What do you think of this poem of love.?

Question

I do not sleep alot because I'm afraid I'll miss a word or a poem. But when I do. I have poetic dreams like this one. What do you think it is or is it anything.
As my gaze is in your eyes, I always think of a bright blue sky.
How beautiful your face appears to me, makes me think of what my life should be.
I've always longed to hold your hand, and show to you the man I am.
As each day, turns into night, I realize how much I need you in my life.
Now as my mind always thinks of you, I'll show to you my loves so true...

Answer 1

You are truely awesome! I think what you are saying in it is; You have a image of a woman you cannot stop thinking about. A woman that slipped away from your grasp, and when you think of her you smile. You feel that you want that happiness she brings to life. You want to take her by the hand and prove to her that you are the man she is looking for.And each day you awake , She is the first thing that comes to mind, and you are realizing how much you long for true love, and that she is the one. You are in love my friend and you need to tell her, give this to her and let her know these intense feelings you have. Any woman would be honored to have someone feel like this about her. Excellent poem! very well said. So now that you realize how you feel, don't waste another minute from making your dream come true.

Answer 2

Neat! I have a few pointers for you though.

The first line sounds a bit weird. It does not seem to flow. I suggest something like:
>>As I gaze into your eyes, I see the bright blue sky.

Next, the second line flows right, but makes little sense. How about this (it's a big change, I know; but you have to make it say something realistic and coherent):
>>When your face appears before me, I find it so lovely.

I think the third line can stay as it is. Maybe change "always" to "often" to make it realistic.

The fourth line may be able to stay as it is, but I would have written:
>>Every day and every night I feel I need you in my life.
That seems to flow more smoothly to me.

The fifth line seems a bit odd sounding too. I would change it to:
>>And each time I think of you, I long to show you my love is true.
It would be a continuation of the fourth line.

Maybe there could be a sixth line to ask her how she thinks of you or to invite her into a relationship, but I think that is optional because she will probably get the hint from the other lines.

This seems like a good poem. (I hope you don't mind my editing.) Just be careful what girl you give it to, to make sure she'll appreciate it. Definitely wait until you've been in a relationship a while before you give it to any girl. You can tell her that you wrote it and never had the nerve to give it to her. She'll be floored! What you need to do now if you want to approach a girl is to get her number and then ask her out. If things don't work out, you can always save it for a more deserving girl. You should not try to pick up women with poetry, because you'll seem like you are desperate. Good luck!

Oh, yes. I forgot you asked what we thought it was. I think you're looking for a girlfriend, and that goal is so ingrained into your subconscious mind that you are already writing love poems for the girl of your desire. It will likely make some girl happy too! Good luck!

Answer 3

I am here, and my name is chaos
Rap is to me like music is to Amadeus
Wolfgang, the famous composer
When I stepped in I told him to move over

I am the new kid on the block
And the mission - to make your body rock
And to all the fools that think they're tough
You'll never beat me, cuz I'm just too rough

For my nature, my habitat, and even my environment
Don't try me now, just go into retirement
And think about what you have done
You got beat, cuz you tried to move on


You meet your fate when your lines ain't straight
They're in your lyrical debatin' when your styles ain't great
You got boogie-old rhymes to the point of no return
You switch, you discern, but when will you learn
That my rhymes burn, my brain waves melt
Who gives a damn how you fall, overturned black belts
I show you no remorse, I break off, I get divorced
Could I be the source of this regenerative force
Rejuvinated, I escalate it, you're underrated
Now you're underrated cuz your homeboys played it
Your weak appearances are only doing me the favor
While I'm kickin' butt and flavor showin' off on your behavior


Brother be beefing like a source that's protecting all people
put your hands up in the pulpit, coz it is drippin' like water
from a leaky faucet
Hand me the mic and I would rock it
To you, sometimes you got to stop it - To make it rhyme
It will earn full work and yo the final jam
is the freakin' bad bone, man take much and stand it
And, yo, to beat us right now is the chance
So everybody, yo, get on the floor
I wanna see your dance

Answer 4

I majored in lit in college. i could say for this poem, you go with for some history on the poet. It starts off out kinda unhappy, with the view. 'Futures i've got divorced' maximum like refers to abandoned hopes and desires. The 'do no longer look lower back' and knife reference is in all likelihood approximately getting over painful thoughts. That it no longer cuts implies desire. Or in all likelihood numbness. The stuff on complacency in all likelihood ability he feels he enable somebody down by using no longer doing some thing he ought to have performed. subsequently the accusatory voices. The final paragraph is a little greater complicated. My experience is that the narrator found out his existence instructions and acted as a result, subsequently the massive advantages. This guy feels like a soldier to me. one that believes that no longer taking action at some crucial 2d led to others harm. Now he's grew to become that recommendations-set around, and located some peace. He gave up previous and futile tries and took a different way of residing, and he's commencing to discover his existence greater precious. i do no longer oftentimes like poems, yet my mum and dad spents hundreds that they did no longer have so i ought to earnings to interpret then. i'm greater approximately novels, although. lower back, you will in all likelihood earnings from understanding some thing of this author's existence. This one is surprisingly own, previous the final experience of the sweetness and cruelty of the international I in lots of situations see in lesser poems.

Answer 5

Your poem is very good and whoever your writeing about is a very lucky person and i hope they give you all the love that you want and need , I hope someday I can love someone enough to write a beautiful poem like yours!
P.S. keep writeing

Answer 6

Let's be real here... your poem stinks.

You need a girlfriend so that way you'll have time to spend with her and not at home writing poems about love.

What a tool

Answer 7

Meter doesn't scan; rhyme scheme is uneven; images are cliche'.
Sorry dude, but this kind of 'poetry' makes me want to yack.

But hey, the chicks dig sappy stuff; maybe she'll like it for your intent.

Answer 8

i love your poem and heres one for you

I saw a shadow rat last night/
he crawled into my soul
he tried to eat my loving sins
but fell into my hole
the voids within are always hungry
and what it marks it eats
ill come to visit you one night
while you are trying to sleep

i hope you like it ~~just a little nugget of joy

Answer 9

it's not that bad. i liked it. you have potential. my dad is a poet, songwriter, and author. he has a book published also on amazon.com called Seth, by Sam L Douglas. everyone has to start somewhere right? good luck with your poetry and god bless.

Answer 10

it's good,but i think u need more practice and if u do i think u'll make it big
try more pwerful mind imiging vocab
and that will due
but other then that great