gets tired and goes' oh **** it im tired i'll wait for the plane back on the island'.

Answer 7

The other day my neighbour, who is a blonde, came running up to me in the driveway just jumping for joy! I didn't know why she was jumping for joy but I thought, what the heck, and I started jumping up and down along with her.

She said, "I have some really great news!"

I said, "Great. Tell me why you're so happy."

She stopped jumping and, breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down, told me that she was pregnant! I knew that she had been trying for a while so I told her, "That's great! I couldn't be
happier for you!"

Then she said, "There's more."

I asked, "What do you mean, more?"

She said, "Well we're not having just one baby. We're going to have TWINS!"

Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how she knew. She said...

"Well, that was the easy part. I went to Wal-Mart and they actually
had a home pregnancy kit in a twin-pack. Both test came out positive!"

Answer 8

Santa Claus and a smart blonde are walking down a street, when they notice a shinny quarter before them, who picks it up?

none of them because neither exist

Answer 9

Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

Answer 10

once some passengers were travelling in a train. for a minute the train went off track and entered a field and stopped. the passengers came out of the train . they scolded the driver and asked why did he do that. the driver answered that a man came on the track to commit suicide. the passengers said to the driver that he should have killed him. the driver replied that he was killing him but he ran into the field.