okay for the record im even crying right now( ill tell ya that story later) i am in LOVE with a guy right now i have been for 2 years..the only thing is he has a girlfriend and etc etc. & i respect that so i dont flirt w/ him at all ..etc.. n he knows i like him.. n he HITS on me like CRAZY every place where together..he flirts with me sooooo bad.. & dont gimme wrong i love it!.. but when i get home.. i cry.. becuz its like hes leading me on or something & that kills me.. and just rips my heart in half.. i feel like hes playing w/ my mind becuz he knows i cant do ne thing about it.. i really wanna say something to him about that how he just needs to stop becuz its seriously to god KILLING me.. but i dont know what to say.. ne advice wut to say???
( btw im crying right now cuz my birthdays next week & he planned to come to my party && we planned it out together..and he just backed out to go camping instead)
i am in SO MUCH love with this guy..i would give the world for him..but..grr
2006-08-04 18:07:25 · 9 answers · asked by chels 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i dont wanna straight out tell him to stop because he might not think that hes hitting on me...
2006-08-04 18:17:54 · update #1
drop the zero
get with a hero aka a MAN
2006-08-04 18:11:28 · answer #1 · answered by mocha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please do not cry. I know this is easier said than done. I feel that he is toying with your feelings. At the same time, he is cheating on his girlfriend too.
There are many more good available guys out there. One day you will find a guy who truly love/ treasure you and will not hurt you.
There is no point to stay on in a relationship when it is causing hurt and grief. It is not healthy to your well being.
You will feel very sad for a few weeks or even months without him.. But time will heal. Please be strong and take care...
2006-08-05 01:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by gchezmoi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok here's the deal... If he's a "normal" guy... he probably dosen't realize he's flirting with you as much as he seems to be in your opinion... Trust me, I've had girls that have accused me of flirting, when I've not been doing it (on purpose anyway...). The real question is does he know how you feel about him... I'm not saying to tell him now if he dosen't.... but does he? because it might make a difference..
2006-08-05 01:49:14 · answer #3 · answered by Rob D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey,
First of all, I'm really sorry about the birthday party...that really, really sucks.
Second, and more to the point. I've been in situations like this, and not doing anything is not going to make anything better. He'll keep doing what he's doing, you'll keep being moral and all, and nothing at all will happen 'cept he'll keep playing with you, and you'll be in pain for much longer.
So my first piece of advise is simply to _do something_. Life is way, way too short to spend that way - you need to start moving in a direction that's going to make you happy.
Now, no offense or anything, but this guy doesn't sound like he really cares about you - he's playing with you, and he just blew off your birthday, and on top of it all he knows perfectly well what he means to you. But, that's your call, and so for now I'll assume you know what you're talking about and he's worth the effort somehow. Here's my 2 cents on how you might go about getting him to pay a little more attention:
A) Talk to him. This is kinda optional, but if you really feel he's jerking you around, let him know. It's remotely possible he doesn't realize how much the flirting affects you, and you should tell him not to do it if he's not serious.
B) By far the most important - get some confidence. This is the trickiest part of the situation you're in - you won't be as attractive as you really can be unless you're happy with where you are in life, and confident in what you're capable of. But, it's kinda hard to be happy and confident when you're where you are now. Sucky, huh? So spend a bit less time with him for a little while. Time with him will always bring you down a little. Spend that time, instead, doing things you like and are good at. Build up your perspective of yourself, make yourself feel attractive and smart and funny and everything else. Hang out with people who appreciate you. Just do things that will make you feel good again, and that you'd definitely be a catch for any guy, very much including him.
C) You need to play harder to get. This is one of those cliche-but-sadly-true aspects of romance. If he knows he has you eating out of his hand, there isn't a whole lot of allure for him there - he knows he can do whatever he wants with whoever, and you'll always be there for him to fall back on (for clarity, this is probably subconscious for him - if it's a conscious thing he's aware of, he's a jackass). So while he doesn't do it intentionally, he kinda takes you for granted in all likelihood. So _play_ _harder_ _to_ _get_. Casually cancel some things you were going to do with him to spend some time with 'some new guys you met' or something. Don't always respond to his flirting as though you love him, sometimes just act coy or as though, you know, you couuuuuuuld go with him...but there are always other fish in the sea. Make him start to want to win _you_ over, somewhat.
So there it is. Talk to him (optional because that could undermine C a bit) if you want to keep on the up-and-up, gain yourself some confidence, and back off him a little, if only to show him he can't take you for granted anymore.
Just a couple closing remarks:
You're obviously not wanting to destroy his current relationship, or hurt his chances with his girlfriend or anything. That's admirable, and I can't tell you how glad I am that you're considerate enough to do that. If any of the suggestions above seem like you'd be _persuading_ him to like you, then feel free to ignore them. Just realize that ultimately his relationships are his decisions, not yours, so if he does end up choosing you over his current girlfriend, that's not your wrong or your fault in the slightest. Life is choice.
Second, please don't restrict yourself to him. I know you really really really like him, but if it's meant to be it'll happen eventually - there's no benefit at all to you driving yourself crazy in the interim, if it won't accelerate things. So just take a step back and try to acknowledge that there are other really neat guys out there, and if you're meant for him it'll happen when it happens.
Best of luck to you.
2006-08-05 01:36:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok i wouldnt confront him right out in front becuz he might not think hes hitting on u so u dont want to look stupid. So drop hints instead. If he hits on u act weirded out and crap like that.
2006-08-05 01:15:37 · answer #5 · answered by Me and ME 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes a jerk if he does that.. and its not fair to his current gf to be hittin on u..besides how old r u if ur 13-17 u should get over him and find another guy that actually cares bcuz those years are the best love years of ur life and to be wasting 2 of them is silly
2006-08-05 01:12:53 · answer #6 · answered by unless_you_can_save_me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey i say grr alot too!!! sweet!!. neways alright so this guy has a girlfriend?? alrighty simple, be straight with him and ask him who he truly loves, if he really wants u, tell him he has to stop with this other girl before he hurts sumone. just do it, its best way to handle it. good luck!!
2006-08-05 01:15:33 · answer #7 · answered by Sgt. Malarky 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is keeping all his options open in case he has to change his gf so dont let him toy with you tell him he knows how you feel about him and if he cares at all for you he will stop messin with you.I know it is frustrating but hang in there!!!
2006-08-05 01:12:36 · answer #8 · answered by ru2tipsy2c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave it alone. The more you cling to something that's not there, the more suffering you choose to bring on to yourself. Move on, chels.
2006-08-05 02:12:14 · answer #9 · answered by lfortier1000 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋