Breakup, get back together...repeat?

Question

I have been with my boyfriend for about 3 years now. On the rare occasion that we have a fight it escalates quickly & one of us breaks up with the other, takes our stuff back & then fast forward a few days... one of us breaks down & asks the other one to come back. The other always goes back. We really do love & care about each other but people always tell me that that is a bad sign to have broken up so many times (about 10 in 3 years, the longest split lasted 5days) but that also means we have only fought 10 times in 3years. Does anyone have any experience with a situation like this? Did it work out long term or not?

Answer 1

Anytime you experience frequent break-ups in a realtionship, that does not bode well for the longevity of the relationship. It shows an immaturity or an inability to work through problems. The pattern seems to be one of you runs away from the problem and the relationship and then after you cool off, you want the other person back. You guys need to work on working through a problem and approaching a fight with some calm. If you sense things are escalating, step back and say you guys need a time-out on the fight b/c the communication is breaking down. Fighting and screaming and running away doesn't solve anything, being calm and talking rationally and letting the other person know that you're not going anywhere is what will make your relationship strong. Good luck!

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I have experience well. okay i have been with my boyfriend for more than a year. And well he gets mad and then breaks up with me and then we are back together the next day. All i have to say is don't listen to what others say. Because i noticed when i listened to what others kept telling me just sometimes messed things up more for me and my boo. And it does work out in long term and some cases it doesn't for other people. But if you and your boo want to make the relationship work and last.. i will assure you that you guys will make it through for sure. People tell me that me and my boo don't love or care about each other enough but the reason why we have fights with each other is cause we care to much about each other and like to see each other doing the right thing and not wrong. So just know that you're not the only one whose going through the repeated break up and getting back together.

Answer 4

My friend and her boyfriend used to go through that a lot, but they love eachother to death. It may not be a good sign that you take your stuff and leave, and if your fights are that bad, maybe the next time you should take a month off from each other, or instead of blowing up at each other, try to stay calm and talk it out to an agreement. Hopefully that will work and you can both relieve stress and such. No one needs stress, and if you truly love each other, breakups can be avoided. I hope you two can work it out.

Answer 5

I always believe that breaking up is like the nuclear weapon in your dating arsenal. That should only be pulled out if you mean it. If you both really care about one another, stop putting each other through so much bullsh;t. Communicate or at least agree to disagree. Every relationships have their hardships but (no offense) the constant breaking up is pretty immature. Your both the boy/girl who cried wolf. I wonder, has breaking up kind of lost its meaning for the both of you? Since you guys dont usually fight, you probably have something really special going for you. Try giving yourself the space and time you need without breaking up. If you need a few days to yourself, take them! You deserve it. Just treat breaking up as a last resort, like a nuke.

Answer 6

hmmm well, my bf and i have broken up about 3 times in a 1 and a half year relationship. my friends keep telling me that we're incompatible, and that i shouldn't take him back- because he's always the one that dumps me. but, he only ever does it because he thinks he doesn't have enough time for me. but then, about a week later, he'll call me back, asking me to talk. and he'll have arranged things so that he can see me more, and he asks me back out-- and i say yes.

i understand your situation. my bf and i love each other but sometimes you need to break up with someone to see that and to be reminded of how much you really love each other.

i'd say if it's bothering you, tell your boyfriend that you can't keep doing it, and he should think about that next time you guys majorly fight...i actually told my bf this time that if we ever break up again it'll be for real, so he needs to communicate next time there's a problem before things escalate...

i dont know if i helped at all, lol. sorry, but i can relate

Answer 7

Okay, first I wanna tell ya, from experience, don't let what your friends think effect how you feel about your relationship. It messes things up bad, TRUST ME. Anyways, you say you love and care about him, and since it's been 3 whole years, you must be extremely close. Sit him down and talk about where you both see yourselves in, say, 10 years. I have a feelin you'll be together. You guys have to agree not to fight over little petty things. Be completely honest with each other, and also, agree not to move out just cuz he left the toilet seat up. : ). Good Luck, sweetie, and remember to stay happy and true to yourself.

Answer 8

well i have had a relationship like that not 2 long ago i was going out with him 4 5 months and we kept breaking up cuz he would b with another so then i would get back with him and we repeated this 4 about 20 times until we broke up 4 life and no it didn't work out at all so just go on with life

Answer 9

There will be disagreements, even the best relationships have them as well as marriages. The fact is you keep working through things and talking. It will work as long as you keep working things out. You can make it last a lifetime. Seems like you are doing a great job. I wish you both the best and a long and happy life together!!!!

Answer 10

Im sorry in the long run one of you or both of you will get really hurt in the end. i know cuz i was dating a guy for a long time and we broke up 28 times in a yr we loved eachother alot but it juss didnt work out.. we both got hurt and tried to make it work out so many times but in the end we had to let go.. i know that sound harsh and hurtful but in the end you will be better off instead of all the heart ache and sleepless nited and crying. in my situation we are no longer friends but i am a better person cuz we broke up. much stronger as a women. take care hon..