2006-08-04 17:53:29 · 10 answers · asked by M E 5 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Three fastest means of communication in the world.
Tele-phone
Tele-vision
Tell-a-woman.
You still want faster?
Tell her not to tell anyone :-)
2006-08-04 17:59:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 1⤋
On the first day of college, the dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you $180. Are there any questions?"
"How much for a season pass?"
2006-08-05 01:08:43 · answer #2 · answered by nice guy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best joke ever -
Ok, there are these three turtles, and they decide to go for a picnic. One of them - Ralph - says 'I know this fantastic spot a couple of kms away, let's go there'
But the other turtles go, 'Ralph, we're turtles, it'll take us all day to get there!'
But Ralph insists it's beautiful, so they pack some sandwiches and bottles of sprite and head off. Sure enough, it takes them all day to get there, and they're starving and thirsty. But when they open their picnic basket, they see they've forgotten their bottle opener!
'You'll have to go back and get it Ralph, we need to drink and only you know the way'
Ralph goes 'I'm not going, you guys will eat my sandwiches.'
'No we won;t, we promise!'
'...well...ok, so long as you don't eat my sandwiches'
And Ralph sets off. Well the others wait all night, and all the next day, and there's still no sign of ralph. They've eaten their own sandwiches and they're starving. So they wait one more day, decide something must have happened to him, and that they'll die if they don't eat his food. They unwrap his sandwiches and Ralph jumps up from behind a rock and shouts 'I KNEW you'd eat my sandwiches, I'm NOT GOING!'
Mwahahahahahahahahahahaha geddit?? v v funny i think.
2006-08-05 09:04:17 · answer #3 · answered by Jigga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guy wanted to lose weight.
He went to a diet center, and it offered plan A or B.
He took plan A
He was taken to a room and a pretty naked girl with a "if u catch me u can **** me" sign was waiting for him.
He never caught her but he lost 20 lbs.
After 3 days he tried plan B.
A gorilla was in the room with a sign
"I will **** u when i catch u!"
2006-08-05 09:43:49 · answer #4 · answered by tess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do Viagra And Disney Land have in common?
They both cause you to stand around for an hour waiting for a two minute ride!!
2006-08-05 01:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by lisa 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q : If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?
A : The brunette - the blonde would have to stop for directions!
2006-08-05 01:04:25 · answer #6 · answered by LiTlE mIsSy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q/why does a man snore while laying on his back A/because his balls fall over his a##hole and causes him to vapor locks
2006-08-05 01:17:06 · answer #7 · answered by singlemom1204 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She was Soooooooo Blonde...
Under "education" on her job application, she put "Hooked On Phonics."
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK" and "DON'T WALK."
At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she wrote "Sagittarius."
2006-08-05 01:03:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a yo momma joke so dont get offended ok:
yo mama soooo nasty that she got kicked out of red lobster for bringing her own crabs lol
2006-08-05 02:03:13 · answer #9 · answered by Honey Brown Eyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
George Bush.......I thought it was good.
2006-08-05 00:58:04 · answer #10 · answered by iamsupermanurnot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋